Just caught my 12yr old son smoking ..........

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  • CDSmith
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • May 2001
    • 51460

    #101
    Originally posted by CosmicTang
    make him sit in a closet and smoke cigarettes until he gets sick and throws up. that ought to cure it.
    That's old sk00l! :D
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    • Phoenix
      BACON BACON BACON
      • Nov 2002
      • 35475

      #102
      holy shit....well..keep at him...im sure he is not lost...just get involved

      and dont pot such stuff here..it gives people firewood for your witch burning
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      • Tom_PM
        Porn Meister
        • Feb 2005
        • 16443

        #103
        Some of us have posted nice words and potentially helpful advice. Best to focus on the positive. ;)
        43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

        Comment

        • Spunky
          I need a beer
          • Jun 2002
          • 133978

          #104
          That's about the age I started then gradually went to smoking weed at 14.hopefully his peers will steer him away from that disgusting habit

          Comment

          • notoldschool
            Confirmed User
            • Aug 2007
            • 5687

            #105
            Originally posted by junction
            1878 posts since 2002. It's quite obvious I am a sig whore.
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            • opulence
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2005
              • 273

              #106
              I tried smoking for about 4 days when I was about 12 years old...

              On the fourth day, a friend of mine said to me in the school field

              "Brent, you're smoking too?"
              "Yeah.."
              "why?"
              "Don't know"
              "It makes your breath smell, girls won't want to talk to you, and it's really unhealthy"
              "You're right"

              Stopped smoking right then and there and haven't smoked more than 10 cigarettes in the past 13 years...
              icq: 2822543

              Comment

              • GregE
                Confirmed User
                • Jul 2004
                • 2704

                #107
                Originally posted by Due
                Mayby he feel neglected because your youngest son with Autism is taking too much attention ?
                Well, actually that would be too much attention from his point of view. But yeah, that kind of thing can be a real problem. Siblings of special needs children feel cheated on one level or another more often than not and it usually has nothing to do with "bad parenting"

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                • Kudles
                  Confirmed User
                  • Feb 2003
                  • 5477

                  #108
                  Thats sucks that it happened. Hope you have things better soon.
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                  • SmokeyTheBear
                    ►SouthOfHeaven
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 28609

                    #109
                    dont be the enforcer or he will ignore you , be his friend. Explain you wont be mad and he wont be punished if he is honest. Ask him how many smokes he smokes per day. If it is anything more than 0 you need to put the time and effort right now into making sure he stops. Chances are he is smoking regularly unless he had friends over because you just don't smoke alone unless you got a habit.

                    I realise you want to punish him , but do the opposite, take him on a camping trip so he can't be exposed to his friends or smoking.

                    Remember being a kid , forcing kids to do anything usually has the opposite effect.

                    Fill his day with things that will keep him too busy for smoking.
                    hatisblack at yahoo.com

                    Comment

                    • Agent 488
                      Registered User
                      • Feb 2006
                      • 22511

                      #110
                      eh - my parents were sweet and sober as judges - i was a fucking badass - it's not so simple to throw it at the mom's feet - i'm not some know-it-all fat nerd webmaster loser - i don't have a solution for every problem in the world.

                      Comment

                      • dynastoned
                        mmm yeah!
                        • Feb 2005
                        • 5061

                        #111
                        Originally posted by CosmicTang
                        make him sit in a closet and smoke cigarettes until he gets sick and throws up. that ought to cure it.
                        yeah give that little fucker a pack and let him smoke the whole thing infront of you until he yacks.

                        Comment

                        • Odin
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 2545

                          #112
                          Originally posted by Angelina77
                          There is always a Idiot in here, parents aren't always to blame, what cause I got a divorce, is that it?? Oh my fault right? I took his xbox away his cell phone away, my youngest son has Autism is that my fault too??? Asshole
                          I went through the same kind of childhood, nothing to cry about, but I did make hell for my mum in my teens, a lot of boys do. Truthfully, you need a man to put him inline, try calling his dad if you still keep in touch with him, and get him to put him in place - i.e. scare the shit out of him. My older brothers did it for me, and it wasn't pretty but it wouldn't of worked if it came from my mum - she tried.
                          ICQ: 637//961--015

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                          • Agent 488
                            Registered User
                            • Feb 2006
                            • 22511

                            #113
                            a kid smoking isn't the end of the world - most of my parent's generation started smoking at that age and became incredible people - don't listen to people here who couldn't raise a chia pet let alone a kid ...
                            Last edited by Agent 488; 06-05-2008, 08:24 PM.

