How do you make friends on the internet?

Every time I try, I seem to slip into my old AOL habits. Like, I'll be talking to someone, trying to set up a trade, and it'll be like:

Them: Hi, my site is http://www.whetever.com, and I set you up for a trade, could you add me?

Me: Sure, no prob, how much can you send a day?

Them: I'd say probably a solid 100, I know I can do at least 100-200 a day...

Me: Hmm. Well, in that case, we could probably work something out. Who designed your site?

Them: Oh, I did, you like it?

Me: .......

Me: Are you wearing any underwear?

Them: What the fuck?

Me: I'm serious, are you sitting there, naked, thinking about all the things me and my BIG TGP can do to you right about now?

Them: Ok, leave me alone, now, please, you're freaking me out.

Me: Ok. Sorry, old habit. Let's get back to business.

Them: ....Umm, ok, I guess so. So, what can you send per day?

Me: depends

Them: depends? Depends on what?

Me: ........

Me: It depends on what you are wearing at the moment.

Them: Fuck you!

Me: That's the point, right?

Them: Leave me the fuck alone!

See? No hope for hybrid.