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* never call the police
* pull out if she's not on the pill
* never trust her when she says she is on the pill
* don't lose your passport in another country
* make sure your safe is flame retardent
* insure your car
* insure your home
* don't do man made drugs
* your parents were right
* it fucking hurts like hell when you fall down
* where there is smoke... there is fire
* NEVER, EVER, NO MATTER WHAT... date a stripper!
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