Got this in my email funniest one i've read in a while...
IF MEN WROTE ADVICE PAGES
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is
only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend.
Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not
get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If
you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he
loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a
day: then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean
the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it
do it in your own time or ask your best friend
to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it
to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral
sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and
time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no
pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your
man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the
mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing
oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without
giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
him a nice meal.
IF MEN WROTE ADVICE PAGES
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is
only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend.
Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not
get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If
you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he
loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a
day: then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean
the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it
do it in your own time or ask your best friend
to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it
to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral
sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and
time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no
pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your
man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the
mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing
oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without
giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
him a nice meal.
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