Movie casting for Porn Documentary

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  • VirtuMike
    Confirmed User
    • May 2002
    • 2483
    #1

    Movie casting for Porn Documentary

    I really should cast a movie based on my career in the porn biz.

    I would cast the following:

    Me: Brendan Fraser
    Dman: Woody Harrelson
    Amber and Rett: Too bad Audrey Hepburn's not around anymore... So we'll go with Jennifer Aniston and Marky Mark (just like rock star)
    Meir from Date.com: Seinfeld. Duh!
    Miss Bunny: Nicole Kidman of course!
    Al from Webpower: the dude that plays Charlie from Charlie's Angels (heard but never seen!)
    KMan: Jason Leigh or that dude from Van Wilder
    Seth: Joe Pesce
    The Porn Star I used to work with: Roseanne Barr or Howard Stern in drag...
    Dominic from Webpower: John Goodman
    Rick YNOT: Michael J. Fox
    Webfather: Richard Belzer
    RB: Tom Cruise
    The girls that keep appearing in my dreams: Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, Winona Ryder, and Elle Macpherson
    My ex girlfriend: that little hottie from Sports Night that was going out with the geek. MAN I loved that show.
    Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz

    What a movie that would be! Any more ideas?
    Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

    XYZZY4L
    Tags: None
    • pornJester
      Confirmed User
      • Mar 2001
      • 6138
      #2
      Tom Cruise could play me


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        • pornJester
          Confirmed User
          • Mar 2001
          • 6138
          #3
          Originally posted by pornJester
          Tom Cruise could play me
          shit, RB already got tom, hmmm, maybe vin diesel can play me then

          also...

          Lensman: Mel Gibson
          Serge: Sean Connery
          Last edited by pornJester; 01-26-2003, 03:52 AM.


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            • VirtuMike
              Confirmed User
              • May 2002
              • 2483
              #4
              Think DiCaprio.

              Yeah I could see Gibson as Lens and Connery as Serge. But it would have to be a combination of Connery in Red October and Connery as Indiana Jones' dad. Maybe with the dialog written by a pro wrestler.
              Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

              XYZZY4L

                Comment

                • Scootermuze
                  Confirmed User
                  • Dec 2001
                  • 4513
                  #5
                  As fun of a post as this may be.. you could possibly be onto somethin.. probably not with the cast as desired, but someone with a little creativity and follow-through could do somethin with that idea.

                  Perhaps not a box office hit, but, "The Life Of...." , done up right, could make good at some of the film fests..

                  Ok... more coffee fer me!!

                    Comment

                    • VirtuMike
                      Confirmed User
                      • May 2002
                      • 2483
                      #6
                      Oh yeah, and I left out Shanaia Twain. I want her in there somewhere. Maybe as my third grade teacher. That would explain a great many things about the way I turned out.

                      Hmmmm... or a lesbian gym teacher.
                      Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                      XYZZY4L

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                        • Tanker
                          Confirmed User
                          • Nov 2000
                          • 9287
                          #7
                          I would be played by ricky schroader

                          LOL

                          Tanker
                          ICQ 3427575

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                            • Sarah_Jayne
                              Now with more Jayne
                              • Dec 2002
                              • 40077
                              #8
                              Originally posted by VirtuMike
                              I really should cast a movie based on my career in the porn biz.

                              I would cast the following:


                              KMan: Jason Leigh or that dude from Van Wilder

                              What a movie that would be! Any more ideas?

                              Jason would get me there on his own *hubba hubba*

                                Comment

                                • Jakke PNG
                                  ex-TeenGodFather
                                  • Nov 2001
                                  • 20306
                                  #9
                                  ..too bad john candy won't be around to play me.
                                  ..and I'm off.

                                    Comment

                                    • VirtuMike
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • May 2002
                                      • 2483
                                      #10
                                      HAHAHA Ricky Schroeder. That's good casting. Either that or Spank the Monkey from Son of the Beach.

                                      And starring Anthony Michael Hall as Lightspeed!


