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Barefootsies

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#1

Are You a Forgiving Fuck?

04-30-2009, 06:13 PM

If your significant other cheats (bf, gf, wife, hub) are you a forgiving person that realizes we are all human, or do you start looking up new ways to kill them (not literally)?

Would you stay and go to counceling? Or would you flip em the bird, demand half and be gone?

I am just curious.

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#2

04-30-2009, 06:17 PM

Depends.
Rarely in my life am I ever given easy black and white, yes-no type situations. Aside from shit like would you like soda or tea, etc. There are always certain nuances and things to consider with almost every reaction. One of the main reasons I do my best to never rush into a choice.

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#3

04-30-2009, 06:21 PM

I'm a very forgiving person, but I despise cheaters with a passion. I straight up told my girlfriend when we started dating that I don't like cheaters, and would rather he come to me and say "I don't want to be with you anymore" than cheat on me...
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Barefootsies

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#4

04-30-2009, 06:24 PM

Originally posted by After Shock Media

Depends.
Rarely in my life am I ever given easy black and white, yes-no type situations. Aside from shit like would you like soda or tea, etc. There are always certain nuances and things to consider with almost every reaction. One of the main reasons I do my best to never rush into a choice.

You are very wise friend. Your answer's to most things reflect it.

Bravo.

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#5

04-30-2009, 06:26 PM

I can and have forgiven a girlfriend for cheating (just as I forgave myself a few times ). Life is complicated and people make many mistakes and impulsive decisions that they often regret. Sex is a physical act that can have a significance ranging form zero to everything. If you love someone then forgiving them for a mistake is all part of it.

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#6

04-30-2009, 06:31 PM

Originally posted by Killswitch

I'm a very forgiving person, but I despise cheaters with a passion. I straight up told my girlfriend when we started dating that I don't like cheaters, and would rather he come to me and say "I don't want to be with you anymore" than cheat on me...

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#7

04-30-2009, 06:35 PM

if shes hot, forgive her. if she never says no to sex, forgive her.

otherwise, broom her.
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Barefootsies

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#8

04-30-2009, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by joshgirls

if shes hot, forgive her. if she never says no to sex, forgive her.

otherwise, broom her.

I have heard this quote more than once

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#9

04-30-2009, 06:39 PM

hell no....

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#10

04-30-2009, 06:42 PM

I am a forgiving bitch Toots

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#11

04-30-2009, 06:46 PM

Originally posted by Nicky

I am a forgiving bitch Toots

You are always good for a laugh.

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#12

04-30-2009, 06:50 PM

Nope, if someone cheats on me I can no longer trust them and to me trust is VERY important. If she has issues with me than she should have talked to me and no just go cheat. Nevertheless, no matter what the reason is, no, I will no forgive and I would end the relationship. Whether she's hot or not that would make no difference. If I can no longer trust you I will not keep it going and live my live always wondering "what if?"

When it comes to other things I may forgive, but it depends on exactly what it is.

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#13

04-30-2009, 06:53 PM

Originally posted by Yngwie

Nope, if someone cheats on me I can no longer trust them and to me trust is VERY important. If she has issues with me than she should have talked to me and no just go cheat. Nevertheless, no matter what the reason is, no, I will no forgive and I would end the relationship. Whether she's hot or not that would make no difference. If I can no longer trust you I will not keep it going and live my live always wondering "what if?"

When it comes to other things I may forgive, but it depends on exactly what it is.

Thanks for the very detailed reply. I appreciate it.

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#14

04-30-2009, 06:55 PM

Hell no,out the door,once a cheater,always a cheater

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#15

04-30-2009, 07:07 PM

Originally posted by Barefootsies

Thanks for the very detailed reply. I appreciate it.

not a problem

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#16

04-30-2009, 07:11 PM

Originally posted by Spunky

Hell no,out the door,once a cheater,always a cheater

Spunky said, "Be gone with ye"

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#17

04-30-2009, 07:14 PM

Originally posted by Barefootsies

If your significant other cheats (bf, gf, wife, hub) are you a forgiving person that realizes we are all human, or do you start looking up new ways to kill them (not literally)?

Would you stay and go to counceling? Or would you flip em the bird, demand half and be gone?

I am just curious.

IMO... once a cheater always a cheater. you really want to go back and kiss your gf/wife after shes had some other dudes cock in her mouth? what about your bf/husband having his tounge in some other womans snatch? Plus that person they are cheating on you with could be dirty or have AIDS, not taking that chance, sorry no woman is worth that.

If I even had reason to doubt my gf (maybe someday wife), id leave her in a heartbeat. then hire the best lawyer i could find to take everything i can get then stick her with bill

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#18

04-30-2009, 07:14 PM

Originally posted by Barefootsies

You are always good for a laugh.

