MaxCash $1,002,000.00 PROMO! THAT'S RIGHT, I said ONE MILLION & Two-Thousand $'s!!!

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  • picaso
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jun 2007
    • 11247
    #1351
    How many Windows support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
    Well, we have an exact copy of your bulb here, and it works fine.Did you check your CONFIG.SYS?

      Comment

      • picaso
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Jun 2007
        • 11247
        #1352
        Q: What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as it hits the windshield?.....
        A: His ass!

          Comment

          • picaso
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Jun 2007
            • 11247
            #1353
            During a Papal audience, a bussines man approached the Pope and made this offer:
            Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our day bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
            The pope declined . 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with 50 million dollar offer. The Pope again declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.At a meeting of Cardinals, the Pope announces his decission in the good/bad news format.
            The good news is......that we have 100 million dollars for Charities.The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!

              Comment

              • AmigoPorn
                Too lazy to set a custom title
                • Jul 2003
                • 21583
                #1354
                Number 830
                ICQ: 267899523


                  Comment

                  • AmigoPorn
                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                    • Jul 2003
                    • 21583
                    #1355
                    Number 569
                    ICQ: 267899523


                      Comment

                      • Sarah_Jayne
                        Now with more Jayne
                        • Dec 2002
                        • 40077
                        #1356
                        Originally posted by picaso
                        How many Windows support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
                        Well, we have an exact copy of your bulb here, and it works fine.Did you check your CONFIG.SYS?

                          Comment

                          • AmigoPorn
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Jul 2003
                            • 21583
                            #1357
                            Number 000
                            ICQ: 267899523


                              Comment

                              • AmigoPorn
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Jul 2003
                                • 21583
                                #1358
                                Number 038
                                ICQ: 267899523


                                  Comment

                                  • AmigoPorn
                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                    • Jul 2003
                                    • 21583
                                    #1359
                                    Number 043
                                    ICQ: 267899523


                                      Comment

                                      • picaso
                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                        • Jun 2007
                                        • 11247
                                        #1360
                                        Originally posted by Sarah_MaxCash
                                        if you liked that one listen to this

                                        "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
                                        Answer: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change."

                                          Comment

                                          • picaso
                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                            • Jun 2007
                                            • 11247
                                            #1361
                                            President Clinton is out jogging, and he encounters a man with some puppies. Clinton asks the man what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Democrat puppies, Mr. President."

                                            Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings the first lady to see these puppies for herself. He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies." The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies." The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"

                                              Comment

                                              • picaso
                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                • Jun 2007
                                                • 11247
                                                #1362
                                                A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.

                                                "Ouch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.

                                                Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

                                                  Comment

                                                  • picaso
                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                    • Jun 2007
                                                    • 11247
                                                    #1363
                                                    A guy comes to his friend and finds him beating his dick with a hammer.

                                                    - What are you doing?

                                                    - I'm masturbating.

                                                    - Masturbating with a hammer!? Are you enjoying it at all?

                                                    - Yes, each time I miss it.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • picaso
                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                        • Jun 2007
                                                        • 11247
                                                        #1364
                                                        A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son

                                                        Dear Son,

                                                        I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

                                                        This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

                                                        It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

                                                        The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

                                                        We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

                                                        About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

                                                        Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

                                                        Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

                                                        Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

                                                        Love, Ma

                                                          Comment

                                                          • picaso
                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                            • Jun 2007
                                                            • 11247
                                                            #1365
                                                            As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

                                                            She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

                                                            A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

                                                              Comment

                                                              • picaso
                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                • Jun 2007
                                                                • 11247
                                                                #1366
                                                                "How are women and tornadoes alike?
                                                                They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave."

                                                                So true

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • Double trouble
                                                                    So Fucking What?
                                                                    • Feb 2008
                                                                    • 22251
                                                                    #1367
                                                                    017 may be the one

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • picaso
                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                        • Jun 2007
                                                                        • 11247
                                                                        #1368
                                                                        A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says,

                                                                        "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • picaso
                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                            • Jun 2007
                                                                            • 11247
                                                                            #1369
                                                                            012 could win

                                                                              Comment

                                                                              • picaso
                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                • Jun 2007
                                                                                • 11247
                                                                                #1370
                                                                                024 may win

                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                  • picaso
                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                    • Jun 2007
                                                                                    • 11247
                                                                                    #1371
                                                                                    025 bling bling

                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                      • picaso
                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                        • Jun 2007
                                                                                        • 11247
                                                                                        #1372
                                                                                        028 could win

                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                          • picaso
                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                            • Jun 2007
                                                                                            • 11247
                                                                                            #1373
                                                                                            Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.

                                                                                            In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

                                                                                            The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.

                                                                                            Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • picaso
                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                • Jun 2007
                                                                                                • 11247
                                                                                                #1374
                                                                                                Late one night in Washington, D.C., a mugger jumped a well-dressed man and held a gun to his ribs.

                                                                                                "Give me your money!" he demanded. The man stiffened, but said indignantly, "You can't do this to me - I'm a U. S. Congressman!"

