Funniest email ever recieved by webmaster relations

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  • howard
    Confirmed User
    • Feb 2002
    • 1827
    #1

    Funniest email ever recieved by webmaster relations

    (I took the name out)


    Hello! My name is ***** ******. The user of this
    account and I need your help. I don't know a thing
    about making money on this website. I'm having a
    problem and I need to make at least $50,000 before the
    end of next month. I know you are probably saying that
    is alot of money. I am unable to work right now
    because of my back and I need some bills to be paid
    before June. I am asking you to please help me. I
    couldn't possibly generated those many sales. I have
    no money or job and I live with my mom for the time
    period. I need to have surgery on my back and my
    stomach. I have had a large amount of miscarriage last
    year and now it is difficult for me right now to live
    without any financial. I am not qualified for any
    government service such as welfare and the doctor says
    that I'm not qualified for disability because they
    can't tell whether it will be permanent. Please help
    me! I want to be able to have children and the stress
    that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need
    a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated
    at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all
    those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy,
    plus all my doctor bills already. My mother is slaving
    herself at her job and she has a problem with her back
    also. She went to the doctor this past Wednesday. I
    know that you don't know me but it is very important
    and I don't even know where to start to raise this
    kind of money. I am not qualified to receive a loan
    because I am not currently working and has no income
    whatsoever. Please help me! Thank you and have a
    blessed day!

    hahahahahahahaha=
    *******


    www.adultplex.com

    $37.50 per free 30 minute trial
    perkissmedia.com

    [email protected]
    318621803
    perkymon993 Skype
    Tags: None
    • Gary
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2001
      • 6110
      #2
      So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out.

      Up to 35$ per join...!

        Comment

        • Tala
          Fucked if I know
          • Dec 2002
          • 23368
          #3

          ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

            Comment

            • Reak
              So Fucking Banned
              • Mar 2003
              • 17920
              #4

                Comment

                • SleazyDream
                  I'm here for SPORT
                  • Jul 2001
                  • 41470
                  #5
                  obviously you don't have much of an affiliate program if all your people think they can make is $50K a month.....
                  This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

                  Now read without the word dog.

                    Comment

                    • Theo
                      HAL 9000
                      • May 2001
                      • 34515
                      #6
                      "I need a total of $834,750.00"

                        Comment

                        • Bryan Havoc
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2002
                          • 784
                          #7
                          Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.
                          Bryan Havoc // ICQ - 165029472
                          [email protected]
                          FreePaysiteCash.com

                            Comment

                            • Bryan Havoc
                              Confirmed User
                              • Aug 2002
                              • 784
                              #8
                              Seems to me like she's looking for a handout.

                              "I want to be able to have children and the stress
                              that I have been under. It will be impossible. I need
                              a total of $834,750.00, but please help me generated
                              at least $50,000. The correctional surgery from all
                              those miscarriages, my back and treatment and therapy,
                              plus all my doctor bills already"

                              Maybe now's not the time to be bringing a child into this world methinks.
                              Last edited by Bryan Havoc; 04-29-2003, 11:33 AM.
                              Bryan Havoc // ICQ - 165029472
                              [email protected]
                              FreePaysiteCash.com

                                Comment

                                • Kimmykim
                                  bitchslapping zebras!!!!!
                                  • Jun 2001
                                  • 16015
                                  #9
                                  Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.

                                    Comment

                                    • lEricPl
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Dec 2002
                                      • 1062
                                      #10
                                      Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore.

                                      Been fucked one too many times me thinks...

                                        Comment

                                        • Gary
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Aug 2001
                                          • 6110
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by lEricPl
                                          Back Surgery + Miscarriages + Living with Mom = Ragged out Street Whore.

                                          Been fucked one too many times me thinks...
                                          I would love to see what she would do with a 50K wire transfer. hehehe

                                          FUCK BACK SURGERY, IM GETTING WASTED!!!!

                                          Up to 35$ per join...!

                                            Comment

                                            • SteveLightspeed
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jul 2001
                                              • 7940
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Kimmykim
                                              Well, at least she didn't claim she was holding a few mil in Nigerian money that needed to be claimed.
                                              You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

                                              LS
                                              Abra-cadabra!

