beat this joke

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  • Theo
    HAL 9000
    • May 2001
    • 34515
    #1

    beat this joke

    Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny?
    Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral.
    Johnny asks: What is oral?
    Grandpa says: I say "fuck you", she says" fuck you too".
    Tags: None
    • [MistaT]
      So Fucking Banned
      • Jul 2002
      • 193
      #2
      thats some funny shit

        Comment

        • Slick
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2001
          • 7338
          #3
          How do you make pickle bread ???

          With Dill Dough

            Comment

            • Spoonie Luv
              Confirmed User
              • Jul 2002
              • 1003
              #4
              Boyfriend and girlfriend are talking.
              Girlfriend asks "How do you spell pedophile?"
              Boyfriend says "Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for an eight year old!"

                Comment

                • SykkBoy2
                  Jesus loves bacon
                  • Feb 2001
                  • 19969
                  #5
                  How do you make an elephant float?
                  A mug of rootbeer and two scops of elephant
                  Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                    Comment

                    • EscortBiz
                      Fuck Checks, CASH only!
                      • May 2002
                      • 19422
                      #6
                      What does a Jewish wife make for dinner?



                      Reservations



                      How do you get a Jewish girl to stop fucking?




                      Marry her

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                        Comment

                        • BV
                          wtf
                          • Sep 2001
                          • 10914
                          #7
                          Mom gets call from school, son gets caught having sex on campus, mom is furious.

                          Mom tells dad about son when Dad comes home from work, dad pretends to be upset. :-) (really dad is proud!)

                          Next day Dad is home when son gets back from school.
                          He says: Well son did you have sex today?

                          Son says:
                          "No Dad, My ass still hurts from yesterday!



                          Cheers!,
                          BV

                            Comment

                            • PersianKitty
                              Meow Media Inc.
                              • Jul 2001
                              • 7785
                              #8
                              PMS goes back to bible times.

                              It's even mentioned in the bible.


                              "Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem."

                                Comment

                                • XXXPaysiteDesign
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Mar 2002
                                  • 2201
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by PersianKitty
                                  PMS goes back to bible times.

                                  It's even mentioned in the bible.


                                  "Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem."
                                  SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

                                    Comment

                                    • Ace-Ace
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • May 2002
                                      • 1863
                                      #10
                                      Check out some of the shit on my site http://www.dailyhumor.net/ - got some pretty good jokes (and even better "Funny Pics") there! Don't worry no ads or anything, just some entertainment for ya!
                                      JamPlay.com - Online, video-based guitar lessons

                                        Comment

                                        • High Quality
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Feb 2002
                                          • 5741
                                          #11
                                          I can beat it:

                                          Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sit AROUND the house!


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                                            Comment

                                            • StuartD
                                              Sofa King Band
                                              • Jul 2002
                                              • 29903
                                              #12
                                              Did you hear that scientists have found a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by up to 90%?!?!??!!

                                              It's called Wedding Cake!!!



                                              A recent survey found that 25% of men kiss their wife good bye when leaving their house.
                                              A similar studay found that 95% of men kiss their house good bye when leaving their wife!!
                                              This is me on facebook
                                              This is me on twitter

                                                Comment

                                                • SCOOTER
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Oct 2001
                                                  • 4010
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by EscortBiz

                                                  How do you get a Jewish girl to stop fucking?

                                                  Marry her

                                                  HMMM...... My Wife must be Jewish
                                                  Scooter
                                                  [email protected]

                                                    Comment

                                                    • SunTzu
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • May 2002
                                                      • 456
                                                      #14
                                                      Why do Pollocks bury their dead with the asses sticking up in the air?



                                                      ---------



                                                      So they have someplace to park their bikes.
                                                      Gtalk and email :: sd at tabu.com

                                                        Comment

                                                        • High Quality
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                          • 5741
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by MaskedMan
                                                          Did you hear that scientists have found a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by up to 90%?!?!??!!

                                                          It's called Wedding Cake!!!



                                                          A recent survey found that 25% of men kiss their wife good bye when leaving their house.
                                                          A similar studay found that 95% of men kiss their house good bye when leaving their wife!!


                                                          RecurCash.com - Averaging $38/sale with 60% revshare in the first 4 months alone!

                                                          Convert your TEEN traffic today @ better than 1:500 guaranteed. ICQ me: 18287590!

                                                            Comment

                                                            • KingK7
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Jun 2002
                                                              • 6372
                                                              #16
                                                              Here are a couple redneck jokes:

                                                              ---
                                                              Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming home from the shelter for abused women?
                                                              A: The dishes, if she knows what's best for her...
                                                              ---
                                                              Q: What do you say to your girlfriend when she comes to you with two black eyes?
                                                              A: Nothing, you already told her twice...

                                                                Comment

                                                                • KingK7
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jun 2002
                                                                  • 6372
                                                                  #17
                                                                  The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • KingK7
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Jun 2002
                                                                      • 6372
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Q: What's the title of Christopher Reeves' next movie?
                                                                      A: Superman Gets a Good Parking Spot.

                                                                      Q: What's Superman's new weakness?
                                                                      A: Everything.

                                                                      Q: How do you stop Superman from moving?
                                                                      A: Tape his mouth shut.

                                                                      Q: What does Superman eat for breakfast?
                                                                      A: Kryptonite, by the looks of him.

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • MarkTiarra
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                          • 3833
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Couldn't resist adding to this awful discussion... =]

                                                                          This joke is from a friend who has subsequently gotte divorced... You'll see why!


                                                                          How do you make a woman orgasm?






                                                                          Who cares?!

                                                                          Retired Pornosticator

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Paul Markham
                                                                              Too old to care
                                                                              • Jun 2001
                                                                              • 52942
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Why did man invent kitchens?
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                                                                              Give her somewhere to go after I fucked her.