                                                                                                "In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                  • jasminexxx
                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                    • Aug 2006
                                                                                                    • 13816
                                                                                                    #1375
                                                                                                    number 277 ?

                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                      • AZSarah
                                                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                                                        • Oct 2006
                                                                                                        • 1651
                                                                                                        #1376
                                                                                                        I love all the jokes!

                                                                                                        Icq- 470-936-598

                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                          • joker78
                                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                                            • Apr 2006
                                                                                                            • 4444
                                                                                                            #1377
                                                                                                            257 will be

                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                              • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                • 13816
                                                                                                                #1378
                                                                                                                number 806

                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                  • AmigoPorn
                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                    • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                    • 21583
                                                                                                                    #1379
                                                                                                                    Number 051
                                                                                                                    ICQ: 267899523


                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                      • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                        • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                        • 13816
                                                                                                                        #1380
                                                                                                                        number 220

                                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                                          • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                            • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                            • 13816
                                                                                                                            #1381
                                                                                                                            number 820

                                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                                              • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                • 13816
                                                                                                                                #1382
                                                                                                                                number 277

                                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                                  • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                    • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                    • 13816
                                                                                                                                    #1383
                                                                                                                                    number 380

                                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                                      • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                        • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                        • 13816
                                                                                                                                        #1384
                                                                                                                                        number 368

                                                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                                                          • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                            • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                            • 13816
                                                                                                                                            #1385
                                                                                                                                            A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

                                                                                                                                            The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

                                                                                                                                            After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma' am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'

                                                                                                                                            The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't . He just walked in the door.'

                                                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                                                              • jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                                • 13816
                                                                                                                                                #1386
                                                                                                                                                number 390

                                                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                                                  • AmigoPorn
                                                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                    • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                                                    • 21583
                                                                                                                                                    #1387
                                                                                                                                                    Number 094
                                                                                                                                                    ICQ: 267899523


                                                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                                                      • respect
                                                                                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                        • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                        • 18399
                                                                                                                                                        #1388
                                                                                                                                                        Number 098 ?

                                                                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                                                                          • respect
                                                                                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                            • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                            • 18399
                                                                                                                                                            #1389
                                                                                                                                                            could it be 038 ?

                                                                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                                                                              • respect
                                                                                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                                • 18399
                                                                                                                                                                #1390
                                                                                                                                                                could it be 082 ?

                                                                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                                                                  • picaso
                                                                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                    • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                    • 11247
                                                                                                                                                                    #1391
                                                                                                                                                                    400 is mine

                                                                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                                                                      • picaso
                                                                                                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                        • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                        • 11247
                                                                                                                                                                        #1392
                                                                                                                                                                        winner post 691

                                                                                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                                                                                          • respect
                                                                                                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                            • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                                            • 18399
                                                                                                                                                                            #1393
                                                                                                                                                                            could it be 071 ?

                                                                                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                                                                                              • AZSarah
                                                                                                                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                • Oct 2006
                                                                                                                                                                                • 1651
                                                                                                                                                                                #1394
                                                                                                                                                                                Originally posted by jasminexxx
                                                                                                                                                                                A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

                                                                                                                                                                                The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

                                                                                                                                                                                After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma' am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'

                                                                                                                                                                                The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't . He just walked in the door.'

                                                                                                                                                                                scandalous!
                                                                                                                                                                                Icq- 470-936-598

                                                                                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                  • picaso
                                                                                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                                    • 11247
                                                                                                                                                                                    #1395
                                                                                                                                                                                    Two friends:

                                                                                                                                                                                    - I heard that you have founded a musical band.

                                                                                                                                                                                    - Yes, it is a quartet.

                                                                                                                                                                                    - How many are you?

                                                                                                                                                                                    - We are three.

                                                                                                                                                                                    - Three?

                                                                                                                                                                                    - Me and my brother.

                                                                                                                                                                                    - You have a brother?

                                                                                                                                                                                    - No, why do you ask?

                                                                                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                      • BigMax
                                                                                                                                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                        • Feb 2008
                                                                                                                                                                                        • 4139
                                                                                                                                                                                        #1396
                                                                                                                                                                                        Joke:
                                                                                                                                                                                        My friend found great software for managing files - Total Commander. He run the program and see at left: drive C:, at right: drive C: . He think - I don't need two drives C: ... so, he formatted one...

                                                                                                                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                          • respect
                                                                                                                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                            • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                                                            • 18399
                                                                                                                                                                                            #1397
                                                                                                                                                                                            could it be 028 ?

                                                                                                                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                              • picaso
                                                                                                                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                                • Jun 2007
                                                                                                                                                                                                • 11247
                                                                                                                                                                                                #1398
                                                                                                                                                                                                my new #091

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                  • respect
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                                                                    • 18399
                                                                                                                                                                                                    #1399
                                                                                                                                                                                                    could it be 086 ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                      • respect
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Nov 2005
                                                                                                                                                                                                        • 18399
                                                                                                                                                                                                        #1400
                                                                                                                                                                                                        could it be 062 ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Comment

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