I have a dead body I need to get rid of.

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  • Smack dat
    So Fucking Banned
    • Jul 2016
    • 4613
    #1

    I have a dead body I need to get rid of.

    I have a question and I am hoping one of my GFY friends can provide an answer (legally speaking).

    So, I have a dead body in my house and I can't afford a funeral . Can I legally bury the body in the woods at the back of my house or perhaps tie some bricks to the body and commit the body to the nearby lake.

    I am unsure what to do, it's been here about 24 hours now and I know I can't leave it here.

    By the way, the death was natural causes.
    Tags: None
    • Mr Pheer
      So Fucking Banned
      • Dec 2002
      • 22082
      #2
      Dig a hole, cover it with Lime if you want it preserved up to 6 months.

        Comment

        • SilentKnight
          Megan Fox's fluffer
          • Oct 2005
          • 24812
          #3
          Get a Taxidermy For Dummies book.

            Comment

            • Smack dat
              So Fucking Banned
              • Jul 2016
              • 4613
              #4
              Originally posted by Mr Pheer
              Dig a hole, cover it with Lime if you want it preserved up to 6 months.
              So, you are saying I can bury the body myself?
              I'm not interested in preserving it ffs. I just want it gone. Unless lime will bring it back to life of course.

                Comment

                • Smack dat
                  So Fucking Banned
                  • Jul 2016
                  • 4613
                  #5
                  Originally posted by SilentKnight
                  Get a Taxidermy For Dummies book.
                  What's takidermy and why would I need a taxi?

                    Comment

                    • HairyChick
                      Slowly dying
                      • Sep 2012
                      • 3091
                      #6
                      The police would take it away and if no one claims the body, the city or town arranges the funeral.

                      Do it fast or the smell will bring animals and the police officially

                      How you can buy calm with a dead body in your home is deranged.
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                        Comment

                        • Mr Pheer
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Dec 2002
                          • 22082
                          #7
                          Originally posted by Smack dat
                          So, you are saying I can bury the body myself?
                          Do whatever you want with it, I don't care.

                            Comment

                            • CaptainHowdy
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Dec 2004
                              • 94034
                              #8
                              Try cooking it: 25 minutes per pound at 350 degrees F.

                                Comment

                                • EddyTheDog
                                  Just Doing My Own Thing
                                  • Jan 2011
                                  • 25433
                                  #9
                                  Put it on Craig's List - You are bound to find someone who wants to fuck it, eat it or fuck it then eat it...

                                    Comment

                                    • Smack dat
                                      So Fucking Banned
                                      • Jul 2016
                                      • 4613
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by PamWinterReturns
                                      The police would take it away and if no one claims the body, the city or town arranges the funeral.

                                      Do it fast or the smell will bring animals and the police officially

                                      How you can buy calm with a dead body in your home is deranged.
                                      Thanks but I live out of town and have no way of contacting the police.
                                      Would I be able to do my Own funeral?

                                      What do you mean, buy calm?

                                      Everyone dies.

                                        Comment

                                        • Smack dat
                                          So Fucking Banned
                                          • Jul 2016
                                          • 4613
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by EddyTheDog
                                          Put it on Craig's List - You are bound to find someone who wants to fuck it, eat it or fuck it then eat it...
                                          Dude, this is my fucking grand mama we are taking about.

                                            Comment

                                            • Mr Pheer
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Dec 2002
                                              • 22082
                                              #12
                                              Put it in an Amazon box by your front door. Someone will come steal it.

                                                Comment

                                                • Helix
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Feb 2002
                                                  • 6021
                                                  #13
                                                  Nevermind

                                                    Comment

                                                    • CaptainHowdy
                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                      • Dec 2004
                                                      • 94034
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Helix
                                                      Nevermind
                                                      Best answer so far .

                                                        Comment

                                                        • King Mark
                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                          • Aug 2016
                                                          • 27031
                                                          #15
                                                          Get a job, you won't have these problems.

                                                          Anyway, just put it/her outside. Nature food.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Kittens
                                                              👏 REVOLUTIONARY 👏
                                                              • Jan 2016
                                                              • 1440
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                              Thanks but I live out of town and have no way of contacting the police.
                                                              Would I be able to do my Own funeral?

                                                              What do you mean, buy calm?

                                                              Everyone dies.
                                                              Something fishy going on here. You have no way of contacting police, yet you're on GFY?

                                                                Comment

                                                                • CurrentlySober
                                                                  Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                                  • 38947
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                  Dude, this is my fucking grand mama we are taking about.
                                                                  All the more reason to in that case. I mean, you've always wanted too, now's your chance, and you aint gonna get another are you?

                                                                  YOLO 'n all that...


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                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • blackmonsters
                                                                      Making PHP work
                                                                      • Nov 2002
                                                                      • 20999
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Hide the body in your dick; nobody ever found that.

                                                                      Your neighbor will murder you with frogs
                                                                      Click here

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • CaptainHowdy
                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                          • Dec 2004
                                                                          • 94034
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by blackmonsters
                                                                          Hide the body in your dick; nobody ever found that.

                                                                          . . .

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Smack dat
                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                              • Jul 2016
                                                                              • 4613
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by Kittens
                                                                              Something fishy going on here. You have no way of contacting police, yet you're on GFY?
                                                                              When I say I have no way of contacting the police what I actually mean is there is no way I am contacting the police.
                                                                              I am wanted for a crime I didn't commit.

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Smack dat
                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                  • Jul 2016
                                                                                  • 4613
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                                                  All the more reason to in that case. I mean, you've always wanted too, now's your chance, and you aint gonna get another are you?

                                                                                  YOLO 'n all that...
                                                                                  You are right about that but honestly, my friend has been spending time with her and I don't like the way he always thinks he is better than me.