Laugh at me bro, nothing get's me warmer inside

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#19

04-30-2009, 07:15 PM

Those marriages that have lasted for decade after decade have only done so because both parties were willing to go thru periods where they hated each other, loved each other, possibly cheated on each other and then forgave each other... If you want to be one of the few these days that has that type of a relationship, that type of love, that type of a partner in life, then you have to at least attempt to forgive and work your way thru it... but if you're like most of society these days that doesn't value marriage or relationships then just dump her, find someone else and continue the revolving door.
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#20

04-30-2009, 07:15 PM

Originally posted by Nicky

Laugh at me bro, nothing get's me wormer inside

Well, with all the bashing and negativity around, you have to keep the comedy flowing to break up the bullshit. You do it well.

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#21

04-30-2009, 07:18 PM

Originally posted by bossku69

IMO... once a cheater always a cheater. you really want to go back and kiss your gf/wife after shes had some other dudes cock in her mouth? what about your bf/husband having his tounge in some other womans snatch? Plus that person they are cheating on you with could be dirty or have AIDS, not taking that chance, sorry no woman is worth that.

If I even had reason to doubt my gf (maybe someday wife), id leave her in a heartbeat. then hire the best lawyer i could find to take everything i can get then stick her with bill

I'm not even gonna post a picture.

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#22

04-30-2009, 07:20 PM

Originally posted by Barefootsies

Well, with all the bashing and negativity around, you have to keep the comedy flowing to break up the bullshit. You do it well.

I'm drunk, let's keep it at that for now

Seriusly you're all good in my book.

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#23

04-30-2009, 07:24 PM

Originally posted by Barefootsies

Well, with all the bashing and negativity around, you have to keep the comedy flowing to break up the bullshit. You do it well.

Did you really have to quote my spelling error? I was so fast to remove it eyy footwormtoots (new word curtesey of me)

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#24

04-30-2009, 07:27 PM

Originally posted by Nicky

I'm not even gonna post a picture.

ENGLISH?! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?

wtf are you talking about? because I spelled "tongue" wrong?

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#25

04-30-2009, 07:29 PM

Originally posted by bossku69

wtf are you talking about? because I spelled "tongue" wrong?

I was talking to my self haha, sorry man, I'm drunk

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#26

04-30-2009, 07:29 PM

quite often the cheater won't come back, they will be trying to get with whoever they cheated on you with
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#27

04-30-2009, 07:30 PM

I wouldn't forgive and I would hold a grudge for all eternity if someone just didn't say hi to me or greeted me properly or patronized me Let alone cheat on me.

I don't forgive anyone. I am always looking for a reason to hold a grudge. Once something has been done it's already out there in the universe. It cannot be taken back. Same thing if something hurtful is said or spoken. The words are also out there in the universe to echo for all eternity and cannot be taken back.

Last edited by bausch; 04-30-2009, 07:33 PM.
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#28

04-30-2009, 07:31 PM

Originally posted by bossku69

wtf are you talking about? because I spelled "tongue" wrong?

hahahaha, I'm sitting here now laughing. First time I read your post It was all mumbo jumbo. Than I read it again and god damn you do type readable English

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#29

04-30-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally posted by bausch

I wouldn't forgive and I would hold a grudge for all eternity if someone just didn't say hi to me or greeted me properly or patronized me Let alone cheat on me.

Or bought a drink at the Phoneix forum...... Let's be realistic here.

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#30

04-30-2009, 07:33 PM

Originally posted by Nicky

I was talking to my self haha, sorry man, I'm drunk

for a minute there i was going to blame my iphone but realized at least that has auto spell check on it... probably wouldnt make me look to good

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#31

04-30-2009, 07:36 PM

Originally posted by Tempest

Those marriages that have lasted for decade after decade have only done so because both parties were willing to go thru periods where they hated each other, loved each other, possibly cheated on each other and then forgave each other... If you want to be one of the few these days that has that type of a relationship, that type of love, that type of a partner in life, then you have to at least attempt to forgive and work your way thru it... but if you're like most of society these days that doesn't value marriage or relationships then just dump her, find someone else and continue the revolving door.

the problem is , you can be one of the people who can forgive, but others just treat it as a revolving door and always want what they can't have

grass is always greener for some people
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#32

04-30-2009, 07:37 PM

Originally posted by bausch

I wouldn't forgive and I would hold a grudge for all eternity if someone just didn't say hi to me or greeted me properly or patronized me Let alone cheat on me.

I don't forgive anyone. I am always looking for a reason to hold a grudge. Once something has been done it's already out there in the universe. It cannot be taken back. Same thing if something hurtful is said or spoken. The words are also out there in the universe to echo for all eternity and cannot be taken back.

you are one ice cold dude
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#33

04-30-2009, 07:37 PM

Originally posted by Manowar

the problem is , you can be one of the people who can forgive, but others just treat it as a revolving door and always want what they can't have

grass is always greener for some people

Interesting. I always wonder if that holds true for all?

In RL some friends are going through, or completing their divorces. Seems for years all they have wanted was to be out of their relationship at all costs.