                            Comment

                            • MikeSmoke
                              Confirmed User
                              • Nov 2002
                              • 3241

                              #114
                              Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges.

                              A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately.

                              Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument.
                              But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago.
                              And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life."

                              Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd *better* not start ;)

                              icq: 541-739-92

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                              • Adultnet
                                Confirmed User
                                • Sep 2003
                                • 8713

                                #115
                                Originally posted by MikeSmoke
                                just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. *better* not start ;)
                                If he end up smoking hard,
                                arrange him a small spot at one of the sites
                                Last edited by Adultnet; 06-06-2008, 12:09 AM.


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                                • papill0n
                                  Unregistered Abuser
                                  • Oct 2007
                                  • 15547

                                  #116
                                  All I can say is good luck Angelina . I know its not easy raising kids.

                                  Comment

                                  • CDSmith
                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                    • May 2001
                                    • 51460

                                    #117
                                    Originally posted by Socks
                                    They have friends, and you aren't their friend. You are their parent, and the more you accept the challenge and rise to it, the more your kids will look up to you, respect you, consider what you think and take your advice.

                                    More than anything, if you say you're going to do something, you HAVE to follow through. If you don't, then your words are, and will always be: completely meaningless.
                                    Originally posted by Socks
                                    I took him to all his Hockey, Soccer, Basket ball , even softball games. <---- Chauffer

                                    I was the one routing for him like he was my hero. <--- heros are higher up on the food chain than lowly parents

                                    I live in a great neighborhood, with very lil crime or if any! <--- safety net, high expectations

                                    He also (DOES HAVE DIRT BIKES AND RIDES them with his friends in my back yard) <--- Rock star image to live up to at school

                                    Great kid all around he's suspended for talking to much! <--- Kids don't get suspended for talking too much. They get suspended for refusing to follow the rules, repeatedly. I'm sure your son was a "great kid" to the teachers that told him to keep quiet, repeatedly. Your position on this matter scares me a lot, as you're siding with your son.

                                    From what I've seen as an observant kinda guy, is that parents who generally side with their kids (school's fault, stupid teacher, school sucks, it isn't forever, don't talk to my son that way, etc etc) are well, bad parents. Not saying you're one, but really, ask yourself why you would back your son up after getting kicked out of school? What are you teaching him? Can you not consider that it may be his fault?
                                    Those are actually pretty good posts.

                                    I can certainly say with conviction that while my own mother was my "friend", she was first and foremost my mother, my parent. Always there to listen and help me with problems, but when it came time for disipline she dropped the friend card pretty damn quick and wasn't at all afraid to mete out some old school punishment. My dad too for that matter, both had a lot of patience with us kids but were not shy about laying down the fucking law when we needed it.

                                    I disagree with those advising to be the kid's mooshy wooshy friend. I mean really, who the fuck is in charge here, the kids or the parents? You as the parent are supposed to know what's best for your kids, and sometimes no amount of talking to them like a friend is going to work. I'm not suggesting anyone kick the shit out of their brat, but some creative tough love is definitely in order here.
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                                    • Sam Granger
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Dec 2004
                                      • 3958

                                      #118
                                      Whats the situation with his dad?

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                                      • Vick!
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Nov 2005
                                        • 6882

                                        #119
                                        Smoking is bad, and at 12 its really worse. I hope your get it sorted.
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                                        • NikKay
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Aug 2001
                                          • 1642

                                          #120
                                          My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.

                                          I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.

                                          She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.

                                          Comment

                                          • Quagmire
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Jul 2005
                                            • 6490

                                            #121
                                            Originally posted by NikKay
                                            My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.

                                            I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.

                                            She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.
                                            Very sensible way to handle it.

                                            PS you're way too hot and young looking to have a 13yr old.

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                                            • TarPy
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Mar 2002
                                              • 758

                                              #122
                                              I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later.


                                              I only smoke when I'm really drunk...

                                              I'm only having one because it's a nice day...

                                              It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few...

                                              It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one...

                                              I wish I could quit...

                                              AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?"

