How to deal with a financially irresponsible parent?

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  • fuzzylogic
    Confirmed User
    • Jun 2004
    • 4796
    #1

    How to deal with a financially irresponsible parent?

    hello, i have a problem and am looking for advice on how to best handle this situation.

    my mother has trouble paying her bills and just got her car repo'd a second time. i will have to drive her to and from work and pay to retrieve her car. she needs to keep her job.

    she had her hips replaced in august. she claims her medical bills is what puts her behind. she has a simple life - just a track phone, no cable, no internet and keeps her heat down.

    one issue with her life is she has too much shit everywhere being a hoarder.

    she did not contact me both times she was behind on her car. maybe her pride got in the way?

    she needs an infusion of capital to regain her footing. if i am going to invest in her failed business model, what should i demand out of the deal? her finance books to manage her money? ownership of all her crap so i can throw it away? if i do take over her finances then she will be become dependent on me for money like a child and thats not something i am looking forward to.
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    • pimplink
      Confirmed User
      • Jun 2001
      • 9535
      #2
      the best deal in this situations is - NO DEAL

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        • jmcb420
          So Fucking Drunk
          • Oct 2006
          • 2155
          #3
          Dont expect it back.......
          I'm funner than AIDS, and easier to explain to your parents.

            Comment

            • BVF
              Black Vagina Finder
              • Jan 2002
              • 13975
              #4
              It's your mom man so you gotta do something....If you are going to infuse some cash, I advise that you just pay the people that need to be paid instead of her.

              Black Pussy
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                Comment

                • IllTestYourGirls
                  Ah My Balls
                  • Feb 2007
                  • 14311
                  #5
                  Originally posted by BVF
                  It's your mom man so you gotta do something....If you are going to infuse some cash, I advise that you just pay the people that need to be paid instead of her.
                  best answer and tell her this is the last time

                    Comment

                    • camgirlshide
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2005
                      • 1558
                      #6
                      give her small payments so she feels some pain if she blows it on something stupid, but can never get in too much trouble since the next payment is coming up soon.
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                        Comment

                        • Sly
                          Let's do some business!
                          • Sep 2004
                          • 31380
                          #7
                          It sounds like she simply isn't making enough money? Maybe she should consider different living arrangements... a cheaper place or a roommate. It may sound funny to have a roommate at that age but if she can find another single woman around her age it may work out for both of them... a little companionship, cheaper living, and better safety.
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                            • Barefootsies
                              Choice is an Illusion
                              • Feb 2005
                              • 42635
                              #8
                              Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                              How to deal with a financially irresponsible parent?
                              Should You Email Your Members?

                              Link1 | Link2 | Link3

                              Enough Said.

                              "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

                                Comment

                                • LiveDose
                                  Show Yer Tits!
                                  • Feb 2002
                                  • 25792
                                  #9
                                  I would do anything for my Mom. Use your best judgement and do what you can to help her get her footing.

                                  Scammer Alert: acer19 acer [email protected] [email protected] Money stolen using PayPal

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                                    • fuzzylogic
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jun 2004
                                      • 4796
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by Barefootsies
                                      funny! exactly what goes threw my mind!

                                        Comment

                                        • TurboAngel
                                          H.B.I.C.
                                          • Jun 2003
                                          • 30122
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by BVF
                                          It's your mom man so you gotta do something....If you are going to infuse some cash, I advise that you just pay the people that need to be paid instead of her.
                                          You got it, I don't know how much you'll have to put out but she did give you life so you hav to help.



                                            Comment

                                            • fuzzylogic
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jun 2004
                                              • 4796
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Sly
                                              It sounds like she simply isn't making enough money? Maybe she should consider different living arrangements... a cheaper place or a roommate. It may sound funny to have a roommate at that age but if she can find another single woman around her age it may work out for both of them... a little companionship, cheaper living, and better safety.
                                              that's an interesting idea i have not thought of.

                                              in order to find out if she is not making enough money i will have to look at her books and go about managing her income/expenses.

