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Halcyon

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#1

What are your New Year's Resolutions?

12-28-2007, 01:43 PM

Here are mine:

#

Stop using the phrase, ?stinky finger.?

#

Wean myself off Phonics (I?m hooked)

#

Convince my Dad that he?s gay.

#

Avoid Subway Sandwiches (Life is too short to eat a sub where the Mayo is applied with a squeeze-bottle)

#

Rip out Puff Daddy?s vocal cords and flay him mercilessly across the buttocks.

#

Figure out what?s causing that rash.

#

Limber-up enough to perform self-fellatio (If I achieve this, my blog will go on an indefinite hiatus)

#

Apologize to each member of the NFL for failing to take an interest in their sport.

#

Get all my friends to sign my cast. (break arm if necessary)

#

Get over my necrophilia hang-up.

#

Lobby to get ?Y? the full vowel status it deserves.

#

Learn to tell the difference between a ?normal? and an ?unhealthy? discharge

#

Only wear fur coats that block harmful UV rays.

#

Read the articles in Playboy ( I hear they?re very good)

#

Boycott all Marijuana grown in Iraq.

#

Work to lift the taboo on the words, ?felching? and ?smegma?

#

Stop staring at my co-workers breasts while they talk.

#

Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way.

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#2

12-28-2007, 01:44 PM

To quit being an asshole to people!
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#3

12-28-2007, 01:44 PM

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?
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Halcyon

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#4

12-28-2007, 01:51 PM

Originally posted by minddust

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

holy crap.... why did I click that!?

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#5

12-28-2007, 01:58 PM

I sell short retinas
Installation fees waived

That's a Bargain
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#6

12-28-2007, 02:02 PM

Originally posted by Halcyon

Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way.

I'm stealing that one.

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Halcyon

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#7

12-28-2007, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by minddust

I sell short retinas
Installation fees waived

That's a Bargain

LOL!

no deal!~

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#8

12-28-2007, 02:47 PM

Very funny Hal.
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Halcyon

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#9

12-28-2007, 03:06 PM

Originally posted by tony404

Very funny Hal.

Thanks! (and happy holidays, btw!)
That was 3 years ago. I have 2 more lists. (Sometimes I wonder about myself.)

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#10

12-28-2007, 03:15 PM

Happy New Year Halycon. I was looking at your 'fossil' pic on flickr yesterday, very moving stuff mate. Take care hey.
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#11

12-28-2007, 03:18 PM

less beer, more wine

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Halcyon

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#12

12-28-2007, 03:37 PM

Originally posted by RageCash-Ben

Happy New Year Halycon. I was looking at your 'fossil' pic on flickr yesterday, very moving stuff mate. Take care hey.

Much appreciated, Ben.

Happy New Year!

You might dig this "new year's blessing" my grandpa gave a few years ago:
http://www.lifestudent.com/hub/2007/...year-blessing/

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#13

12-28-2007, 04:08 PM

hehe nice list you have there!

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#14

12-28-2007, 04:13 PM

Great resolutions Hal! Mine are much simpler.

1. exercise twice a week.

2. get my band on tour for a week

3. find a worthy girlfriend that lasts longer than 3 months(average length in LA)

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#15

12-28-2007, 04:17 PM

I resolve to enjoy life as much as possible... and get rid of some dead weight.

Sleep well, and dream of large women.
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Halcyon

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#16

12-28-2007, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by Hollywood Horwitz

Great resolutions Hal! Mine are much simpler.

1. exercise twice a week.

2. get my band on tour for a week

3. find a worthy girlfriend that lasts longer than 3 months(average length in LA)

heh...you could almost shuffle your list:

Do your girlfriend twice a week.

Go on tour for 3 months

exercise weekly.