                                                Comment

                                                • Gary
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Aug 2001
                                                  • 6110
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Lightspeed


                                                  You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

                                                  LS
                                                  Dont feel bad, i fell for it 6 times. I thought i was really cleaning up. oh well

                                                  Up to 35$ per join...!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • howard
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Feb 2002
                                                      • 1827
                                                      #14
                                                      Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

                                                      ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

                                                      Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

                                                      He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

                                                      He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

                                                      It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

                                                      The father asked which site.

                                                      It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".


                                                      For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

                                                      Howard
                                                      www.adultplex.com
                                                      perkissmedia.com

                                                      [email protected]
                                                      318621803
                                                      perkymon993 Skype

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Tala
                                                          Fucked if I know
                                                          • Dec 2002
                                                          • 23368
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by howard
                                                          Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

                                                          ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

                                                          Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

                                                          He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

                                                          He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

                                                          It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

                                                          The father asked which site.

                                                          It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".


                                                          For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

                                                          Howard
                                                          www.adultplex.com

                                                          ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Gary
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Aug 2001
                                                              • 6110
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by howard
                                                              Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

                                                              ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

                                                              Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

                                                              He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

                                                              He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

                                                              It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

                                                              The father asked which site.

                                                              It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".


                                                              For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

                                                              Howard
                                                              www.adultplex.com
                                                              So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man.

                                                              Up to 35$ per join...!

                                                                Comment

                                                                • howard
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Feb 2002
                                                                  • 1827
                                                                  #17
                                                                  quote:
                                                                  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                  Originally posted by howard
                                                                  Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

                                                                  ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

                                                                  Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

                                                                  He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

                                                                  He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

                                                                  It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

                                                                  The father asked which site.

                                                                  It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".


                                                                  For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

                                                                  Howard
                                                                  www.adultplex.com
                                                                  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



                                                                  So, you guys outted his son? thats cold man.



                                                                  ************************************************


                                                                  Gary--I'm just in sales. That was from customer service. Look--they were just being honest!!! It's not cold if its the truth...
                                                                  perkissmedia.com

                                                                  [email protected]
                                                                  318621803
                                                                  perkymon993 Skype

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • buddyjuf
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Originally posted by howard
                                                                      I need a total of $834,750.00
                                                                      he wants a ferrari enzo, I can BET on it

                                                                      he has 200k, he needs 800k more,

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • detoxed
                                                                          vip member
                                                                          • Jan 2003
                                                                          • 17798
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Tell the person to get a job. If he/she is able to type that message out to you on a computer, they are able to do half the jobs in this country.

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • MCsteve-matrix
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Jan 2003
                                                                              • 341
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by howard
                                                                              Actually the funiest thing that ever happened was in our cutomer service office about 3 or 4 years ago.'

                                                                              ( now I did not take the call but here is what happened)

                                                                              Some older guy calls up to check out what Isupply was and what his credit card was billed for.

                                                                              He also stated that he doen never remember ordering anything from Isupply.

                                                                              He was then given the name of who put the charge through and he then admitted it was his son.

                                                                              It is then explained that the card was used to sign up for an adult site.

                                                                              The father asked which site.

                                                                              It was explained that it was a gay site"planetstud.com".


                                                                              For any dads out there--can you imagine that one???

                                                                              Howard
                                                                              www.adultplex.com
                                                                              at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.
                                                                              MC Steve

                                                                              Matrix Content - Contact me for special discounts! ICQ: 172308203
                                                                              Matrix Dollars

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Bryan Havoc
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                                                  • 784
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by MCsteve-matrix


                                                                                  another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.
                                                                                  I'd pay to hear that!
                                                                                  Bryan Havoc // ICQ - 165029472
                                                                                  [email protected]
                                                                                  FreePaysiteCash.com

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • sherie
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Feb 2002
                                                                                      • 7020
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
                                                                                      "I need a total of $834,750.00"
                                                                                      So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!!
                                                                                      AIM sherierocks
                                                                                      ICQ 127-296-286
                                                                                      Skype traffichor

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • howard
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                                          • 1827
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Matrix Man


                                                                                          at an old company i used to work for, that happened all the time. one of my friends went beyond the call of duty and informed a man's wife that he signed up at an incest site. i'm sure they were divorced shortly thereafter. another funny one was where the father of a underage son used his card at a site then proceed to beat him with the phone once he found out he used it.

