need some parental advice...

Talk with the principle/teacher and find out who their parents are. Talk with them. If they are not concerned or you feel they are not detering their children from bullying your kid then hint legal action. If they scoff at that then follow it up with a letter from your lawyer. If at that point they apologize and agree to have their child stop bullying your child then accept their apology. And or continue with the lawsuit. Make sure that the other parents of the bullies know about this.

When I was a child I was very small and had a bum leg. Because we were a military family I switched schools a lot and that meant new bullies. I'd usually pick out the biggest kid on the playground and attacked him. Yes I'd get hurt in the process but I never had problems after the initial engagement; moreover, I became friends with a lot of kids.

The trouble nowadays is that I know that children even that young are carrying weapons to school and or have access to them. I think talking this issue over with the other kids' parents is a good (and adult) way to begin. If they don't want to be good parents then make an example of one of them. Legally of course. This will teach your son that brains are more important than brawn and that he should always be the better 'man.'

Good luck.

This is excellent advice.

Kids need to learn how to fight their own battles, you can't protect them with lawyers and principals forever.

My son is 11 now. Going into Junior High next year. I'm a strong believer in never starting a fight, but if someone hits me first then they'd better watch out. This is what I've taught my son.

Basically only one time has he ever had to fight. It was at a ChuckECheeses, and a kid twice as big as him pushed him down hard for no reason and with no warning... pushed him right in the chest, you know... the kind that knocks the wind out of you... Anyways, my son's face turned beat red, looked like he was gonna start bawling... turned and looked at me, I had witnessed it, I didn't say a word I just looked at the other kid in disbelief...*this all happened so fast, btw* Next thing I know, my son popped the other kid hard in the cheek and this kid who was twice as big went flat on his back and ran away crying.

I told my son, that the only reason that he wasn't going to get in trouble was because the other kid pushed him first... very hard, and that under any other circunstances he would be in big trouble, and I made him believe me, too.

Just then this little short man comes storming up to me yelling how I couldn't let my son do that, yadda yadda yadda... I looked him square in the eye and told him that his son had pushed my son first... that I had seen it... Instantly I saw in his eyes the guy picturing his son doing just that, since he knew his kid was a troublemaker, he got so frustrated and turned and yelled at his son that he was grounded... he knew I wasn't making it up.

Point is, some kids are the type that bully no matter what, and they get what they deserve. Sadly, when you are dealing wioth someone who is a bully, the only way to get there attention is with a taste of their own medicine... but it works.

Now, my son gets respect from other kids because he won't let other's bully him... not because he fights all the time, *because he doesn't* but because he isn't afraid to put a bully in his place if need be, and the bullies can tell, so they leave him alone... this is how karate or something similar can help. My son never took any self defense type classes, but he learned the same type of confidence from other sports like baseball... and that one time at ChuckECheese...

I guess sometimes life is just going to happen... It happened to us when we were kids, and there is nothing we can do except deal with it as it happens.

just my

turbo

Something to look forward to, my first child, a boy, was just born on the 6th....

I agree with the Karate comment someone made... having that kind of confiedence and mental toughness and the discipline not to abuse it is a great combination. Make sure the intructor you sign him up with isn't hell bent on making little miniature Steven Seagal's

Good luck...

Guess you are right. It's been a long time since I last had to deal with such things. I'd still try and talk with their parents, maybe I was a bit emotional suggesting legal action.

Amp I would love to give some of my parental advice to you

If your son was my kid (my opinion) I would let him open a can of 1,000 yr. old whoopass. You know what your son is capable of. If you think he can handle it then I think he should. If he's not then try the talking.

If someone was picking on my kids, I go down there myself and boot their ass rtfo.

But thats just my parenting

As a mother myself I can say I have been there and done this! My son is twenty now, Thank GOD, and out on his own.
But we had our moments.
what i would do is:
I would go to the school check out the situation for myself. Get a look at the kids doing it. Try to do that without embarassing your child (kind of hard to do)
Do everything you can possible do to build his self esteem. Enroll him in karate , tai (whatever) and dont say to him, your gonna take karate so you can kick some ass. Explain to him these classes will be fun and he may meet some cool friends there. Martial Arts will boost a persons image and teach him how to get out of situations with limited force.

