Got any good DIVORCE Jokes?

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  • CunningStunt
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2006
    • 5594
    #1

    Got any good DIVORCE Jokes?

    A mate of mine just called and said he's splitting up with his wife for good. Been on the cards a while. Got any good jokes? I'll get him drunk off his ass tonight and tell him a few.

    Q. Did ya hear Mattel introduced a "Divorced Barbie"?
    A. She comes with half of Ken's stuff.
    Tags: None
    • TripleXPrint
      Confirmed User
      • Apr 2007
      • 983
      #2
      Did you hear about the lady who divorced her husband and got half his fortune?

      She was found dead.
      Skype: Triplexprint

        Comment

        • Dame
          Confirmed User
          • May 2005
          • 354
          #3
          Here is one

          An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

            Comment

            • Eriic
              So Fucking Banned
              • Jan 2008
              • 2995
              #4
              Yes, any lady dumb enough to marry you is beyond a foolish ignorant tramp and deserves a divorce for being a moron.....

                Comment

                • Lycanthrope
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 4517
                  #5
                  Best one ever was on the show Titus.

                  Q: Do you know why divorces cost so much?
                  A: 'cause they're worth it!

                    Comment

                    • Manowar
                      jellyfish  
                      • Dec 2003
                      • 71528
                      #6
                      Originally posted by Dame
                      Here is one

                      An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

                        Comment

                        • CunningStunt
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2006
                          • 5594
                          #7
                          How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.

                            Comment

                            • Eriic
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Jan 2008
                              • 2995
                              #8
                              Originally posted by CunningStunt
                              How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.
                              So block me Asshole! Do you think my feelings would be hurt you piece of shit!

                                Comment

                                • CunningStunt
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Aug 2006
                                  • 5594
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by Eriic
                                  So block me Asshole! Do you think my feelings would be hurt you piece of shit!
                                  I can't find in the control panel where to do it.

                                    Comment

                                    • A-n-D-r-E-S
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Aug 2008
                                      • 3949
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by TripleXPrint
                                      Did you hear about the lady who divorced her husband and got half his fortune?

                                      She was found dead.
                                      That's funny...
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                                        Comment

                                        • Eriic
                                          So Fucking Banned
                                          • Jan 2008
                                          • 2995
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by CunningStunt
                                          How do I block posts from a fuckwit? This "Eriic" dick is like a foreskin irritation.
                                          You call me a fuckwit? And you don't have the brains to block a user?

                                          You are a mentally retarded DipShit

                                            Comment

                                            • CunningStunt
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Aug 2006
                                              • 5594
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Eriic
                                              You call me a fuckwit? And you don't have the brains to block a user?

                                              You are a mentally retarded DipShit
                                              Where is it?

                                                Comment

                                                • CunningStunt
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Aug 2006
                                                  • 5594
                                                  #13
                                                  Looks like the forum's not loading properly or some shit, the ignore list isn't there:

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                                                    • jalami
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • May 2004
                                                      • 845
                                                      #14
                                                      I thought marriage WAS the joke
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                                                        • Spunky
                                                          I need a beer
                                                          • Jun 2002
                                                          • 133978
                                                          #15
                                                          Heh heh.some of those are pretty good

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Daruma
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Nov 2002
                                                              • 3494
                                                              #16
                                                              a lot of divorce threads lately - seems that its in the air

                                                              RIP TD

                                                                Comment

                                                                • CunningStunt
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Aug 2006
                                                                  • 5594
                                                                  #17
                                                                  I think the statistic is 50% of marriages fail these days. I can totally relate to that, bloody hard work some days....

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • JimmiDean
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Nov 2004
                                                                      • 3433
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Young boy runs up to his father and says.....
                                                                      Dad how much does it cost to get married?
                                                                      Father says I don't know son...
                                                                      Im still paying.
                                                                      My God there's Porn on here!

                                                                      Still on the Beach !!!

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • TisMe
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Aug 2008
                                                                          • 1719
                                                                          #19
                                                                          When they say "until death do you part", thats not just a part of the vows, its setting a goal

                                                                          Can't remember who to credit that to, not mine.

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