                                              i didnt expect to have to take care of a parent so soon in my life.

                                                Comment

                                                • ExLust
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Aug 2008
                                                  • 3223
                                                  #13
                                                  Take her to Dr. Phil.

                                                  BE A PARTNER

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Alky
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Apr 2002
                                                      • 5651
                                                      #14
                                                      tough to say without knowing her... i definitely wouldnt give her a lump sum of cash though... you need to sit down with her and figure out where her money is going and what she can actually afford.

                                                      then figure out a way to lower her costs, and in the mean time help her out with some cash little by little and make sure it's getting spent where it needs to.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • kane
                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                          • Aug 2001
                                                          • 20684
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by Alky
                                                          tough to say without knowing her... i definitely wouldnt give her a lump sum of cash though... you need to sit down with her and figure out where her money is going and what she can actually afford.

                                                          then figure out a way to lower her costs, and in the mean time help her out with some cash little by little and make sure it's getting spent where it needs to.
                                                          I agree. Sit down with her and do a budget. Find out what she has coming in and what is going out. Then put her on a strict budget. I would even go so far as to take control of her main bills. Tell her she has to give you X amount of dollars from each check and you will pay the bills for her to make sure they are kept up to date. She might have to swallow her pride so be nice about it, just tell her you want to help and this is the easiest way to do it.

                                                          If you just give her a bunch of cash it sounds like she will be right back asking for money in a few months.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • TidalWave
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Sep 2007
                                                              • 2706
                                                              #16
                                                              Maybe she can start submitting gals?
                                                              www.SwiftNode.com

                                                                Comment

                                                                • Iron Fist
                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                  • Dec 2006
                                                                  • 23400
                                                                  #17
                                                                  I wonder if I can be a financially irresponsible parent so someone can come by and bail me out too...

                                                                  Me <3 cash infusions!
                                                                  i like waffles

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • WWC
                                                                      #1 Adult Content Provider
                                                                      • Jul 2003
                                                                      • 11577
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Take all her money and manage it for her....
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                                                                        • d-null
                                                                          . . .
                                                                          • Apr 2007
                                                                          • 13724
                                                                          #19
                                                                          don't be too critical of her, some people just are terrible with money and they are like their own worst enemy yet they can't help it, it's your choice to help her or not, but don't make her feel guilty or anything as she probably can't help it as it is deeply a part of her personality


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                                                                            • riddler
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Oct 2004
                                                                              • 3726
                                                                              #20
                                                                              was she a good mother growing up? if so help her out with no questions asked after all she did give you a good life but if she gave you a shitty child hood then dont help her

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • doridori
                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                  • Jul 2008
                                                                                  • 2222
                                                                                  #21

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • d-null
                                                                                      . . .
                                                                                      • Apr 2007
                                                                                      • 13724
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by riddler
                                                                                      was she a good mother growing up? if so help her out with no questions asked after all she did give you a good life but if she gave you a shitty child hood then dont help her
                                                                                      I agree with that, but also to the extent that if it wouldn't hurt me financially, I'd probably help her even if she made mistakes in my childhood too...... help her no matter what if it is no real skin off your nose, you don't have to give her a luxury lifestyle, but making sure she is ok should probably go without saying

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                                                                                        • edgeprod
                                                                                          Permanently Gone
                                                                                          • Mar 2004
                                                                                          • 10019
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                                                                                          if i am going to invest in her failed business model, what should i demand out of the deal?
                                                                                          I'd say either have her do a site (provide content), or at least a few blowjobs per week under your desk. Depends on the amount of capital, IMO.

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • fuzzylogic
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Jun 2004
                                                                                              • 4796
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by d-null
                                                                                              don't be too critical of her, some people just are terrible with money and they are like their own worst enemy yet they can't help it, it's your choice to help her or not, but don't make her feel guilty or anything as she probably can't help it as it is deeply a part of her personality

                                                                                              ya, she knows she fucked up. she broke down crying, not out of attention but out of stress and shame. not a fun sight to see. it's important to build and move forward, not criticize the past. it's also important not to repeat mistakes.