                                                                                          ***********************************************

                                                                                          That's fucken classic!!

                                                                                          Someone should start a cable show or a website:

                                                                                          Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls---

                                                                                          it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!!

                                                                                          howard
                                                                                          adultplex.com
                                                                                          perkissmedia.com

                                                                                          [email protected]
                                                                                          318621803
                                                                                          perkymon993 Skype

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Sarah_Jayne
                                                                                              Now with more Jayne
                                                                                              • Dec 2002
                                                                                              • 40077
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              okay, really stupid to use your dad's card to sign up for a gay porn site but I hope the kid didn't get hurt and or kicked out after he was outted.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Theo
                                                                                                  HAL 9000
                                                                                                  • May 2001
                                                                                                  • 34515
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  lol sherie

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Wizzo
                                                                                                      2011 GFY Hall of Fame!
                                                                                                      • Nov 2000
                                                                                                      • 15224
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by Lightspeed


                                                                                                      You mean that Nigerian thing was a scam? Oh damn, NOW you tell me!!!

                                                                                                      LS
                                                                                                      Yea, but thanks for the money....
                                                                                                      Looking for Opportunity!

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • howard
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                                                          • 1827
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                                                          Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
                                                                                                          "I need a total of $834,750.00"


                                                                                                          --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                                          So do I, and that's just for shoes, shades and purses!!



                                                                                                          @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

                                                                                                          Hey Sherie,
                                                                                                          Ok--I can understand the shoes and handbags but the shades!! My X used to explain that you dress up or down each outfit by shoes and belts? But Shades? No comprende!!!

                                                                                                          You for got belts. I thought they can even cost more that the shoes!!!

                                                                                                          Howard


                                                                                                          www.adultplex.com

                                                                                                          $37.50 per free 30 minute trial
                                                                                                          perkissmedia.com

                                                                                                          [email protected]
                                                                                                          318621803
                                                                                                          perkymon993 Skype

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • MCsteve-matrix
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Jan 2003
                                                                                                              • 341
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              ***********************************************

                                                                                                              That's fucken classic!!

                                                                                                              Someone should start a cable show or a website:

                                                                                                              Funniest Porn Customer Service Calls---

                                                                                                              it could be the funniest show ever made!!!!!!!

                                                                                                              howard
                                                                                                              adultplex.com
                                                                                                              the best are when the husbands or sons are outted by a curious wife.
                                                                                                              MC Steve

                                                                                                              Matrix Content - Contact me for special discounts! ICQ: 172308203
                                                                                                              Matrix Dollars

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • NastyJack
                                                                                                                  Registered User
                                                                                                                  • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                  • 1291
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by apx_bryan
                                                                                                                  Believe me, we're trying to help her out as best we can, but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month...
                                                                                                                  Get her to model for you - I understand you guys can work magic with camaras!

                                                                                                                  If she's a dog work her behind.

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • pornguy
                                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                      • Mar 2003
                                                                                                                      • 62910
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      I love it when a woman sends an e-mail os something telling the girls in the site to stay away from her husband!!!


                                                                                                                      Like any of these models would look twice at someone who signed up!!!


                                                                                                                      Right??
                                                                                                                      PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic

                                                                                                                      AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online!
                                                                                                                      TChicks.com | Angeles Cid | Mariana Cordoba | MAILERS WELCOME!

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • lazycash
                                                                                                                          Troll Patrol
                                                                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                          • 15214
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Why don't you reply to her and tell she needs to do a site like www.savekaryn.com and put her sob story on the main page and hope enough caring people stop by.
                                                                                                                          "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams..

                                                                                                                          Its crazy..."

