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LAJ

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#1

Damn that felt good!

04-16-2009, 11:35 AM

Fuckin missionaries.

So I see two young dudes in white short sleeve button down shirts and ties walking up my steps.

Big sign I put up next to my doorbell "NO SOLICITING".

Undeterred they knock anyway.

Me: Yeah. What's up?

Them: Hi sir we are missionaries for Jesus Christ...

Me: (cutting them off while raising my left hand and pointing to the no soliciting sign with my right)

Them: But we aren't soliciting anything.

Me: Yes, You are! You are trying to sell me on an idea that I disagree 100% with. Move on. Goodbye.

Them: Wait, do you know anyone...

Me: (Door slams shut).

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Honez

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#2

04-16-2009, 11:37 AM

We used to have a No Soliciting sign. Amazing how many people didn't think it applied to them.

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Evil Chris

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#3

04-16-2009, 11:43 AM

I'm actually polite to them when they come to my door.
Same thing with telemarketers. They're just putting food on the table.

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JFK

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#4

04-16-2009, 11:45 AM

Originally posted by Evil Chris

I'm actually polite to them when they come to my door.
Same thing with telemarketers. They're just putting food on the table.

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LAJ

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#5

04-16-2009, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by Evil Chris

I'm actually polite to them when they come to my door.
Same thing with telemarketers. They're just putting food on the table.

No, they're not. HUGE difference.

Telemarketers are salaried / commissioned employees. If I don't want to answer the phone, I don't. I have my number listed in the do not call registry but should one slip thru, I'll turn down the request to purchase goods or make a donation. I do all that good shit on my own time.

These guys blatantly ignored a sign next to my door and it's their MISSION to convert people. Like my religion or lack of isn't good enough for them. It's pretty fuckin insulting actually. Whether they save souls or not this has nothing to do with them putting food on the table.

Maybe I should go door to door trying to convince people that god doesn't exist? How would that go over??

Last edited by LAJ; 04-16-2009, 11:54 AM.

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Vicious_B

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#6

04-16-2009, 11:52 AM

I had 2 big dogs that used to go nuts when anyone they didn't know was at the door, jumping up and slobbering all over the place. Of course they just wanted to play but it didn't look like that to anyone on the other side. When my doorbell rang at 8 am after me working all night I figured I would actually open it and let the dogs scare the Jehovah witnesses away for good. Don't you know the two dogs sat like little angels for the first and only time!!!

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qxm

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#7

04-16-2009, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by LAJ

No, they're not. HUGE difference.

Telemarketers are salaried / commissioned employees. If I don't want to answer the phone, I don't. I have my number listed in the do not call registry but should one slip thru, I'll turn down the request to purchase goods or make a donation. I do all that good shit on my own time.

These guys blatantly ignored a sign next to my door and it's their MISSION to convert people. Like my religion or lack of isn't good enough for them. It's pretty fuckin insulting actually. Whether they save souls or not this has nothing to do with them putting food on the table.

Maybe I should go door to door trying to convince people that god doesn't exist? How would that go over??

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hjnet

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#8

04-16-2009, 11:57 AM

I tell them to Fuck off, no matter if they're telemarketers or some other retards...
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#9

04-16-2009, 11:57 AM

They come to my door pretty often.

The last time they told me they were looking for spanish speaking people.

I just said no comprendo.

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#10

04-16-2009, 12:00 PM

Originally posted by LAJ

Maybe I should go door to door trying to convince people that god doesn't exist? How would that go over??

I love it LAJ. Sign me up to join in the solicitation.

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alias

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#11

04-16-2009, 12:10 PM

In an old house I had, this cut down on the jehovah's.

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#12

04-16-2009, 12:17 PM
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#13

04-16-2009, 12:18 PM

I woudn't have bothered answering.

It's funny cause solicitors will see me check them out and walk away from the door.

It makes them sooo angry. I love it.
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#14

04-16-2009, 12:21 PM

You didnt offer them cookies?

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#15

04-16-2009, 12:22 PM

I've debated with them for the fun of it, then offer them some cool-aid before closing the door on their face.

I'm always amazed they can get these young people to waste their weekends going door to door to talk about Jesus.

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#16

04-16-2009, 12:29 PM

we live in a cul-de-sac of a gated community and they still slip through the cracks and harrass us... it's been fine for a few months now though

i still get ticked off at landscapers and housekeepers littering my front door and driveway with business cards and "rock samples"

would never use one of them on principal for trespassing and littering my house

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#17

04-16-2009, 12:37 PM

I always inform them there's no soliciting law for our neighborhood and they always say "we're not" and so then I reply "then you must be trespassing because I don't know you, so lets let the police decide which it is?" That seems to always clear them out pretty fast...

Also, I got a new welcome mat last week that says "LEAVE" on it....haha

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LAJ

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#18

04-16-2009, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by Wizzo

I always inform them there's no soliciting law for our neighborhood and they always say "we're not" and so then I reply "then you must be trespassing because I don't know you, so lets let the police decide which it is?" That seems to always clear them out pretty fast...

Oooh... I'll do that next time. Thanks for the idea.

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#19

04-16-2009, 05:31 PM

Originally posted by LAJ

Oooh... I'll do that next time. Thanks for the idea.

maybe a sign .....Warning 10,000 volts do not touch ! next to your doorbell , or Warning trespassers will be SHOT !

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#20

04-16-2009, 05:40 PM

I used to tell them I am a satan worshipper and jshut the door on them. The look on their faces was always great for that split second.

and they would always go away.
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#21

04-16-2009, 05:45 PM

my dad's buddy would answer the door naked when they came around. funnier when u consider he is a huge fat dude.
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#22

04-16-2009, 05:49 PM

missionaries suck great cock

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#23

04-16-2009, 05:53 PM

Originally posted by LAJ

Fuckin missionaries.

So I see two young dudes in white short sleeve button down shirts and ties walking up my steps.

Big sign I put up next to my doorbell "NO SOLICITING".

Undeterred they knock anyway.

Me: Yeah. What's up?

Them: Hi sir we are missionaries for Jesus Christ...

Me: (cutting them off while raising my left hand and pointing to the no soliciting sign with my right)

Them: But we aren't soliciting anything.

Me: Yes, You are! You are trying to sell me on an idea that I disagree 100% with. Move on. Goodbye.

Them: Wait, do you know anyone...

Me: (Door slams shut).

Save someone elses soul. And learn how to read.

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#24

04-16-2009, 05:54 PM

My all time favorite moment with a missionary came when I was over at a friends house with a group of guys and we were getting ready to watch a big boxing match. There is knock, we look up and see the guys in the white shirts at the door. My buddy says, "I'll handle this." He gets up and answers. They say hi, he says hi and they ask if he has a minute to talk about the lord. My buddy opens the door and waves to us, a room full of dudes, and says, "Sure, but once we get the tarp down the all guy gang fuck is going to get rolling. You can jump in if you want. How do you feel about guy on guy balls deep anal penetration?" They turned a shade of off white, blessed his soul and left.

I laughed for about five minutes.
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#25

04-16-2009, 07:22 PM

Originally posted by Wizzo

Also, I got a new welcome mat last week that says "LEAVE" on it....haha

Mine says "Do Not Disturb" but I've come to the conclusion that the solicitors cant fucking read.

I just open the door and tell them, hey you're standing on my do not disturb doormat, and when they look down, I slam the door.

Yeah, I'm an asshole, so what. Do Not Disturb the asshole.

My other favorite thing to do is grab thier business card as they are sliding it in my door, open the door, throw it at them. The looks on their face is always priceless.
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