                                                                                              a lot of people suggest that i manage her bills or income. thanks for the support. that seems to be the obvious next step to get her shit straightened out.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • tony299
                                                                                                  lurker
                                                                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                                                                  • 57021
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  you said she has a simple life - just a track phone, no cable, no internet and keeps her heat down.
                                                                                                  so why are you assuming she is financially irresponsible.the person you described above doesnt sound like that.
                                                                                                  medical bills can be a bear and if they are putting pressure on her.most dont realize they can say this is what i can pay you fuck off.
                                                                                                  you said she claims do you not trust her for some reason?

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • The Duck
                                                                                                      Adult Content Provider
                                                                                                      • May 2005
                                                                                                      • 18243
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by Barefootsies
                                                                                                      Skype Horusmaia
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                                                                                                        • Janak
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Jan 2009
                                                                                                          • 483
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          My stats here.

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                                                                                                            • nation-x
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Mar 2004
                                                                                                              • 5370
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                                                                                                              hello, i have a problem and am looking for advice on how to best handle this situation.

                                                                                                              my mother has trouble paying her bills and just got her car repo'd a second time. i will have to drive her to and from work and pay to retrieve her car. she needs to keep her job.

                                                                                                              she had her hips replaced in august. she claims her medical bills is what puts her behind. she has a simple life - just a track phone, no cable, no internet and keeps her heat down.

                                                                                                              one issue with her life is she has too much shit everywhere being a hoarder.

                                                                                                              she did not contact me both times she was behind on her car. maybe her pride got in the way?

                                                                                                              she needs an infusion of capital to regain her footing. if i am going to invest in her failed business model, what should i demand out of the deal? her finance books to manage her money? ownership of all her crap so i can throw it away? if i do take over her finances then she will be become dependent on me for money like a child and thats not something i am looking forward to.
                                                                                                              Boy... your the epitome of a good son aren't you? Posting your mothers dirty laundry on an adult webmaster board and calling her a child. She obviously failed at teaching you basic respect... Parents are real people who make mistakes... the way to handle it isn't to catch an attitude like the one you have and that is for certain. You should be ashamed of yourself for talking about your mother like that... You should help her get her shit together with love and respect... and the best way to do that is to be a model of how to do it. If you have kids I guarantee you will get what you sew.

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • Wizzo
                                                                                                                  2011 GFY Hall of Fame!
                                                                                                                  • Nov 2000
                                                                                                                  • 15224
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by edgeprod
                                                                                                                  I'd say either have her do a site (provide content), or at least a few blowjobs per week under your desk. Depends on the amount of capital, IMO.
                                                                                                                  I wonder how fucked in the head you are to even suggest someone have their mom suck their dick under the desk...
                                                                                                                  Looking for Opportunity!

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • HorseShit
                                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                      • Dec 2004
                                                                                                                      • 17513
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Barefootsies

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • nico-t
                                                                                                                          emperor of my world
                                                                                                                          • Aug 2004
                                                                                                                          • 29901
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by edgeprod
                                                                                                                          I'd say either have her do a site (provide content), or at least a few blowjobs per week under your desk. Depends on the amount of capital, IMO.
                                                                                                                          ok thats just sick dude did you read that he was talking about his mom

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • John-ACWM
                                                                                                                              Work Work Work
                                                                                                                              • Nov 2008
                                                                                                                              • 20060
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Just help her,karma

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • Matt 26z
                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                                                                                                  • 18481
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  You said something about a failed business model, so I presume she runs a business of some sort. Is this a business that you can improve upon and then let her run with it from there?

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Fletch XXX
                                                                                                                                      GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2002
                                                                                                                                      • 60840
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      no clue, when i read things lik,e this i am glad my mom was and is such a responsible person in her life and tried her best to pass that on to me.