                                                                              Why did God give women long legs?
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                                                                              Have you seen the mess a snail leaves?

                                                                              How do Blondes turn off the lights after sex?
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                                                                              They close the car door.



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                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • NetRodent
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Jan 2002
                                                                                  • 3985
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  What's brown and sticky?








                                                                                  --




                                                                                  A stick.
                                                                                  "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."
                                                                                  --H.L. Mencken

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • ^R3K^
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Sep 2001
                                                                                      • 2815
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by NetRodent
                                                                                      What's brown and sticky?

                                                                                      --

                                                                                      A stick.
                                                                                      For some reason I love that joke!


                                                                                      Heres mine ;-))
                                                                                      -----------------------------
                                                                                      Your Mama is soooo Old, she can remember when The Dead Sea was just getting sick!
                                                                                      -----------------------------
                                                                                      no business like ho business

                                                                                      Http://www.natnet.com
                                                                                      No Hype, Just Results

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • DarkJedi
                                                                                          No Refunds Issued.
                                                                                          • Feb 2001
                                                                                          • 28301
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Q: What do you say when you see your TV floating around at night?

                                                                                          A: Drop it ****** !!



                                                                                          Q: Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?

                                                                                          A: He doesn't know he's black

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Oldy
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Sep 2002
                                                                                              • 348
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Hahahahaha.
                                                                                              Good one.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Rocky
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Jul 2001
                                                                                                  • 3022
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  a baby seal walks into a club...

                                                                                                  Are you down with Sin?

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • SykkBoy2
                                                                                                      Jesus loves bacon
                                                                                                      • Feb 2001
                                                                                                      • 19969
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
                                                                                                      The bear turns to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
                                                                                                      The Rabbit answers "No"
                                                                                                      So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
                                                                                                      Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • Forkbeard
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                                                          • 2236
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          What's better than two roses on a piano?



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                                                                                                          Two lips on an organ.
                                                                                                          Offering sponsored blog posts and custom writing services.

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • SykkBoy2
                                                                                                              Jesus loves bacon
                                                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                                                              • 19969
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

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                                                                                                              Wiped his ass
                                                                                                              Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • RedShoe
                                                                                                                  赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
                                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                  • 14831
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"



                                                                                                                  Why kind of socks does a pirate wear?
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                                                                                                                  AAARRRGGHHHhyle

                                                                                                                  Have you seen the new pirate movie?
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                                                                                                                  It's rated AAAARRRRRGGHHHH

                                                                                                                  Why did the pirate go on vacation?
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                                                                                                                  He needed a little AAARRRGHHH and AAARRRGHHH





                                                                                                                  - dedicated to MEL (she's one funny chick)

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                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Theo
                                                                                                                      HAL 9000
                                                                                                                      • May 2001
                                                                                                                      • 34515
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by SykkBoy2
                                                                                                                      A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
                                                                                                                      The bear turns to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
                                                                                                                      The Rabbit answers "No"
                                                                                                                      So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
                                                                                                                      lol,that's was great

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • Mr Cheeks
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Apr 2002
                                                                                                                          • 901
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by High Quality
                                                                                                                          I can beat it:

                                                                                                                          Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sit AROUND the house!
                                                                                                                          yo momma so fat... she got a flat on her skates, on her way to taco bell!

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • Kanoealoha
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                              • 1261
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              What do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?

                                                                                                                              Slap her and tell her get back to work.


                                                                                                                              Why did the housewife cross the street?

                                                                                                                              Who cares. Why is she outta the kitchen?
                                                                                                                              Strong Bad Rocks!

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • Oldy
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                  • 348
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ?No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.?

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • WombRaider
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                      • 159
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      LOL....those are some good jokes. My contirbution:

                                                                                                                                      Little Jonny walks in on his mother while she was in the shower. Inquisitively, Jonny asks his Mother "What is That?", pointing at her privates.

                                                                                                                                      Not knowing what to say to her youngster she replied, "That's where an elf hit me with an axe."

                                                                                                                                      Jonny replied, "Got you right in the hahahaha, huh?"

                                                                                                                                      Fred, I think I fried the motherboard.........and the fatherboard, too.

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • Jakke PNG
                                                                                                                                          ex-TeenGodFather
                                                                                                                                          • Nov 2001
                                                                                                                                          • 20306
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Dunno if this translates well...


                                                                                                                                          What's the similarity of getting head from 90 year old and being a tight-rope walker?
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                                                                                                                                          You need serious balls to look down.
                                                                                                                                          ..and I'm off.

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • GrimShawn
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Oct 2002
                                                                                                                                              • 8120
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Alright!

                                                                                                                                              What's better then winning the gold medal in the special olympics????


                                                                                                                                              Not being in it!!

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • DarkJedi
                                                                                                                                                  No Refunds Issued.
                                                                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                                                  • 28301
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by WombRaider

                                                                                                                                                  Jonny replied, "Got you right in the hahahaha, huh?"


                                                                                                                                                  ha ha ha ha ?

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • mjrools23
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Mar 2002
                                                                                                                                                      • 1604
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by BV
                                                                                                                                                      Mom gets call from school, son gets caught having sex on campus, mom is furious.

                                                                                                                                                      Mom tells dad about son when Dad comes home from work, dad pretends to be upset. :-) (really dad is proud!)

                                                                                                                                                      Next day Dad is home when son gets back from school.
                                                                                                                                                      He says: Well son did you have sex today?

                                                                                                                                                      Son says:
                                                                                                                                                      "No Dad, My ass still hurts from yesterday!



                                                                                                                                                      Cheers!,
                                                                                                                                                      BV

                                                                                                                                                      hahahahah i like this one
                                                                                                                                                      http://www.pornstarxposed.com/

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

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