Best Craigslist Ad Ever ! ! !

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  • Penrod
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2001
    • 3580

    #1

    Best Craigslist Ad Ever ! ! !

    http://tampa.craigslist.org/hil/bar/1168935282.html

    My girlfriend and I broke up, and I had planned to surprise her with a 7-night Caribbean cruise departing on Sunday, June 21 (returning Sunday, June 28), leaving from Port of Tampa (this is a roundtrip cruise), on the Carnival Legend ship (the 4 1/2 stars one, not the crappy ship.) Ports of call: Tampa, Florida; Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands; Cozumel, Mexico; Belize City, Belize; Roatan, Honduras; Tampa, Florida.

    I booked their top suite, on the Empress deck; per the brochure:
    Suite with large private balcony
    Square footage: 300 sq ft
    Balcony square footage: 115 sq ft
    Occupancy: Up to 2 guests (some sleep up to 4)
    Amenities: Private balcony; floor-to-ceiling glass doors opening to balcony; separate dressing, sleeping, and sitting areas; sofa; two twin beds that convert to a king-size bed; private bathroom with double sinks, whirlpool tub, and shower; separate vanity area; hair dryer; refrigerator; minibar; TV with first-run movies; telephone; and wall safe

    All meals are included, all you need is spending money for the ports of call. This cost me just over $4,800 (with tax) for two people, Cabin number: 6215. No refunds, so I'm stuck.

    I was planning to ask her to marry me on this cruise. But we broke up, and she's back with her ex. I thought about just giving the cruise to them (karma and all), then said "f*ck it - screw her, I should get something out of this, right?" I don't really want to to go on the cruise - I mean, after all, the entire time it's going to suck because I'll be thinking about her.

    So here's the deal. I'm willing to TRADE this, and all I want in return is a really hot woman who's willing to spend an evening with me. You know what I mean. (wink wink) I need something to help me get over her, and what better way to do it, right? My ex was drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, when she walked in a room, every guy's head turned. I figure for this cruise, there has to be at least ONE (maybe two?) really hot woman who's willing to help me get over her, right? A good grudge-f*ck, no names needed even. Just something to get me past the pain, and help me get over her.

    All I ask is that she be between the ages of 18 and 25(ish), give or take a few years - I'll go older (as in mid-30s) if you have a REALLY smokin' body - and I don't care if you have a boyfriend, husband, or whatever. In fact, if you have a girlfriend that wants to go, I'd totally take two in trade (every man's fantasy, right?) Like every man, I love big boobs, a great ass, and high heels. Throw in schoolgirl outfit, and I'm in heaven. If you're submissive, we'll get along great.

    About me: Mid-30. Not fat, just average. Been told I'm cute, even sexy. Don't really have any problems meeting women, but just have my heart broken, and can't bring myself to go hit the bars, because I'll probably run into her, and that would just ruin everything. It's tough moving on, especially when I thought she was "the one", but I was totally wrong.

    Here's your chance to get an all-expense paid top-of-the-line cruise, and all you have to do is help me get over her. Seriously. Interested? Send some recent photos (doesn't have to be nude, but hey, that can't hurt, right?), and let's figure this out. Hey, if we hit it off, maybe we can go together. If not, bon voyage!
  • AssPirate
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2006
    • 2135

    #2
    Wow, this sounds like the making of a John Cusack movie.

    Comment

    • Penrod
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2001
      • 3580

      #3
      Actually would probably make a good script

      Comment

      • LisaWP
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2008
        • 202

        #4
        HAHAHAHA, sounds like a great way to get a hot date who will bone ya ....or lots of naked pix.
        Lisa
        Webmaster Paradise / ICQ# 18907001 / [email protected]
        See Me on AdultWhosWho.com!

        Comment

        • fuzzylogic
          Confirmed User
          • Jun 2004
          • 4796

          #5
          dumb

          there will be plenty of girls on the cruise (single or not) willing to upgrade.

          more over, he has a few weeks to find a replacement. go to a club, spot a hot girl and offer them this dream date. for some girls, this would be a dream come true. a 7 day cruise with a stranger has the potential for a lifetime memory or partner.

