MY PORN LETTER: To The Illegal Tube Site Owners!

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  • xxxjay
    Tube groupie.
    • Aug 2002
    • 13482

    #1

    MY PORN LETTER: To The Illegal Tube Site Owners!

    So, you think it?s cool to swap MP3s? Sure, I?ve downloaded a song or ten thousand in my time, however: Under no circumstances: Should you ever, ever share PORN! That?s right, our beloved American institution is already in enough financial trouble. The ?talent? doesn?t get paid enough as it is! NOW, there?s barely enough incentive for a maladjusted teen with low self-esteem and a meth habit to start doing triple anal on film!

    The cash pornographers lose to PORN THIEVES will translate to pay cuts to the porn girls. As money becomes scarce, the talent pool will dry up. Then people left still buying porn will diminish and sales will plummet. Revenue streams will dry up and Adult industry will go bankrupt.

    With no more funds for lawyers, the good folks that run jizz become victims of a republican Witch-hunt and sent to prison. As the studios start fold, millions of Americans, who were quietly leading decent lives behind the scenes in porn will become displaced. These poor souls, unable to find work because of their past, will turn to violent crime. This will overload the court system with the influx of unemployed smut peddlers.

    With all the smut peddlers in jail: Porn movies will become a memory of the distant past ? only living as a distant flicker on some file-sharing network!

    With the industry out if the way: YOU will the only person the goon squad to come for! The prison system will bog down even more. Eventually, the number of Americans incarcerated will outnumber those on the street. A giant multi-billion dollar sized hole will be left in the economy.

    The county will fall into disarray. Merciless budget cuts will be made. Medicare will go first. With the lack of healthcare, new strains of disease will form and reach pandemic levels quickly. With the death of porn, billions will shut off their computers, causing a massive surge on the power grid; leaving the United States powerless.

    The only modern connivance left will be automobiles: which the survivors will turn to for heat, shelter and power. The massive release of hydrocarbons will kill all plant life, worldwide oxygen levels will plummet, and pollution will be so thick that it will eventually black out the sun ? thus ending all life, as we know it.

    As a last result of the cataclysm, the Moon will be knocked off kilter, and it will collide with the now dead Earth ? sending us hurtling into deep space.

    Over millions of years, the remnants our planet will be eroded by the cosmic winds, and will reduce Terra Firma to chunks of astral debris. If we are lucky, the chunks of our once mighty civilization will reenter another world as a shooting star for alien beings to make a wish on?all because:

    They were smart enough to NEVER STEAL PORN!!!!

    Jay
    http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/
  • Dennis Rodman
    So Fucking Banned
    • Jan 2005
    • 1060

    #2
    nice one Jay

    Comment

    • cranki
      Confirmed User
      • Feb 2005
      • 5162

      #3
      This reminds me of the Busty Rhymes intro on Extinction Level Event:

      "Daddy, what's it gonna be like in the year 2000?"

      "Well, sweatheart, for your sake I hope it'll be all peaches and cream
      But I'm afraid the endtime is near
      The Cataclysmic Apacalypse referred to the scriptures of every holy book known
      to mankind
      It will be an era froughtwith boundless greed and corruption
      Where global monotary systems disinigrate leaving brother to kill brother
      For a grain of overcooked rice
      The nations of the civilized world will collapse under the appressive weight
      of
      paracidic political conspiracies
      Which remove all hope and optimism from their once faithful citizens
      Around the globe generations of polluters will be punished for their sins
      Unshielded by the ozone layer they have successfully depleated
      Left to bake in the seering naked rays of light
      Wholesale acsassination serve to destablize every remaining government
      Leaving the starving and wicked defend for themselves
      Blood-thirsty renegade cyborgs created by tax dodge in corporations recavoch
      Pissed off ambroids tired of being slaves to a Godless and gutless system
      Where the rich get richer and the poor get fucked over and out
      Unleashed worldwide destruction by means of nuclear Holocaust
      Enialating the terrified masses
      Leaving in its torturious way nothing but vicious canibalistic mutating
      radiating
      And horribly disfigured ords of satanic killers, begged on revenge, but
      against doom
      There are so few left alive, starvation rain supreme
      Forcing our lucky survivors to eat anything and anyone in thrie path
      Massive earthquakes crack the planet's crust like a hollow egg shell
      Causing unending volcanic eruptions
      Creatures of the seven seas unable to escape to certain death upon land
      Boiling in their liquid prison, disease encircles the earth
      Plagues and viruses, with no known cause or cure, laying waste whatever draws
      breath
      And human kind having proven itself to be nothing more than a race of ruthless
      scavengers
      Fall victim to merciless attack on the hands of interplanetary alien tribes
      Who seek to pelker or chorb remains
      This is Extinction Level Event, the final world front and there is only one
      year left"

      "That's cool, I can't hardly wait!"

      "You don't have to because here it is...because here it is...because here it is"

      Comment

      • xxxjay
        Tube groupie.
        • Aug 2002
        • 13482

        #4
        I meant to write "MY OPEN LETTER" - damn these 6 am drunks!
        http://donttellmehowtoruinmylife.com/ - http://www.jmdigitalmarketing.com/my...s-and-reviews/ - http://www.wouldyouhitit.org - http://shinyobjectreviews.com/

        Comment

        • just a punk
          So fuckin' bored
          • Jun 2003
          • 32385

          #5
          xxxjay,

          That's a good letter, but... do you really think that illegal tube owners will care of it? They are acting according to this simple rule: "take it and run!"
          Obey the Cowgod

          Comment

          • LeRoy
            Porn Pusher
            • Jul 2007
            • 13362

            #6
            Nice one Jay Fuck the thieves
            JAPANESE CAMS AND CONTENT SITES
            Teams - leroy.rowland2
            Telegram - @lroddd

            Comment

            • Darkhorse
              Horsing Around
              • Sep 2002
              • 5882

              #7
              You need to drink more buddy....

              Comment

              • Klen
                • Aug 2006
                • 32234

                #8
                Originally posted by xxxjay
                I meant to write "MY OPEN LETTER" - damn these 6 am drunks!
                Actualy it sounds better porn letter

                Comment

                • Chest Rockwell
                  Confirmed User
                  • Feb 2007
                  • 137

                  #9
                  Damn, PornLetter.com is taken

                  Make Major Mainstream $$$ with our Whatchamacallits

                  Comment

                  • CarlosTheGaucho
                    Confirmed User
                    • Oct 2005
                    • 9570

                    #10
                    that's a great open porn letter.. i've also got a couple of whiskey powered deja vus yesterday..
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                    Comment

                    • DirtyRichFilms
                      Registered User
                      • Apr 2008
                      • 16

                      #11
                      Fuckin' right! I don't wanna die!
                      America Loves Bush @ DIRTYRICHFILMS.com
                      [email protected]

                      Comment

                      • Grapesoda
                        So Fucking Banned
                        • Jul 2003
                        • 46234

                        #12
                        Originally posted by xxxjay

                        The ?talent? doesn?t get paid enough as it is! NOW, there?s barely enough incentive for a maladjusted teen with low self-esteem and a meth habit to start doing triple anal on film!
                        that's a fuckin' joke for sure

                        Comment

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