Today, an old girlfriend from years ago wanted to have lunch. Seeing as I had nothing to do, I went with her. She introduced me to her son. Apparently I am the father. My son is 6. FML
Today, I got an letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
There are a lot of fake stories on it and they are pretty easy to spot. Does not really matter though and I am sure more and more people are posting more real and fake ones with each passing second of popularity.
Question - why did the OP censor the word fuck in the title?
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
This is the english of a french (from france) concept: http://www.viedemerde.fr They published a book in french and I'm actually reading it when I poX. There's probably a bunch of story that are not real but who care some of them are so funny.
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Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
No doubt one may quote history to support any cause, as the devil quotes scripture.
-- Learned Hand
Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML
I had the exact same idea for a site like this about a year ago. Fuck it lol
funny posts though
Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use." FML
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
These are great sticky sites....its the idea ....awesome! And site doesnt even need a nice design actually NO design lol.....that says, product sales for itself if its good!
Today, my mom came to wake me up because my alarm didn't go off. She brought my dog in to wake me up and he came and laid on bed. I started to rub what i thought was his neck and playing with a random tuft of fur. I soon realized that it was his penis. I gave my dog a handjob. FML
"WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams..
Today, I was trying to register for a porn site. I secretly took my father's credit card, but all I got back was a "this credit card is already in use." FML
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