HairyChick

Seriously, doctor recommended “marijuana cigarettes” for pain management. They’re opening a pot shop one town over and he suggested he write a prescription. The limit is half-an-ounce per day and I can designate someone to pick up my medication.

First I need insurance approval. They require written prior pain management drugs for the past ten years. That was from two hospitals, rehab, nursing home and current doctors. Tons of other documentation plus I have to see a doctor they choose to determine if I’m faking it.

A former CNA has a prescription and says it helps her with pain. I said it relaxes you and if you don’t tense up, then you could have less pain.

But, I’d still take Morphine but not at night, so one less dose. My goal is to get off the pain meds. If I’m smoking before sleep, I’ll not enjoy the uhhh pleasant side effects. I’ll need a lot of documentation and ID cards plus a Massachusetts-issued license to be to “legally inhale marijuana harvested in Massachusetts to manage chronic pain, limited to x number of ounces per day. For medicinal usage only and not shared with another individual. Usage while driving, drinking or during employment is prohibited and against the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

I jokingly asked the doctor if a bong was provided. He didn’t smile while explaining rolling papers and telling me they’ll “teach” me how to roll a marijuana cigarette. “I went to high school” and he didn’t smile at that, either. No sense of humor at all.

Don’t smoke in public. Go into the bathroom, crack open a window, then use organic air freshener to clear the air. Yeah, $10 for a can of spray without chemicals. No-name Walmart perfume is cheaper but I don’t want to smell either on me. “You can apply to the state of Massachusetts for assistance to purchase the spray of your choice (organic orange something). Provide documentation that this is for masking the odor of medicinal marijuana in an indoor setting per medical prescription.”

It would be less work to buy a can of spray at Dollar Tree and buy pot from a dealer. Oh you have to be tested bi-weekly to make sure you aren’t overdoing it. That will surely discourage overuse 🙄🤔🙄🤔

I did ask the nurse if I could take a hit of THC. Environmental effects, no finger burning, no harmful spray in the ozone, no fire concern and less ruining of our land. After she stopped laughing, she said studies showed much less effectiveness in tests. Then she asked me to email her my argument as she wants to put it on a poster for the office.

She offered me a bag of Christmas candy in thanks. I reminded her I’m diabetic and she gave me a $20 gift card for Dunkin’ Donuts because I said I drank iced coffee.

I went in and expected a boring, quick visit. I left laughing, happy, and thinking this was a good way to end the year.

__________________
*****************************************
Anti-Semites have Small Penis Syndrome. The only known treatment is electroshock therapy combined with cerebellum removal. Fortunately, it’s a tiny procedure.
*****************************************