Not sure if this'll be more legendary than the ShamWow comercial just because it's blatantly obvious he's trying to repeat the success of it, but this has some brilliant quotes:
"You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slappin' your troubles away."
"You know you hate makin' salads - that's why you don't have any salad in ya diet!"
"Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life!"
"Now you're gonna have a nice...tuna...salad...look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now!"
"You're gonna love my nuts, watch this!"
"One finger...if I can do it with one finger, you can do it with your whole hand - kids can do it!"
"You know what they charge for toppings at ice cream stores? Dolla per topping at ice cream stores!"
"The reason you're gonna slap away every day...iz cuz it's so easy to clean!"
"1...2...and...pops open like that like a butterfly to clean!"
"Life's hard enough as it is, you don't wanta cry anymore!"
"Guys, we're gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time!"
"White cheese, yellow cheese"
"Tacos, fettucine, linguini, martini, bikini!"
"Just bang it, cheese comes right out"
...and of course...
"But if you CALL NOW...within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day..."
I don't know if it was he himself or someone else that came up with the concept of these infomercials, but they're fucking brilliant and smart. Idiots will be buying this shit and think their life's going to stop sucking. He may have made an epic fail of a movie but he's just fucking perfect for this shit.
51-566-514 
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