                                      HAHAHA just had a thought, we're like porn's Brat Pack.
                                      Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                      XYZZY4L

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                                        • Zebra
                                          Banned from Kimmy's couch
                                          • Oct 2001
                                          • 5091
                                          #11
                                          Anthony Edwards from ER could play me.
                                          Bruce Willis could play JoeE.
                                          Goldberg could play BT

                                          I always thought Yakov Smirnov would make a good Serge.
                                          Old School

                                            Comment

                                            • SteveLightspeed
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jul 2001
                                              • 7940
                                              #12
                                              Charlie Sheen could play me, I hear he has a cheerleader fetish too.

                                              Steve Lightspeed
                                              Abra-cadabra!

                                                Comment

                                                • Jizar II
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • May 2001
                                                  • 1425
                                                  #13
                                                  Tom Green should be casted as the famous "AbuckOr2"...

                                                    Comment

                                                    • SleazyDream
                                                      I'm here for SPORT
                                                      • Jul 2001
                                                      • 41470
                                                      #14
                                                      The Rock could play me if he buffed up a bit before the film.
                                                      This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

                                                      Now read without the word dog.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • FreeNetPass Dave
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                          • 270
                                                          #15
                                                          Lensman played by Cory Feldman.






                                                          Last edited by FreeNetPass Dave; 01-26-2003, 01:28 PM.
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                                                            • Manny The Freak
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Oct 2002
                                                              • 1503
                                                              #16
                                                              You would play the fat old pervert.

                                                                Comment

                                                                • RRRED
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jan 2001
                                                                  • 6754
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Ricky Schroeder ROFLMAO

                                                                  Nice one, Tanker...

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • VirtuMike
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • May 2002
                                                                      • 2483
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Yeah, I think Bruce Willis as Joe E and Goldberg as BT would be perfect.

                                                                      Yakov Smirnov as Serge is also perfect.

                                                                      I want to fit Gary Coleman in there somehow. Maybe as Silverstein. HAHAHAHA

                                                                      Emilio Estevez as Epoch Clay

                                                                      The dude that played Pig Vomit from Howard Stern Private Parts as Epoch Rand. Please don't beat me in Jamaica for that I'm kidding...

                                                                      John Larroquette as CCBill Ron

                                                                      Pretty much any Bond girl can play Tanya from Good Thinxxx
                                                                      Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                      XYZZY4L

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                                                                        • LAJ
                                                                          Gingerific
                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                          • 5567
                                                                          #19
                                                                          VirtuMike... are you serious with this shit?? Dude... you suck at casting.
                                                                          YNOT.com - The original industry resource
                                                                          email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • VirtuMike
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • May 2002
                                                                              • 2483
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Are you kidding me?

                                                                              These are GREAT castings...

                                                                              And playing LAJ we have either Carrot Top or Seth Green.
                                                                              Last edited by VirtuMike; 01-29-2003, 07:33 AM.
                                                                              Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                              XYZZY4L

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                                                                                • pornJester
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Mar 2001
                                                                                  • 6138
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  I think Kevin Bacon would make a good Lightspeed


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                                                                                    • LAJ
                                                                                      Gingerific
                                                                                      • Jun 2001
                                                                                      • 5567
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Good choice porn Jester.

                                                                                      Virtumike... your head is buried deep within the colon. Alright I'll bite back... Jarod before he discovered Subway could play a damn good Virtumike.
                                                                                      YNOT.com - The original industry resource
                                                                                      email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • VirtuMike
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • May 2002
                                                                                          • 2483
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          LAJ, I take back taking back that thing I said about your mother.
                                                                                          Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                                          XYZZY4L

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                                                                                            • Brujah
                                                                                              Beer Money Baron
                                                                                              • Jan 2001
                                                                                              • 22157
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              That would rock.. someone write the book first though.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • ElvisManson
                                                                                                  Looking California
                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                  • 5476
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Hey Virtu Mike,

                                                                                                  i think getting an Elvis Impersonator to play you would be better...lol

                                                                                                  Now where is that damn pic I have of you in a elvis costume...