Try to have alot of activities, take him and his friends out, let them hang out alot. He needs more friends. Bullies usually pick on the loners.
I remember pulling up to pick up my son at a arcade and two black boys and a mexican were getting ready to make mince meat out of him. I fucking freaked out and almost ran over them, then jumped out of the car and told him since its out numbered i'll take his back LOL well that freaked him out because i am "MOM"
The guys did back off tho ,,but he told me he would of rather had the ass whippin

any way that is my

hehe or you can always fly back to the mainland and give daddy a visit (if the kids can't work it out that is ;) )

Well!!!! I'm going through this with my daughter. I have told her repeatedly to stick up for herself, but she just wont. My advice I have said to her, is...


Tell them, if they continue you're going to shove your foot up their ass, and if you can't do it...your mother will!!! She of course wont follow my advice.

Last year there was a one armed child on the bus, who contstantly hit my daughter..she never faught back. We called school several times and eventually it took my ex husband telling the school that if they didn't control it, he would follow the bus til he found where this kid lived and he would no longer be the only one in that family with one arm. Kid was expelled...problem solved.

This year, she's a little better and I think she's getting a little tougher. A few weeks ago she came home crying, saying one of the boys on the bus bent her fingers all the way back. He only lives down on the next block and I do know his mother. So, off we marched. His sister came to the door and I asked where he was. When he came, I asked him what happened and he said he was just playing...so then I yelled at him. I told him if he so much as touches a hair on her head she had FULL permission to kick, bite, punch, slap, stab with her pencil or do whatever she had to do to keep him away from her. He has not bothered her since.

Suggestion, talk to school...tell them it needs to stop and exactly who the kids are. Get their parents phone numbers. Lastly, tell your son it's okay to defend himself and he should, IF he has to. But mere words don't mean anything, they're just words. Naturally it's best to turn the other cheek, but not to stand there if someone is pushing them around.

Boys are probably better for telling them to kick ass. My daughter is reserved and shy...she doesn't want to fight, and she shouldn't have to...as your son shouldn't either. But..sometimes it's unavoidable.

I would also tell school that if they and the parents of the children can not control them, then your son has your permission to fight back.

Just my

i need a visual. why don't you post his picture?

I always swore to myself that if my sons problems at school got any worse, i would pull him and put him in a private school, or home school him. Well it happened, He was KICKED out for carrying a pocket knife. He was in FFA and all the boys carried them. "Its a good ole boy thing". I wasnt too upset about it. It was better for him in the end.

Amp-

Seems like I am giving all kinds of advise to you tonight. I am pretty familiar with martial arts and have competed for quite some time.

I think it's small mans syndrome, I do martial and powerlifting. If there is a Gracie-style dojo in your area, that would teach him the essentials of stopping a dude cold in his tracks without all the punching.

Avoid Tae Kwon Do at all costs, it's a wonderful artform, but it is a competition art form, not a true karate self defense system. Mui Tai is to advanced right now for him. The other good martial art for him would be Hap Ki Do...it is another fighting wrestling martial arts.

I been in plenty of fights, and was a wrestler in high school and college, and we both know all fights usually end up on the ground, and if you can inflict damage there systematicaly, it makes for a short fight...hence Gracie style Brazilian Jui Jitzu or Hap Ki do...you and I both know if a guy fucks with you and you know in your heart you can break his bunny butt in two, the other guy senses that confidence and usually backs away. Saves alot of fights...just stare at them and say "come on"...you usually have very few fights, even as a kid.

opening a can of whoopass doesnt do anything these days.... No matter what the age, it will turn into a 3 on 1 or an older brother beating up your kid, Not worth it

Pipe-

If you learn Brazilian Jui Jitzu size doesn't matter....I use Carlton Gracie's dojo in Chicago...hell his brother who weighs 160 lbs dripping wet just beat the shit out that big russian UFC guy who was in the 350 lb area...pressure points are pressure points....you elbow can only take 18 lbs of stress, knee 22 lbs...etc.

