"Why I, like hundreds of other young women, chose to be sterilised at the age of 21"

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Most girls nearing their 21st birthday might be expected to plan a party, or let it be known that a particular piece of jewellery would not go amiss to mark the occasion.

Jacquelyn Arnold decided to treat herself to an operation which sterilised her so that she would never be able to have children.

In many ways, such a decision would be disturbing at any age, but for a woman barely out of her teens it is deeply shocking - not only because she was so young, but because many will feel that it goes against the most primeval instinct inherent in a woman's character: that one day she will have children.

And yet Jacquelyn herself doesn't see it that way at all. Eight years on, the politics PhD student from London is adamant she has never suffered a moment's regret.

'It's difficult to pinpoint the moment I realised I never, ever wanted children of my own, because it's something I've always known,' says Jacquelyn, 29, who lives with her boyfriend of four years, David, 29, an advertising account manager for Microsoft.

'It wasn't a case of waking up one morning and thinking: "I don't want children, I'm going to be sterilised." I just knew.

'Even as a little girl, I was never interested in dolls or playing mums and dads in the playground. I was happier with a set of Lego bricks.

'A couple of my friends have children, but on the whole I'm not too fond of them. I'm not very good at playing with them or giving cuddles, so I tend to keep my distance.

'I also think that growing up as an only child may have exacerbated my desire not to have babies - I was very independent even as a youngster and wasn't used to being around other children.

'I don't feel any less womanly because I'm sterile, either. Femininity is about much more than being able to bear children, it's to do with your whole sense of identity and I've always been very clear about who I am and what I want.

'Having children changes everything. I have friends who will spend the foreseeable future dealing with sleepless nights, school runs and teenage tantrums, while hopefully I'll be forging a great career, living life to the full and travelling the world.'

What's intriguing about her story is that Jacquelyn is an intelligent woman who had thought deeply about her choice and was still resolved to see it through - even if she was at an age when most women are more concerned with what they wear than whether they might want children now or in the future.

The trigger for Jacquelyn actually going to a clinic and having a sterilisation, formally known as tubal occlusion, was finding out that it was available to young women after reading about it in a magazine.

'At the time, I was on the Pill, but it gave me terrible nausea and migraines. Other contraception I'd researched, like the coil or implants, carried similar potential side-effects and risks.

'I'd been with my boyfriend at the time for six months. He was 27 and told me he didn't want children either, so there was no issue between us over me being sterilised. I didn't even confide in my girlfriends, because my mind was made up and I didn't see the point of having them try to talk me out of it.'

Lengthy research showed Jacquelyn there were two choices; either take a chance with a sympathetic GP to get a referral (the NHS is reluctant to perform sterilisations on women under 30 who don't already have children), or go private and pay £500 to have the operation at a Marie Stopes clinic, the UK's leading provider of sexual and reproductive health services.

Sensing that at just 21 she would be greeted with dismay by the NHS, which performs around 40,000 female sterilisations every year, the majority on women who already have children, she bypassed her GP and went to Marie Stopes in Brixton, South London, in October 2000.

'I was still prepared for an interrogation because of my age and the doctor's first words were: "You're very young. Do you understand what sterilisation is and the implications it would have on your life?"

'But after a 30-minute conversation, she realised I had made an informed choice. I made an appointment to be sterilised a month later.'

While she plainly felt she was doing the right thing, it's clear that a woman being sterilised will have serious repercussions for her existing family - not to mention any potential husbands she might meet.

Her decision was made all the more momentous because since she is an only child, she was taking away any chance for her parents to experience the joy of being grandparents.

Jacquelyn insists that despite this, they did not try to talk her out of her decision.

'My parents were fine about it. They didn't descend into a dark depression because they will never have grandchildren. They reassured me they would support me all the way. There were no lengthy, heart-wrenching conversations.'

So it was that on a chilly December morning her then boyfriend dropped her at the clinic for her surgery.

The process of female sterilisation (which now costs £1,090 through Marie Stopes) takes around 30 minutes and involves a general anaesthetic.

Tiny incisions are made in the navel and the pubic area, through which gas is pumped to 'inflate' the woman's reproductive area, giving the surgeon room to work inside.

The fallopian tubes are either cut, tied or doubled over and secured with a ring to prevent eggs being released into the womb.

'I felt a bit groggy and my stomach was bloated and tender, but nothing too uncomfortable,' Jacquelyn recalls. 'Forty-eight hours later, I was back at work. I came off the Pill straight away.

'Sadly, your periods don't stop once you've been sterilised - you simply don't release eggs.'

Jacquelyn split from her boyfriend in 2003 after they drifted apart and admits she was nervous how her sterility would affect future relationships.

'I knew it might send some men running for the hills,' she says. 'After the break-up, I had a couple of relationships, but neither was serious enough for us to discuss having children.

'I met my current boyfriend when I was 26, and I was lucky that I knew him through a friend, so he was aware I'd been sterilised.

'David is certain he doesn't want children, either - he doesn't think he'd be a bad parent, it's just an inherent feeling that he simply doesn't want that life for himself.'

And what if Jacquelyn fell in love with another man who did want children?

She is equally bullish: 'The answer is that if he did then the relationship wouldn't work. If David one day has a change of heart, it would be the equivalent of him telling me he was gay. It would end our relationship.

'People may say that 21 was too young for me to make such an important decision to remove the choice to have my own children. Yet other women have babies at the same age, which in my view is a far greater responsibility because that little person is wholly dependent on them.

'I'm sure countless couples have children because they feel that they should, and not because they really, truly want to.'

All well and good, except that Jacquelyn fails to acknowledge that children bring a unique richness to parents' lives which no amount of money or success can match.

Julie Douglas, a spokeswoman for Marie Stopes, says most child-free women who approach them for a sterilisation are similarly sure of their own minds, even though they have never had the chance to experience motherhood for themselves.

?They?ve usually done a lot of research,? she explains. ?And they are counselled by a doctor or nurse to make sure they understand that it?s a very permanent method of contraception.

'If a woman starts to probe too much about the possibility of a reversal further down the line ? which is virtually impossible ? then alarm bells start to sound.?