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • dacash
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jul 2002
                                                                                                      • 609
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      You forgot to cast El Nino
                                                                                                      ____________
                                                                                                      Marc

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                                                                                                        • jreaka
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Mar 2002
                                                                                                          • 1096
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Toodamnfli looks a little like Gary Coleman!
                                                                                                          Last edited by jreaka; 01-29-2003, 08:12 AM.

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • Zebra
                                                                                                              Banned from Kimmy's couch
                                                                                                              • Oct 2001
                                                                                                              • 5091
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Gary Coleman as SixNine!
                                                                                                              Old School

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • VirtuMike
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • May 2002
                                                                                                                  • 2483
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  HAHAHA fucking Gary Coleman on 8 foot stilts as SixNine!

                                                                                                                  Try Minut Bol maybe. That dude is like the tallest webmaster in the game.

                                                                                                                  Whatchoo talkin bout VirtuMike?
                                                                                                                  Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                                                                  XYZZY4L

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Cheshire
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                      • 5738
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      I'd want to be played by Charo


                                                                                                                      just a little bit naughty

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • VirtuMike
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • May 2002
                                                                                                                          • 2483
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Charo?
                                                                                                                          Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                                                                          XYZZY4L

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                                                                                                                            • Eric
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Dec 2000
                                                                                                                              • 8818
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              I am going to go with Joaquin Phoenix for myself. What do you guys think?


                                                                                                                              Him


                                                                                                                              Me
                                                                                                                              Last edited by Eric; 01-30-2003, 11:35 AM.
                                                                                                                              No One

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                                                                                                                                • KC
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jan 1995
                                                                                                                                  • 2417
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Seth would be played by Macaulay Culkin
                                                                                                                                  Fantasyman would be played by Joe Pesci
                                                                                                                                  Chris aka Pornoman would be played by Brad Pitt

                                                                                                                                  Jupiter Hosting, Inc.
                                                                                                                                  Vice President, Business Development
                                                                                                                                  kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

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                                                                                                                                    • Cheshire
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                                      • 5738
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by VirtuMike
                                                                                                                                      Charo?
                                                                                                                                      Yes?


                                                                                                                                      just a little bit naughty

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • KC
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • Jan 1995
                                                                                                                                          • 2417
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Cheshire
                                                                                                                                          Yes?
                                                                                                                                          What about Zsa Zsa Gabor?

                                                                                                                                          Jupiter Hosting, Inc.
                                                                                                                                          Vice President, Business Development
                                                                                                                                          kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

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                                                                                                                                            • haggard
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2003
                                                                                                                                              • 469
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz

                                                                                                                                              LOL! that would match so good.
                                                                                                                                              <img src="http://home.hawaii.rr.com/hobble/robman2.jpg">
                                                                                                                                              the bossman cometh...

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                                                                                                                                                • KC
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • Jan 1995
                                                                                                                                                  • 2417
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Brad Shaw would be played by Stephen Baldwin

                                                                                                                                                  Jupiter Hosting, Inc.
                                                                                                                                                  Vice President, Business Development
                                                                                                                                                  kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

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                                                                                                                                                    • Cheshire
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 5738
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by KC
                                                                                                                                                      What about Zsa Zsa Gabor?
                                                                                                                                                      Pre or Post cop slapping?


                                                                                                                                                      just a little bit naughty

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • Kimmykim
                                                                                                                                                          bitchslapping zebras!!!!!
                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                                          • 16015
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Mike Myers would be the perfect 'lensman in miami in his blue suit' body double...

                                                                                                                                                          I'd like to see dick van patten playing someone...

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • kristin
                                                                                                                                                              GOO!
                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 9768
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              VirtuMike would be Chief Wiggum <-- that's for not including me on your list!!!
                                                                                                                                                              Vacares rules.

