my try 684
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Guessing 130ICQ: 267899523
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775 winner ?Comment
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800 maybe
i like wafflesComment
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Guessing 192ICQ: 267899523
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my try 520Comment
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Guessing 129ICQ: 267899523
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774 winner ?Comment
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Guessing 133ICQ: 267899523
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Jokes!
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A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff.
The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. "This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I'm not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch."
The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch.
The man takes a sip and spits it out on the bar. "This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won't pay for this, and I insist on, a good, 12-year-old scotch.
The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch.
The man sips the drink and says, "Now that's more like it."
An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him and asks, "What do you think of this?"
The scotch expert takes a sip, and in disgust, violently spits out the liquid yelling "Why, this tastes like piss," to which the old drunk replies, "That's right, now tell me how old I am."i like wafflesComment
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last try 670Comment
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Guessing 140ICQ: 267899523
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759 winner ?Comment
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Guessing 139ICQ: 267899523
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Joke for Tuesday #2
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Whilst enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.
The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, the spent young bloke rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.
Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the bloke begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?"
"No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke.
Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."i like wafflesComment
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Guessing 144ICQ: 267899523
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137 winner ?Comment
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Guessing 147ICQ: 267899523
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Joke for Tuesday #3
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This woman is sitting in a bar, wearing some sort of tube top. She has never shaved her armpits in her entire life, so as a result, she has a thick black bush under each arm. Every 20 minutes, she raises her arm up and flags the bartender for another drink.
This goes on all night. The other people in the bar see her hairy pits every time she raises her arm. Near the end of the night, this drunk at the end of the bar says to the bartender, "Hey, I'd like to buy the ballerina a drink".
The bartender replies, "She's not a ballerina. What makes you think she's a ballerina?"
The drunk says, "Any girl that can lift her LEG that high has to be a ballerina!"i like wafflesComment
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maybe 600Comment
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Joke for Tuesday #4
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $ 2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well wash your damn hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"i like wafflesComment
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maybe 601Comment
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176 winner ?Comment
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maybe 609Comment
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640 my tip
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Joke for Tuesday #5
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This guy does into a bar and says, "Hey barman, give me 6 double vodka's!"
The barman lines them up on the bar and goes, "Man, you must've had one hell of a day!"
The guy says, "Yeah, I just found out my older brother is gay."
Next day, the same guy comes into the same bar and orders the same drinks. The same barman is there and goes, "Now what?"
The guy goes, "I just found out my younger brother is gay, too."
Next day, same guy, same bar, same drinks. The barman goes,"Damn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man replies, "Yeah, my wife!"i like wafflesComment
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161 winnerComment
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maybe 612Comment
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Joke for Tuesday #6
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Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, "Jeez, I'd really like to dance with that girl."
The other man replies, "Well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit."
So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"
Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "I'm sorry. Right now I'm concentrating on matrimony and I'd rather sit than dance."
So the man humbly returns to his friend.
"So what did she say?" asks the friend.
The drunk responded, "She said she's constipated on macaroni and would rather shit in her pants."i like wafflesComment
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188 could be luckyComment
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maybe 614Comment
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175 winnerComment
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maybe 618Comment
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189 is hereComment
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maybe 630Comment
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174 winnerComment
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Joke for Tuesday #7
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A man comes to a bar and yells: "QUICK!!!! Give me a glass of beer!!! Before IT gets started!!!"
A bartender goes: "What started?! What are you talking about?!"
"No questions. Just give me the beer, faster!!!"
He drinks the beer and screams again: "One more, hurry up!!! Before it gets started!!!"
"What started?!"
"Nevermind!!! Give me my beer!!!"
He drinks the second glass and continues: "Third glass!!! Faster!!! Before it gets started!!! Do it!!!"
Finally, the bartender asks: "Hey, pal. Are you gonna pay?!"
And the man goes: "Damn! It's started..."i like wafflesComment
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maybe 672Comment
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165 winnerComment
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maybe 673Comment
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162 winnerComment
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190 for meComment
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maybe 170Comment
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151 winnerComment
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Joke for Tuesday #8
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This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender.
The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar.
The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" he says to the first duck.
"Huey," said the first duck.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day."
"Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender.
Then he says to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again."
So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie."
"No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my damn day."i like wafflesComment
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maybe 173Comment
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149 winnerComment
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maybe 185Comment
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