          Comment

          • Barefootsies
            Choice is an Illusion
            • Feb 2005
            • 42635

            #6
            Good stuff.

            Sig.
            Should You Email Your Members?

            Link1 | Link2 | Link3

            Enough Said.

            "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

            Comment

            • O MARINA
              I'm clockin' ya, Versace shade watchin' ya
              • Mar 2003
              • 13794

              #7

              Comment

              • domain seller
                Confirmed User
                • May 2009
                • 137

                #8
                Originally posted by asspirate
                wow, this sounds like the making of a john cusack movie.
                lolz!!!!!
                There are 10 models posted here everyday who are better than this whore - plus she is a whore, so take some marks off for being a whore as well.
                - Mutt 05/09/09

                Comment

                • Yen_HerbalRevenue
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2009
                  • 816

                  #9
                  ha ha he prob doesn't even have cruise tickets or smoking ex, Just wants tons of naked pictures.


                  ICQ: 568663106 AIM: YenHerbalRevenue

                  Comment

                  • 96ukssob
                    So Fucking Banananananas
                    • Mar 2003
                    • 12991

                    #10
                    hahahaha what an idiot. sounds like one of my friends who buys his gf's everything but creeps them out with his wierdo-ness behavior and they go back to their ex

                    i would just put the ad on CL to invite some hot chick... "Free 7 day cruise, just need to put out and some anal"
                    Email: Clicky on Me

                    Comment

                    • woj
                      <&(©¿©)&>
                      • Jul 2002
                      • 47880

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Yen_HerbalRevenue
                      ha ha he prob doesn't even have cruise tickets or smoking ex, Just wants tons of naked pictures.
                      yea, no kidding, no one is stupid enough to piss away $5k worth of tickets to get laid...
                      Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000
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                      Comment

                      • SBJ
                        So Fucking Fabulous
                        • Apr 2003
                        • 11377

                        #12
                        haha gotta love the creativity of this one.. true or not I give the guy a A+ for trying

                        Comment

                        • Big Red Machine
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jan 2005
                          • 9586

                          #13
                          Its only good if it worked...email the tool and ask him

                          ICQ:475437214

                          Comment

                          • seeandsee
                            Check SIG!
                            • Mar 2006
                            • 50945

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Penrod
                            Actually would probably make a good script
                            BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year

                            Contact here

                            Comment

                            • Pleasurepays
                              BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
                              • Aug 2002
                              • 11913

                              #15
                              getting arrested and having your pic published in tampa papers for soliciting for prostitution is hardly a good "revenge"

                              Comment

                              • qxm
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jul 2006
                                • 5970

                                #16
                                This shit is soon to become a Hollywood Movie ..lol .... romantic drama y suppose ...

                                ICQ: 266990876

                                Comment

                                • bDok
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2005
                                  • 1917

                                  #17
                                  some say that cruise isn't really book and there was no ex-gf. If a girl agrees to the deal the cruise gets purchased with insurance. hehe
                                  =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                                  Warriors come out to plaAAaayyy!
                                  =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                                  Comment

                                  • SilentKnight
                                    Megan Fox's fluffer
                                    • Oct 2005
                                    • 24812

                                    #18
                                    Alternate ending

                                    (warning - spoiler alert)










                                    Gorgeous chick answers this tool's ad - goes on cruise with him. Gets seasick on Day Two. While shining the barber pole she's overcome by sudden seasickness and blows projectile vomit all over his rod.

                                    Chick mysteriously vanishes overboard in the middle of the night.

                                    Comment

                                    • brassmonkey
                                      Pay It Forward
                                      • Sep 2005
                                      • 77390

                                      #19
                                      scams got to love them dude sounds crazy
                                      TRUMP 2026 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law!
                                      DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

                                      Comment

                                      • 420
                                        cuck
                                        • Mar 2003
                                        • 11571

                                        #20
                                        http://i40.tinypic.com/nduf5c.png

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