                                                                                                                                      good luck, everyting is gonna work out man.

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                                                                                                                                        • Snake Doctor
                                                                                                                                          I'm Lenny2 Bitch
                                                                                                                                          • Mar 2001
                                                                                                                                          • 13449
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          If it were me, personally, I would go to an adult industry message board full of pornographers and hangers-on and tell them all kinds of demeaning things about my mother, and ask them what they thought I should do.
                                                                                                                                          sig too big

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • HorseShit
                                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                              • Dec 2004
                                                                                                                                              • 17513
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by nico-t
                                                                                                                                              ok thats just sick dude did you read that he was talking about his mom

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • Phoenix
                                                                                                                                                  BACON BACON BACON
                                                                                                                                                  • Nov 2002
                                                                                                                                                  • 35475
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  buy her a cheap car...if she cant afford the new one..take it back and buy a used one.
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                                                                                                                                                    • Tom_PM
                                                                                                                                                      Porn Meister
                                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2005
                                                                                                                                                      • 16443
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      My mother was always too proud to EVER outright ask for money help. When I'd visit her, I'd ask my brother who lived with her and he'd go get me the bills. I'd pay them in full so she was not playing the evil "minimum payment" game. I'd give her cash too because lets face it, mom raised 6 kids and did so much of it alone after my father had passed away young. There was nothing I wouldnt have done to help her.

                                                                                                                                                      If I had a chance to, I'd spreadsheet everything, break it down by week and even by day and show it to her. Chop up credit cards and prioritise the ones that need to be paid faster because of penalties/interest. Shit like that. Common sense when you have a clear head. Maybe your mother just isn't keeping track closely so it slips her mind and before you know it, it's repo time. Good luck.
                                                                                                                                                      43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • Tom_PM
                                                                                                                                                          Porn Meister
                                                                                                                                                          • Feb 2005
                                                                                                                                                          • 16443
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          OH yeah, hoarding too is a real serious issue. You should take a few big plastic bins and start sorting.. KEEP, UNSURE, TRASH and start one room/box/pile at a time.
                                                                                                                                                          43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • Sly
                                                                                                                                                              Let's do some business!
                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2004
                                                                                                                                                              • 31380
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Matt 26z
                                                                                                                                                              You said something about a failed business model, so I presume she runs a business of some sort. Is this a business that you can improve upon and then let her run with it from there?
                                                                                                                                                              LOL I'm pretty sure that it was a metaphor referencing the bank and auto industries...
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                                                                                                                                                                • fuzzylogic
                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2004
                                                                                                                                                                  • 4796
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by PR_Tom
                                                                                                                                                                  OH yeah, hoarding too is a real serious issue. You should take a few big plastic bins and start sorting.. KEEP, UNSURE, TRASH and start one room/box/pile at a time.
                                                                                                                                                                  dude, even attempting to throw away something as silly as her collection of rubber bands is like pulling teeth. she told me she may need a lot of them at some point. she has boxes of empty containers. she has so much stuff there is only a path that leads from the front door to the kitchen sink.

                                                                                                                                                                  some people have criticized me for using language with shows a lack of respect towards her. i apologize for that. i just get terribly frustrated with her sometimes.

                                                                                                                                                                  hopefully her car will be back by thursday.

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Jakez
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                                                      • 5656
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by nation-x
                                                                                                                                                                      Boy... your the epitome of a good son aren't you? Posting your mothers dirty laundry on an adult webmaster board and calling her a child. She obviously failed at teaching you basic respect... Parents are real people who make mistakes... the way to handle it isn't to catch an attitude like the one you have and that is for certain. You should be ashamed of yourself for talking about your mother like that... You should help her get her shit together with love and respect... and the best way to do that is to be a model of how to do it. If you have kids I guarantee you will get what you sew.
                                                                                                                                                                      The kind of reply I had in mind. Jesus man, everyone here really is a hardcore asshole. My mother would be living with me if that is what it came to. It is afterall, your mother..
                                                                                                                                                                      [email protected] - jakezdumb - 573689400

                                                                                                                                                                      Killuminati

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                                                                                                                                                                        • tranza
                                                                                                                                                                          ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                                          • 57559
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Tha is a hard sittuation...hope everything gets alright..
                                                                                                                                                                          I'm just a newbie.

