who do you blame..

Men are pigs ... Sometimes we have the mentality of a flea..We don't know a good thing until it's gone

I'll second that

Other way around, from my experience.

Women don't know a good guy when they have one.

Women are sluts.

We had a similar discussion on another board not too long ago. I have come to the conclusion that men cheat because it's there. Men I think for the most part are controlled by their dick. Men don't mean to hurt their partner by cheating. It was there and they hit it. It's like they have no concept of how it does hurt their partner.

However, women seem to cheat on purpose. They will go out of their way to get even. If the guy has to work long hours or is out of town on business a lot the woman will cheat and if caught respond with something like, "Well if you were around more, I wouldn't have to." Women I think are smart and do things intentionally for a reason where as men are more like the proverbial Pavlovian dog who start to drool when they here the dinner bell.

In MY opinion, since I have been married for almost 20 years and I think I can NOW give advice..... LOL

In my opinion it is more the fault of the COUPLE and not the girl that was with this man. And I say this because I don't think an outsider is as much at fault as the ones involved in the situation because often times they don't KNOW the situation..... if HE didn't tell her he was involved, this is his fault, not hers....... if he did, then shame on her for getting involved with someone who was involved, but even at that, SHE wouldn't know he was looking if he didn't go after her, right?

ON the hand of it belonging to the couple.......... women, KEEP the men happy and they won't NEED or WANT to stray...... MEN, if you aren't happy, TALK to the women, you might find out she is just as bored with things as you are, often times this is the case.... routine sometimes makes us take things for granted and we get settled into relationships and there isn't surprises or anything spontaneous about it anymore. THIS isn't that girl's fault, it is the COUPLE's fault. I don't see it being an outsiders fault NEAR as much as some people would believe. Simply because if it comes to a time when an outsider is involved, then things have already gone bad by the time that outsider was put in a situation to make such decisions and choices.

COMMUNICATION is the key and without it, relationships on ANY level are hopeless..... in my opinion.

My husband and I are so in tune with each other that we can almost tell what the other one's thinking before we know ourselves, all because we have a very open line of communication, love and trust.

I never understood why people would blame the person who's not even in the relationship. If a woman cheats on me the last person I'm gonna blame is the dude she slept with. I'm gonna blame my girlfriend, she's the one that I'm not committed to not him. But people just love to pass blame. It's the person who cheated that?s at fault. Just because there are problems in the relationship is no reason to cheat. Either talk out your problems or break up. There's never an excuse to cheat.

EXACTLY!!!
BUT we live in a place these days where it is never the fault of the one that actually DID it, it's always someone else's fault. Tha is one thing that kills me about things today, no one wants to take responsibility for anything, blame someone who had little to nothing to do with the situation, it's the cowards way out and the easy way out.

agreed

I guess that would make a couple of the men around here "Pot Belly Pigs".

And then they paved paradise and put up a parking lot, you are so right though, but a big loss usually teaches us a lesson. That lesson might be that we will be more aware of what we got going the next time, and it might teach some to just keep on trucking.

I know what a good thing I have and it ain't going no where

sounds like your friend had an assed-up relationship from the start. cheating is a symptom of larger underlying relationship problems, not the cause itself.

I was totally in love with this guy who ended up dating another girl behind my back I was so mad! Well anyway I totally hated her so I called her a home wrecker and she said wait let me explain..turns out she was the nicest girl in the world and she told me everything. We ended up being friends (he had told her he was totally single!) I was so happy when she said shed never talk to him again. He said she was a lying bitch..etc Well anyway a month later I found out he went on a date with a different girl, we were in two different states long distance relationship for a yr. Then I finally realized that even by getting rid of the other girl didnt matter because a new one would just come along and replace her eventually. Even though he never actually slept with another girl we broke up because it was just a matter of time before he did if I would have been stupid enough to stick around.

Yeah its her boyfriend is a dog syndrome, she will realize it just like I did eventually!

That's very true.... we get tunnel vision when placed in a situation where we could get some.. few men can resist the urge to get their quick fix.

hence the reason to STAY single. dating is not being committed the way marriage is so while one is dating, everything is open game. why waste the emotional effort?

I totally agree, I got my heart broken once and to be honest it is really nice to just go out and have fun with my girlfriends

tell your friend to consider the disease risk alone. tell her to research HPV.

condoms only do so much, they certainly don't prevent his balls from dragging all over everything. saliva alone carries enough risk.

sex can wait, masturbate! (www.eroscillator.com)

blame them both but make sure you realize that the only person to take it out on is your man. and remember that shit happens, he was obviously not your prince charming, and move on.

Women are way worse than men they are just smarter when it comes to hiding it they will deny it at all costs and we are just to shallow to give a fuck its just easier to move on to a new slut then fight with the old one

My husband would never cheat and neither would I. I am devoted..he has a fear of death. Works for me!

IMO Men and women cheat because they want to
Somethings not right in the relationship and it takes too much work to fix it so they stray.

I get so tired of hearing "I was drunk" ," it's in a mans nature" etc... These are not excuses ppl. Take responsibility for what you've done and deal with the outcome. Men know what they're doing just as much as women do,there is no excuse for cheating. If you're unhappy with who you're with then tell them, try and fix it or leave. Yeah some of you have kids and you're not happy in your current relationship, and you think it's best if you stay just because you have kids. Well imho I don't think it's best to stay.
Kids are very smart little creatures and they can sense when somethings not right.

To make a long story short, just think before you act. A few minutes of new pussy or new cock prolly isn't worth losing everything you've got

I've been with my hubby for 5 years and we talk all the time...maybe too much LOL. We know what the other one is thinking before they even think it. Neither of us have cheated on the other one, Just like Tam said
communication is the key. And having a loving,working relationship takes time , commitment and hard work. Anything in life that comes too easy prolly isn't worth much

And for the men... if you cheat or are cheating now just tell your gf's/wives. Don't let her think everythings okay when it's not. Yeah you'll prolly loose her but if you're cheating on her then you really don't care about her do you?