some real groaners in here :)

I changed my iPod name to Titanic; it's syncing now.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the Wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went and then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny ? period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
There?s a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory; I hope there's no pop quiz.
The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.
The toilets in New York's police stations were stolen and police have
nothing to go on.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro ? what a rip-off!
Cartoonist found dead in home; details are sketchy.
The recent earthquake in Washington was obviously the government's fault