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                            • tony299
                                                                                                                                                                              lurker
                                                                                                                                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                                                                              • 57021
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                                                                                                                                                                              dude, even attempting to throw away something as silly as her collection of rubber bands is like pulling teeth. she told me she may need a lot of them at some point. she has boxes of empty containers. she has so much stuff there is only a path that leads from the front door to the kitchen sink.

                                                                                                                                                                              some people have criticized me for using language with shows a lack of respect towards her. i apologize for that. i just get terribly frustrated with her sometimes.

                                                                                                                                                                              hopefully her car will be back by thursday.
                                                                                                                                                                              so did you find out why it happened?

                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                • candyflip
                                                                                                                                                                                  Carpe Visio
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 43074
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  The money is the least of your worries if she's a hoarder.

                                                                                                                                                                                  That's going to need someone to actually come in and help her make life changes.

                                                                                                                                                                                  There are people out there to help, so I'd do some looking in that direction as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                  Spend you some brain.
                                                                                                                                                                                  Email Me

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                                                                                                                                                                                    • DarkJedi
                                                                                                                                                                                      No Refunds Issued.
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 28301
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      dont invest any money into her shit.

                                                                                                                                                                                      just give her some cash every month for food/bills

                                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                        • tony299
                                                                                                                                                                                          lurker
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                          • 57021
                                                                                                                                                                                          #47
                                                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                                                                                                                                                                                          dude, even attempting to throw away something as silly as her collection of rubber bands is like pulling teeth. she told me she may need a lot of them at some point. she has boxes of empty containers. she has so much stuff there is only a path that leads from the front door to the kitchen sink.

                                                                                                                                                                                          some people have criticized me for using language with shows a lack of respect towards her. i apologize for that. i just get terribly frustrated with her sometimes.

                                                                                                                                                                                          hopefully her car will be back by thursday.
                                                                                                                                                                                          Have you thought about getting her some professional help.It sounds like maybe something could be wrong with her.

                                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                            • DarkJedi
                                                                                                                                                                                              No Refunds Issued.
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                                                                                              • 28301
                                                                                                                                                                                              #48
                                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by tony404
                                                                                                                                                                                              so did you find out why it happened?
                                                                                                                                                                                              she's fuckign batchit crazy, that's what happened.



                                                                                                                                                                                              my suggestion is to just throw all the shit away while she is gone somewhere.

                                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                • corbu
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Nov 2003
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • 1461
                                                                                                                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by fuzzylogic
                                                                                                                                                                                                  hello, i have a problem and am looking for advice on how to best handle this situation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  my mother has trouble paying her bills and just got her car repo'd a second time. i will have to drive her to and from work and pay to retrieve her car. she needs to keep her job.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  she had her hips replaced in august. she claims her medical bills is what puts her behind. she has a simple life - just a track phone, no cable, no internet and keeps her heat down.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  one issue with her life is she has too much shit everywhere being a hoarder.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  she did not contact me both times she was behind on her car. maybe her pride got in the way?

                                                                                                                                                                                                  she needs an infusion of capital to regain her footing. if i am going to invest in her failed business model, what should i demand out of the deal? her finance books to manage her money? ownership of all her crap so i can throw it away? if i do take over her finances then she will be become dependent on me for money like a child and thats not something i am looking forward to.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  pay the people that need to be paid directly instead

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    • carol.prime
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2006
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • 6960
                                                                                                                                                                                                      #50
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by corbu
                                                                                                                                                                                                      pay the people that need to be paid directly instead
                                                                                                                                                                                                      right

                                                                                                                                                                                                      And just give her allowance monthly. Just give her the exact amount for her basic needs.
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