Radio sex contest -- I nearly shit myself
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they
award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJ's
call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved
with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3
random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to
divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification.
If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both
win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the
City of Big Shoulders drop to it's knees with laughter. Anyway, here's
how it went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."
DJ: "Great! then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida
if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I'm married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice".
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us
for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "ATTA boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's
work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of
commercials
follow.)
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
(touchtones..ringing...)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now
and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the the
rules of "Mate Match"?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be of to
Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to
the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away
from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: "She saw?"
Sarah: "BRIAN?!"
Brian: "No, no I didn't..."
DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer
please?"
Sarah: "Dear Lord... I cannot believe you told them this."
Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."
DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"
Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)
DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."
(3 minutes later)
DJ: "I am sorry for that, ladies and gentlemen. This is a live radio
show and these things do happen from time to time. Anyway, Brian and
Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida."
award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJ's
call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved
with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3
random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to
divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification.
If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both
win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the
City of Big Shoulders drop to it's knees with laughter. Anyway, here's
how it went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."
DJ: "Great! then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida
if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I'm married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice".
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us
for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "ATTA boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's
work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of
commercials
follow.)
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
(touchtones..ringing...)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now
and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the the
rules of "Mate Match"?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If
your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be of to
Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to
the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away
from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: "She saw?"
Sarah: "BRIAN?!"
Brian: "No, no I didn't..."
DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer
please?"
Sarah: "Dear Lord... I cannot believe you told them this."
Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."
DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"
Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)
DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."
(3 minutes later)
DJ: "I am sorry for that, ladies and gentlemen. This is a live radio
show and these things do happen from time to time. Anyway, Brian and
Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida."
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