This guy was walking home from work one day when he saw a sign in the pet store window that said, "TALKING MONKEY, $50". The guy went inside and sure enough, the monkey could talk, so he bought him.
On the way home he asked the monkey for a favor. "I think my wife is cheating on me. I want you to follow her around all day tomorrow and come back at 5:30 and tell me what she does. You CAN tell time, can't you?"
The monkey points to his teeny watch and says, "I do, I do."
"Okay," says the man. "If you'll do that, I'll give you two bananas."
"Okay, I do! I do!" said the monkey excitedly.
Well, the man gets home at 5:30 and the monkey isn't there. 6:00, no monkey. 6:30, no monkey. Finally at 7:00 he hears a scratching at the door.
He opens it and the monkey is standing there, all battered and bruised. His little clothes are ripped, his watch is busted and his hat is missing.
"What happened!?" gasped the man.
The monkey says, "I follow wife. She get into car with man. They go to hotel. I climb up in tree so I can see!"
The monkey pauses so the man shrieks, "SO WHAT HAPPENED?"
The monkey thinks for a moment and says, "Well, he play with she and she play with he... I play with me and fall out of tree!"
