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holy shit....well..keep at him...im sure he is not lost...just get involved
and dont pot such stuff here..it gives people firewood for your witch burningTelegram PhoenixBrad
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Some of us have posted nice words and potentially helpful advice. Best to focus on the positive. ;)43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.
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That's about the age I started then gradually went to smoking weed at 14.hopefully his peers will steer him away from that disgusting habitComment
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No doubt one may quote history to support any cause, as the devil quotes scripture.
-- Learned Hand
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I tried smoking for about 4 days when I was about 12 years old...
On the fourth day, a friend of mine said to me in the school field
"Brent, you're smoking too?"
"Yeah.."
"why?"
"Don't know"
"It makes your breath smell, girls won't want to talk to you, and it's really unhealthy"
"You're right"
Stopped smoking right then and there and haven't smoked more than 10 cigarettes in the past 13 years...icq: 2822543Comment
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Thats sucks that it happened. Hope you have things better soon.Comment
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dont be the enforcer or he will ignore you , be his friend. Explain you wont be mad and he wont be punished if he is honest. Ask him how many smokes he smokes per day. If it is anything more than 0 you need to put the time and effort right now into making sure he stops. Chances are he is smoking regularly unless he had friends over because you just don't smoke alone unless you got a habit.
I realise you want to punish him , but do the opposite, take him on a camping trip so he can't be exposed to his friends or smoking.
Remember being a kid , forcing kids to do anything usually has the opposite effect.
Fill his day with things that will keep him too busy for smoking.hatisblack at yahoo.comComment
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eh - my parents were sweet and sober as judges - i was a fucking badass - it's not so simple to throw it at the mom's feet - i'm not some know-it-all fat nerd webmaster loser - i don't have a solution for every problem in the world.Comment
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I went through the same kind of childhood, nothing to cry about, but I did make hell for my mum in my teens, a lot of boys do. Truthfully, you need a man to put him inline, try calling his dad if you still keep in touch with him, and get him to put him in place - i.e. scare the shit out of him. My older brothers did it for me, and it wasn't pretty but it wouldn't of worked if it came from my mum - she tried.ICQ: 637//961--015Comment
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a kid smoking isn't the end of the world - most of my parent's generation started smoking at that age and became incredible people - don't listen to people here who couldn't raise a chia pet let alone a kid ...Last edited by Agent 488; 06-05-2008, 08:24 PM.Comment
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Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges.
A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately.
Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument.
But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago.
And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life."
Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd *better* not start ;)
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Last edited by Adultnet; 06-06-2008, 12:09 AM.
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All I can say is good luck Angelina . I know its not easy raising kids.Comment
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Those are actually pretty good posts.
I can certainly say with conviction that while my own mother was my "friend", she was first and foremost my mother, my parent. Always there to listen and help me with problems, but when it came time for disipline she dropped the friend card pretty damn quick and wasn't at all afraid to mete out some old school punishment. My dad too for that matter, both had a lot of patience with us kids but were not shy about laying down the fucking law when we needed it.
I disagree with those advising to be the kid's mooshy wooshy friend. I mean really, who the fuck is in charge here, the kids or the parents? You as the parent are supposed to know what's best for your kids, and sometimes no amount of talking to them like a friend is going to work. I'm not suggesting anyone kick the shit out of their brat, but some creative tough love is definitely in order here.Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!
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Whats the situation with his dad?
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Smoking is bad, and at 12 its really worse. I hope your get it sorted.Comment
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My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.
I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.
She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.Comment
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I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later.
I only smoke when I'm really drunk...
I'm only having one because it's a nice day...
It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few...
It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one...
I wish I could quit...
AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?"
BOOM SMOKER AGAIN
I don't fucking get cigs.Not WorkingComment
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May be he did not inhale like George W. did... :DI'm so pissed off, my son is out of school right now because he is suspended. I came home when he didn't expect it and my home home smelt like smoke. He denied but yet the only one here. I'm so mad but don't know what to do! I keep trying to punish him for the last thing, then there is something new!! WTF Any parents of teens have any ideas??
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My best friend in high school started out that way exactly, was sure he could play it cool and just have one when he felt like, mr cool guy when out drinking, a couple puffs at the party after.... then one day I noticed he was smoking all the time and called him on it. Yep... hooked.
25+ years later he's still hooked.Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!
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my son just turned 16
look forward to it my friend....
cool teens make the best people.
we are lucky, my guess is parentd in Darfur wish their worst concern was kidws smoking.
he's just trying to be cool, look what other kids do in the name of cool.
...by the way, expect idiots to give harsh advise on parenting, they live to do do....[email protected] ICQ 382987380
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at least it wasny cocaineComment
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I'm 25 years old and don't have kids. I never caused my mum much trouble when I was younger, I had my moments of course like everyone but on the whole I believe I was ok growing up. My parents split up when I was about 9 so to the people thinking thats the reason for this don't believe that. I never smoked, never even tried it. I didn't start drinking alcohol till I was almost 17 when I met my gf and we started going out with our group of friends.
I'm in no position to tell you what to do here but anytime I started to get a little cheeky to my mum I was grounded, my mum even told my Grandpa and Gran what I had done to embarass me (and trust me this worked - I hated knowing my Grandpa was pissed at me) and she would tell my bigger cousins who I looked up to what a cheeky little shit I was being. Stupid things like this worked. I'd say talk to your kid, ask him why he wants to start smoking... Do his friends do it and if so tell him he doesn't need to do it coz they do. Infact in a few years if they are still doing it they'll be wishing their parents caught them when you caught your kid.
Hope it works out for you.Comment
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as long as you tighten his freedome the more he will become a black sheep. This is my advice... Try to consider him as his brother/sister and get his mode of attention then feel like your best friend, then when you get his attention that's the time to tell what you like and dislike as a parent
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