                                                                                                                          VenusBlogger

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • Bryan Havoc
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                              • 784
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              I'm sure savekaryn made out pretty damn well!
                                                                                                                              Bryan Havoc // ICQ - 165029472
                                                                                                                              [email protected]
                                                                                                                              FreePaysiteCash.com

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • Porn Mickey
                                                                                                                                  we all love porn
                                                                                                                                  • Nov 2001
                                                                                                                                  • 2840
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Gary
                                                                                                                                  So, dont be an ass, help the poor lady out.
                                                                                                                                  I can help her
                                                                                                                                  $150 SignUp Bonus

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Dildozer
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                                      • 7519
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      haha

                                                                                                                                      Speaking os savekaryn.com, she replied to Business 2.0 in the latest issue about having a contract to write a book + a movie coming out! LOL

                                                                                                                                      Damn why didn't i think of that first?
                                                                                                                                      Spam link here

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • MrPanama
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • Aug 2001
                                                                                                                                          • 815
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          ""Monday, April 28, 2003 - Today I came home from Minneapolis and wanted to chill out with a beer. So instead of going to a local bar and paying $5 for a bottle, my roommate and I bought two tall Bud cans from the corner store and kicked back outside in our backyard. The tall ones were only $1.50 - maybe $2. So I saved $3 at least!""

                                                                                                                                          haha...this karyn girl sounds like shes a real smart cookie
                                                                                                                                          MrPanama
                                                                                                                                          SUBMIT GALLERIES HERE

                                                                                                                                          Email: [email protected]
                                                                                                                                          ICQ# 76099000

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • Kimmykim
                                                                                                                                              bitchslapping zebras!!!!!
                                                                                                                                              • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                              • 16015
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • Matt 26z
                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                                                                                                                  • 18481
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by apx_bryan
                                                                                                                                                  but generating enough traffic as a total 100 percent newbie to make $50,000 by the end of the month... I'm not going to say impossible because as soon as I say something's impossible, somebody will prove me wrong, but it's highly unlikely.
                                                                                                                                                  $50k in 30 days starting from scratch? That is impossible.

                                                                                                                                                  On a $30 sponsor, you'd need about 55 signups a day. Even on a 1:250 signup ratio that's 13,750 sponsor hits per day. Then maybe a 0.005 banner clickthru rate, that comes out to 2,750,000 gallery hits needed daily.

                                                                                                                                                  No gallery maker in the world is pulling 55 signups daily, or even close to that.

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Bake
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 5916
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Just a sugestion for her maybe she could try closeing her legs
                                                                                                                                                      Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more.
                                                                                                                                                      Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per week

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • stocktrader23
                                                                                                                                                          Let's do some business.
                                                                                                                                                          • Jan 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 18781
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Matt 26z


                                                                                                                                                          $50k in 30 days starting from scratch? That is impossible.

                                                                                                                                                          On a $30 sponsor, you'd need about 55 signups a day. Even on a 1:250 signup ratio that's 13,750 sponsor hits per day. Then maybe a 0.005 banner clickthru rate, that comes out to 2,750,000 gallery hits needed daily.

                                                                                                                                                          No gallery maker in the world is pulling 55 signups daily, or even close to that.
                                                                                                                                                          I know one that pulls 150 signups a day.

                                                                                                                                                          Here's a hint.



                                                                                                                                                          Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life

                                                                                                                                                          "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • howard
                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 1827
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button.


                                                                                                                                                              **********************************************


                                                                                                                                                              KK--I need a how to post lesson. There is a quote button?
                                                                                                                                                              It took me a year to learn how to copy and paste?!!

                                                                                                                                                              howard
                                                                                                                                                              perkissmedia.com

                                                                                                                                                              [email protected]
                                                                                                                                                              318621803
                                                                                                                                                              perkymon993 Skype

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • funkmaster
                                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                                  • Sep 2001
                                                                                                                                                                  • 7938
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  "Dammit Howard, please learn to use the Quote button."

                                                                                                                                                                  ... yeah, damn it !

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Interlude
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                                                                      • 1147
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Most of our funny emails are along the lines of "I don't have any money, can you send me pics anyway?"

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

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