Hell, usually if you just stand up for yourself, people will find someone who won't stand up for themselves to pick on.

Same thing happen to my step son when he was in the 2nd grade. I got a pair of boxing gloves. Got down on my
knees and taught the kid how to box 1st.... Told him don't be jumping up and down moving around just get in your
stanch... Taught him how to punch and counter punch the *RIGHT* way with a slit twist of the wrist as the punch
lands. Told him and made sure he understood he was going to get hit and hit in the nose... Told him he had to shack
it off... Jan was a real quit kid and very bright... Well his mother got a call from his teacher about 4 or 5 days after
the 2nd boxing lesson.... She wanted to know what happened to little Jan. (He kicked ass and was never bothered again at that school) Just make sure the kid knows how to *BOX* and knows how to the *RIGTH*way if you don't know how to teach him have someone do it. Very important the kid knows he's doing to get hit and he has to stand in there and take the punches... because as soon as he hits the other hit in the nose 2 or 3 times Fight over... Taught him some street fighting later on...

Amp,

A can of whoopass would be nice but it won't work if your kid is a natural born pussy. Remember the little fuck that used to be in your class when you were in school? Imagine him trying to fight the kids that beat on him? He'd get beaten harder.

Gun - it'll work but your kid will end up in some juvenille facility for awhile

Reason - definitaley won't work. Kids don't give a fuck about it

The thing is, what he chooses to do does affect who he will become as a man. I remember being a kid and people telling me that what I did as a kid wasn't important because I would grow out of it, but they were wrong on one thing. What you do when you're young does shape your character.

If I had lost every fight and had been turned down by every chick I grew up with I'd be a fucking loser today with no self esteem. But I won just enough fights and fucked just enough girls to build the confidence that so permeates my being today.

I just saw Gracie lose to a Japanese fellow. Earlier today I downloaded some UFC clips.

While Judo is great, and I studied it myself, it becomes very ineffective if you find yourself in a 2:1 situation.
Judo is really the ultimate fighting style for 1:1 fighting only.
With that said being out numbered in a fight always sucks and puts you at a serious disadvantage.

I think this is good advice. I too had to confront bullies in school as I too was a military brat and changed schools all to frequently. I was an unhappy camper until I took it upon myself to have the courage to fight back. Winning or losing is not the key, the key is to fight back, each and everytime a bully confronts you. It was my experience that fighting back one time was usually enough to get the bully/bullies to leave me alone. One bully I did have to fight three different times, but he too left me alone. You do also acquire additional friendships. I would advise giving the peacful suggestions a shot first.

You need to give him some sort of advantage that he can't get in trouble for.

What used to work wonders in fights when I was young was when kids would wear heavy work-style boots or cowboy boots with the steel tips on them.

One kick to the groin and they will be on the ground. Now your son is free to wreak havoc on them as they lie in pain. Kicking in the ribs would be best because once a teacher comes up to break up the fight they won't see much damage. If he wants to prove a point, tell him to kick them in the face.

I'm not just saying that to try to be funny, I've seen the effectiveness of this technique firsthand. All it takes is some ugly ass boots and the will to kick.

A lot cheaper and quicker than Judo lessons.

the most effective form of self defence is confidence. find a way to teach your kid to take back his power. those bullies have been playing with it far too long.

The problem with Karate is that they teach you to fight by certain "rules". It's great for sport, but usually not very effective in a real fight where there are no rules...

I took UFC style fighitng (grappling, low kicks, elbows, etc) and within 3 months I could easily beat black belts in Karate (and I sucked compared to most guys in my class)

UFC style fighting is WAY more effective and within a few months your son could learn enough to be very confident if he did have to deal with a confrontation.....

8 years old might seem young, but if you put him in the right school, they will teach him how to use it and more importantly, when to use it and he won't come out of it acting like a bully....

Just the confidence he'll gain will keep him OUT of most fights....