                                              BOOM SMOKER AGAIN

                                              I don't fucking get cigs.
                                              Not Working

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                                              • SexSense
                                                Registered User
                                                • Jun 2008
                                                • 31

                                                #123
                                                Originally posted by Angelina77
                                                I'm so pissed off, my son is out of school right now because he is suspended. I came home when he didn't expect it and my home home smelt like smoke. He denied but yet the only one here. I'm so mad but don't know what to do! I keep trying to punish him for the last thing, then there is something new!! WTF Any parents of teens have any ideas?? JOYS OF BEING A SINGLE PARENT
                                                May be he did not inhale like George W. did... :D
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                                                • CDSmith
                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                  • May 2001
                                                  • 51460

                                                  #124
                                                  Originally posted by TarPy
                                                  I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later.


                                                  I only smoke when I'm really drunk...

                                                  I'm only having one because it's a nice day...

                                                  It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few...

                                                  It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one...

                                                  I wish I could quit...

                                                  AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?"

                                                  BOOM SMOKER AGAIN

                                                  I don't fucking get cigs.
                                                  My best friend in high school started out that way exactly, was sure he could play it cool and just have one when he felt like, mr cool guy when out drinking, a couple puffs at the party after.... then one day I noticed he was smoking all the time and called him on it. Yep... hooked.

                                                  25+ years later he's still hooked.
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                                                  • Mister E
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • May 2007
                                                    • 958

                                                    #125
                                                    Originally posted by sicone
                                                    That sucks. My son is almost 10 and I'm not looking forward to his teen yrs.

                                                    my son just turned 16

                                                    look forward to it my friend....

                                                    cool teens make the best people.

                                                    we are lucky, my guess is parentd in Darfur wish their worst concern was kidws smoking.

                                                    he's just trying to be cool, look what other kids do in the name of cool.



                                                    ...by the way, expect idiots to give harsh advise on parenting, they live to do do....
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                                                    • testpie
                                                      Mostly retired
                                                      • Apr 2006
                                                      • 3231

                                                      #126
                                                      Originally posted by buyandsell
                                                      at least its not crack
                                                      Or the cock.

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                                                      • Matyko
                                                        PsyHead
                                                        • Aug 2005
                                                        • 8674

                                                        #127
                                                        Originally posted by Adult Lounge - Brad
                                                        Educate how bad it is for him. Also show him how smoking is not even cool anymore.
                                                        :D It is hard to believe you're not kidding with an avatar like yours.. :P :D
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                                                        • Matyko
                                                          PsyHead
                                                          • Aug 2005
                                                          • 8674

                                                          #128
                                                          Originally posted by SexSense
                                                          May be he did not inhale like George W. did... :D
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                                                          • Juicy D. Links
                                                            So Fucking Banned
                                                            • Apr 2001
                                                            • 122992

                                                            #129
                                                            at least it wasny cocaine

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                                                            • Ross
                                                              Ik ben een aap
                                                              • Sep 2002
                                                              • 18874

                                                              #130
                                                              I'm 25 years old and don't have kids. I never caused my mum much trouble when I was younger, I had my moments of course like everyone but on the whole I believe I was ok growing up. My parents split up when I was about 9 so to the people thinking thats the reason for this don't believe that. I never smoked, never even tried it. I didn't start drinking alcohol till I was almost 17 when I met my gf and we started going out with our group of friends.

                                                              I'm in no position to tell you what to do here but anytime I started to get a little cheeky to my mum I was grounded, my mum even told my Grandpa and Gran what I had done to embarass me (and trust me this worked - I hated knowing my Grandpa was pissed at me) and she would tell my bigger cousins who I looked up to what a cheeky little shit I was being. Stupid things like this worked. I'd say talk to your kid, ask him why he wants to start smoking... Do his friends do it and if so tell him he doesn't need to do it coz they do. Infact in a few years if they are still doing it they'll be wishing their parents caught them when you caught your kid.

                                                              Hope it works out for you.

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Spunky
                                                                I need a beer
                                                                • Jun 2002
                                                                • 133978

                                                                #131
                                                                Spare the rod,spoil the child

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                                                                • mynameisyep
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Oct 2007
                                                                  • 233

                                                                  #132
                                                                  as long as you tighten his freedome the more he will become a black sheep. This is my advice... Try to consider him as his brother/sister and get his mode of attention then feel like your best friend, then when you get his attention that's the time to tell what you like and dislike as a parent
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