                                                                                                                                                              "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

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                                                                                                                                                                • KC
                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Jan 1995
                                                                                                                                                                  • 2417
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Cheshire
                                                                                                                                                                  Pre or Post cop slapping?
                                                                                                                                                                  Hmm...

                                                                                                                                                                  Maybe you can be Pre Slapping..

                                                                                                                                                                  and KimmyKim can be Post Slapping Zsa Zsa! ;)

                                                                                                                                                                  Jupiter Hosting, Inc.
                                                                                                                                                                  Vice President, Business Development
                                                                                                                                                                  kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

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                                                                                                                                                                    • SinEmpire
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Nov 2001
                                                                                                                                                                      • 9813
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      I can't believe you cast yourself as Brendan Frasier...
                                                                                                                                                                      President at MojoHost | brad at mojohost dot com | Skype MojoHostBrad
                                                                                                                                                                      71 industry awards for hosting and professional excellence since 1999

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                                                                                                                                                                        • Zebra
                                                                                                                                                                          Banned from Kimmy's couch
                                                                                                                                                                          • Oct 2001
                                                                                                                                                                          • 5091
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Mike cast the gay Brendon Frasier from "Gods & Monsters" as himself
                                                                                                                                                                          Old School

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                            • SykkBoy2
                                                                                                                                                                              Jesus loves bacon
                                                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                                                                              • 19969
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              hmmm, SykkBoy cast with long hair, dredlocks or short hair?
                                                                                                                                                                              bah, Gary Oldman could do all of them, he's a bit old for the part but is one of the greatest actors of all time...

                                                                                                                                                                              Fairuza Balk would play my wife...although if they did that, I would be up for playing myself....an there would be a lot more sex scenes and nudity in the movie....
                                                                                                                                                                              Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

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                                                                                                                                                                                • VirtuMike
                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • May 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 2483
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  The dude from Smashing Pumpkins would make an excellent KC

                                                                                                                                                                                  I'm still on Yakov Smirnoff as Serge.

                                                                                                                                                                                  WHAT A COUNTRY!
                                                                                                                                                                                  Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                                                                                                                                  XYZZY4L

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                                                                                                                                                                                    • TheGoldenChild
                                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                      • May 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 6940
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      Me? Nick Cage......all the way!

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                                                                                                                                                                                        • VirtuMike
                                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                          • May 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                          • 2483
                                                                                                                                                                                          #47
                                                                                                                                                                                          Dick Van Patton could be Hank AKA Mr. Skin... Or we could use Sherman Helmsley... They have very similar personalities...

                                                                                                                                                                                          WEEZIE!
                                                                                                                                                                                          Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES!

                                                                                                                                                                                          XYZZY4L

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                                                                                                                                                                                            • Rand
                                                                                                                                                                                              Industry Vet
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                              • 2663
                                                                                                                                                                                              #48
                                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by VirtuMike
                                                                                                                                                                                              Yeah, I think Bruce Willis as Joe E and Goldberg as BT would be perfect.

                                                                                                                                                                                              Emilio Estevez as Epoch Clay

                                                                                                                                                                                              The dude that played Pig Vomit from Howard Stern Private Parts as Epoch Rand. Please don't beat me in Jamaica for that I'm kidding...

                                                                                                                                                                                              John Larroquette as CCBill Ron
                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL! This thread is funny as hell. And Mike.... I won't kick your as this time. I guess I kind-of see the resemblance actually. Depsite the sick name. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                                              -- Rand


                                                                                                                                                                                              Payment Industry - Communications - Quality Assurance

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                                                                                                                                                                                                • Rand
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Industry Vet
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • 2663
                                                                                                                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Not seein' the resemblance here though 'bro.



                                                                                                                                                                                                  -- Rand


                                                                                                                                                                                                  Payment Industry - Communications - Quality Assurance

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    • kaylacam
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • 2745
                                                                                                                                                                                                      #50
                                                                                                                                                                                                      I can TOTALLY see Miss Bunny being played by Nicole Kidman! GREAT choice!
                                                                                                                                                                                                      SPANK!
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Kayla Quinn
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