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#34

04-30-2009, 08:08 PM

Originally posted by Manowar

the problem is , you can be one of the people who can forgive, but others just treat it as a revolving door and always want what they can't have

grass is always greener for some people

Yep.. Giving it up when it gets tough is the norm these days..
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#35

04-30-2009, 08:09 PM

Many factors here.. does it destroy the passion in your relationship? Does it negate trust? Could you go on without that person? How "significant" are we talking about? To me it also depends on what comes with forgiving. If I can forgive and forget, then it may be possible for me to bite my tongue and work through the emotions. If it's something I cannot forget I would likely present the boot.. I would rather work on forgetting the person all together than keep them around as a reminder.

When cheating comes into play, I'm out. To me, the moment that happens is the moment she ended the relationship for you. People need to think about true consequence before crossing that line, such a sacrifice.
I don't believe in counseling for relationships.. if it's true love it should work itself out. I'll go with making demands and flipping the bird otherwise.
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Barefootsies

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#36

04-30-2009, 08:12 PM

Originally posted by Sentient

Many factors here..

Agreed. There is no simple answer.

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#37

04-30-2009, 08:23 PM

Originally posted by Sentient

if it's true love it should work itself out.

And that's exactly why relationships don't last anymore because the "media " has made people believe in a "soul mate" and that if you find that one person, everything will be perfect and just "work itself out" magically... everyone should be made to talk to some old people that have been married for 50 years before they get married these days.
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#38

04-30-2009, 08:49 PM

Originally posted by Tempest

And that's exactly why relationships don't last anymore because the "media " has made people believe in a "soul mate" and that if you find that one person, everything will be perfect and just "work itself out" magically... everyone should be made to talk to some old people that have been married for 50 years before they get married these days.

I found a prefect girl 2 weeks ago, she was 19, I fucked her, needless to say she is not a perfect girl anymore lol

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#39

04-30-2009, 08:56 PM

Fuckin she devils every one of them,they rip out the heart and stomp on it and then spit in your eye

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#40

04-30-2009, 08:59 PM

Originally posted by Spunky

Fuckin she devils every one of them,they rip out the heart and stomp on it and then spit in your eye

I concur
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#41

04-30-2009, 09:03 PM

Originally posted by Spunky

Fuckin she devils every one of them,they rip out the heart and stomp on it and then spit in your eye

ayeee captain

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#42

04-30-2009, 09:06 PM

i haven't read the whole thread so I apologize if i repeat someone else's advice... but here goes...

hire a guy named "fingers" (thats fingers not footsies) to pay a quick visit to the dude. You can't beat the girl but you can beat the girls guy... repeat three times and the problem is solved
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#43

04-30-2009, 09:11 PM

Originally posted by mmcfadden

i haven't read the whole thread so I apologize if i repeat someone else's advice... but here goes...

hire a guy named "fingers" (thats fingers not footsies) to pay a quick visit to the dude. You can't beat the girl but you can beat the girls guy... repeat three times and the problem is solved

they'll still manage to find someone else after that
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#44

04-30-2009, 10:08 PM

Originally posted by Manowar

you are one ice cold dude

It is a she, and I also think she means every word typed.

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#45

04-30-2009, 10:14 PM

I try to be forgiving. Holding a grudge and being angry would hurt me more than the person I'm trying to "punish." Just my two cents and I do understand and agree that every person's situation is different.

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#46

04-30-2009, 10:44 PM

I've made a mistake in the past and she forgave me so I would at least extend that courtesy to her. (Unless she's been fucking the guy for 2 years, of course )
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#47

04-30-2009, 10:51 PM

Dont be an idiot people.

there is a huge difference between being forgiving and leaving and being forgiving and staying.

dont listen to half these idiots who are married and most likely have a wife who they met while they were young and both grew fat together.

you always leave a cheater there is never an excuse to cheat EVER, and although you think there is a chance it will go back to being the same it will NEVER. and even if you think it "has" it will always come haunt you again.

YOU LEAVE and then later forgive, you forgive the person because they are human and when you are ready to forgive someone that means you have fully moved on.

never stick around, never try to make it work again. notch it up as an expierience in your life and keep moving onto new and greater expieriences.

people have to start realizing alot of people these days come from seperated homes or grow up with the belief that relationships are not that "big" of a deal and thus to them cheating is OK. they may act sympathetic but that is due to hurting someone they "love" but when it boils down someone who cheats has a 100% different belief system from someone who does not.

there is no fine line in between if you are someone who has a firm belief system set in NO CHEATING then you need to move on because thinking you are going to change the person in the end you are only fooling yourself.

and this goes to no matter how much you "love" the person or how matter much they "love" you, it will and cant ever be the same and you need to man up or woman up and move on.
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#48

04-30-2009, 10:52 PM

Originally posted by After Shock Media

It is a she, and I also think she means every word typed.

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#49

04-30-2009, 10:54 PM

and if you choose not to move on then i hope you rot and never find love again, there is so many quality and good people out there just looking to be with someone but to many other quality people are afraid of being lonely so they stick through bullshit. those kind of people i have no sympathy for. you will rot oneday just like the cheater.
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#50

04-30-2009, 10:58 PM

When it comes to matters of the heart, some very polarized opinions.

Good discussion.

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