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • CurrentlySober
                                                                                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                      • 38947
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                                      I am wanted for a crime I didn't commit.
                                                                                      Have you considered escaping into the Los Angeles Underground?


                                                                                      👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • R3d1ct
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • May 2019
                                                                                          • 30
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Barbed wire > river/lake.


                                                                                          Burning seems easiest.
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                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Smack dat
                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                              • Jul 2016
                                                                                              • 4613
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                                                              Have you considered escaping into the Los Angeles Underground?
                                                                                              My friend and I were talking about becoming soldiers of Fortune.

                                                                                              John Fortune is my other friend. We don't talk about him because he is a bit weird. Ex-military and all that.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • CurrentlySober
                                                                                                  Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                                                                  • 38947
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                                                  My friend and I were talking about becoming soldiers of Fortune.

                                                                                                  John Fortune is my other friend. We don't talk about him because he is a bit weird. Ex-military and all that.
                                                                                                  Understood - You'd probably have some difficulty finding him anyway...


                                                                                                  👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Smack dat
                                                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                      • Jul 2016
                                                                                                      • 4613
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                                                                      Understood - You'd probably have some difficulty finding him anyway...
                                                                                                      He's not that hard to find but due to his camouflage clothing, he can be a bit difficult to spot from a distance.
                                                                                                      My eyes are shot though.

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • EddyTheDog
                                                                                                          Just Doing My Own Thing
                                                                                                          • Jan 2011
                                                                                                          • 25433
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                                                          When I say I have no way of contacting the police what I actually mean is there is no way I am contacting the police.
                                                                                                          I am wanted for a crime I didn't commit.

                                                                                                          Murdering your grandmother? - I can see why they might think that...

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • Smack dat
                                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                              • Jul 2016
                                                                                                              • 4613
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by EddyTheDog
                                                                                                              Murdering your grandmother? - I can see why they might think that...
                                                                                                              Murdering my Grand mamma? Are you on drugs, or drink?
                                                                                                              My Grand mamma dies of natural causes.

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • HairyChick
                                                                                                                  Slowly dying
                                                                                                                  • Sep 2012
                                                                                                                  • 3091
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                                                                  Thanks but I live out of town and have no way of contacting the police.
                                                                                                                  Would I be able to do my Own funeral?

                                                                                                                  What do you mean, buy calm?

                                                                                                                  Everyone dies.
                                                                                                                  Typo. Be calm.

                                                                                                                  Doesn’t grandma smell yet?
                                                                                                                  *****************************************
                                                                                                                  Anti-Semites have Small Penis Syndrome. The only known treatment is electroshock therapy combined with cerebellum removal. Fortunately, it’s a tiny procedure.
                                                                                                                  *****************************************

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                      • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                      • 22082
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Have you considered a woodchipper and a river bank?

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • Helix
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                                                                          • 6021
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                          Have you considered a woodchipper and a river bank?
                                                                                                                          Fargo style? I like it.

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • brassmonkey
                                                                                                                              Pay It Forward
                                                                                                                              • Sep 2005
                                                                                                                              • 77385
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              jeezus this is not even funny.
                                                                                                                              TRUMP 2026 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law!
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                                                                                                                                • lovebitch
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2016
                                                                                                                                  • 756
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  You guys are sick
                                                                                                                                  Cupid.Cam

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                                                                                                                                    • NatalieK
                                                                                                                                      Natalie K
                                                                                                                                      • Apr 2010
                                                                                                                                      • 19828
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      first things first, you´d better think of a huge reason you haven´t contacted the authorities, as this is always first...

                                                                                                                                      once this is done, the rest is taken care of...

                                                                                                                                      oh and "I have no way of contacting the authorities when you´re on the net" doesn´t work, See you in a few years


                                                                                                                                      "999, 911, i think you can call direct from skype"
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                                                                                                                                        • CaptainHowdy
                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                          • Dec 2004
                                                                                                                                          • 94034
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Is it too late to nominate Smack_dat for Troll of The Year ? ?

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • todservices
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Mar 2014
                                                                                                                                              • 475
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Smack dat
                                                                                                                                              Can I legally bury the body in the woods at the back of my house or perhaps tie some bricks to the body and commit the body to the nearby lake.
                                                                                                                                              Of course it is totally legal.
                                                                                                                                              Do that, there's absolutely no legal risk here.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • Smack dat
                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2016
                                                                                                                                                  • 4613
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by CaptainHowdy
                                                                                                                                                  Is it too late to nominate Smack_dat for Troll of The Year ? ?
                                                                                                                                                  Is that even a thing anymore?

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • artwilliams
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Aug 2004
                                                                                                                                                      • 252
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Is there anything GFYers can't answer!
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                                                                                                                                                        • Helix
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                                                                                                          • 6021
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          So...what did you decide to do?

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • King Mark
                                                                                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                              • Aug 2016
                                                                                                                                                              • 27031
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by artwilliams
                                                                                                                                                              Is there anything GFYers can't answer!
                                                                                                                                                              You just answered...?

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                                  • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                                                                  • 22082
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Helix
                                                                                                                                                                  So...what did you decide to do?
                                                                                                                                                                  I dont want to spoil it for you... but he just went to the store for some fava beans and a nice Chianti

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Helix
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2002
                                                                                                                                                                      • 6021
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                                                                      I dont want to spoil it for you... but he just went to the store for some fava beans and a nice Chianti

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                        • Smack dat
                                                                                                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jul 2016
                                                                                                                                                                          • 4613
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          I decided to bury it in the words out back.
                                                                                                                                                                          Dead bodies are heavy so I used a wheelbarrow.
                                                                                                                                                                          I was going to make like a sign or a tombstone type thing but couldn't be bothered so now it's just an unmarked grave.

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

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