2 mice fell into a bucket of cream. the first one gave up struggling and died instantly. the second one struggled and struggled so hard that he turned the cream into butter and crawled out
Haha. Well, I'm interested in the quotes/phrases you know.. So by all means post them... Maybe take a break so it doesn't seem like you're trying to inflate too much. :P
Where did you get that? Is there a larger diatribe that it belongs to?
Herd-Instinct. Wherever we meet with a morality we find a valuation and order of rank of the human impulses and activities. These valuations and orders of rank are always the expression of the needs of a community or herd: that which is in the first place to its advantage - and in the second place and third place - is also the authoritative standard for the worth of every individual. By morality the individual is taught to become a function of the herd, and to ascribe to himself value only as a function. As the conditions for the maintenance of one community have been very different from those of another community, there have been very different moralities; and in respect to the future essential transformations of herds and communities, states and societies, one can prophesy that there will still be very divergent moralities. Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth - not going all the way, and not starting.
I learned a lot about women. I think I learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, "Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them." And Eve said, "Yeah... it's just not enough is it?"
A white rabit may show the dreamer the way to the inner spiritual world and as such act as a guide.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Often times I wonder why
There's love and hate, theres live or die.
When sickness comes I must decide:
When feelings go, theres suicide.
People deteriorate with age. Money earns interest.
"You don't need a college education to drive a cube truck and make up fake receipts." - Bret Stern on going to film school
"You are far weirder than someone merely into S&M. At least they have a tradition. We have some idea what S&M is about. There's movies and books about it. But so far as I know, there is nothing to explain the way you are."
Originally posted by PureMeds 2 mice fell into a bucket of cream. the first one gave up struggling and died instantly. the second one struggled and struggled so hard that he turned the cream into butter and crawled out
Originally posted by nofx Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
The saddest thing ive ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy forget it little friend
Woman is to PMS as man is to watching sports. You don't mess with either one of them while in the midst thereof.
"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!" Attributed to the last guy Paul Revere woke up.
Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer.
Puff puff GIVE!
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Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I'm living on a one-way dead end street. I don't know how I got there.
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright.
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
"One day a tiny spaceship landed and a couple 3 inch aliens came out. I said 'Hey are you guys really only 3 inches tall?' They said 'no, we're just really far away.'"
I spilled spot remover on my dog, and poof... he's gone!
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
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