;)

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#17

12-28-2007, 06:31 PM

More exercise and less reefer

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#18

12-28-2007, 06:39 PM

Less promiscuous sex. Or wait, was it more
Anyways, great list Hal!
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#19

12-28-2007, 06:43 PM

insure ron paul beats the final boss

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Halcyon

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#20

12-29-2007, 12:24 PM

batch number 2:

# Learn to determine remaining battery life with my tongue.
# Master the Lundy Hop.
# Floss.
# Force those punks to let me play their reindeer games
# Protest non-primary colors.
# Impregnate a reptile.
# Up my brie intake to 2 wheels/day.
# Read the fine print.
# Pick which side is my ?good side.?
# Conquer my fear of cotton.
# Regain my tetherball Championship.
# Patent my spanking machine.
# Stop teasing gravity.
# Skip to work at least 1 day a week.
# Skip work at least 1 day a week.
# Debate artificial flavors and colors.
# Tackle adversity. Tie him up. Tar and feather him.
#Have my ?Marry me, Brittany? tattoo covered up with a Celtic design or something.
# Stop blood doping for regional athletic competitions and weekend masturbation sessions.
# Ask Mom to stop calling me ?Fucko.?
# Find a teeter-totter partner closer to my age (and weight).
# Buy my *own* blow-up doll.

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#21

12-29-2007, 03:17 PM

ahhahaha that's awesome my resolutions aren't nearly as colorful.

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#22

12-29-2007, 03:30 PM

Those are 2 most excellent lists, Hal!
My resolution this year....laugh 'til my sides hurt daily

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#23

12-29-2007, 04:56 PM

I don't think I have ever in my life made a New Year's Resolution, it just seemed pointless to me, if I was going to make a change, I shouldn't need a New Year to do it...... I am twisted I know. lol

BUT this year my goal is to STOP smoking. I found out I have Type II Diabetes a few months ago and I wanted to quit before, but it was too many changes for my body at one time and the Dr advised me not to make drastic changes all at one time.......... so...

I gave it a few months and NOW it is time. For the New Year, I am going to stop smoking.

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#24

12-29-2007, 05:11 PM

nice.... just do good things!

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#25

12-29-2007, 05:19 PM

This year, I resolve to make more money. I will stop turning down money. I will stop letting money making situations escape from me (no, I won't blow you for $20). I will join the ranks of GFY sig whores. When a friend's friend's cousin offers me $25 to go over and fix his piece of shit computer, I will take it. I will revive dead sites and start new ones. I will stop spending money on stupid shit that I don't need.

I will stop being such a prick to people.

I will make an effort to enter and maintain a long-term relationship with a woman who isn't a flake and I will not run for the hills if things happen to get serious.

I will master the ukulele.

I like pie.
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#26

12-29-2007, 05:23 PM

mother of all hell.. I just puked a little. that's disgusting

Originally posted by minddust

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

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#27

12-29-2007, 09:56 PM

I have had the same resolution every year - not do heroin - I have made it 38 years without trying it.

At least I keep my resolution.

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Halcyon

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#28

12-31-2007, 10:23 AM

well done, Dan!!

Here's my last list!

# Dress like a mime for visits to my girlfriend's parents' house. Answer every question with "I'm trapped in an invisible box." gestures.
#
# Finally finish my excrement sculpture.
#
# Wear a helmet while driving and get a bumper sticker that says, "Airbags are for cheaters."
#
# Start wearing a cape. (But get my girlfriend to stop saying, "faster than a speeding bullet.")
#
# Change my voter registration to the "HugNation" party.
#
# Instead of a wallet, carry my money in a burlap sack with a "$" on it like they have in movie robberies.
#
# Try my hand at log rolling.
#
# Petition insurance carriers to recognize the medicinal uses of pornography.
#
# Shave off my eyebrows and draw them back on in a constantly "surprised" arch.
#
# Whittle a spoon out of a larger wooden spoon.
#
# Stand on a street corner with a "WILL WORK FOR BANDWIDTH" sign.
#
# Streak the winter Olympics.
#
# Explain to everyone who sees me streaking the concept of cold and "shrinkage."
#
# Work to make orange "Cheeto fingers" a vogue fashion trend in Paris
#
# Fight that public indecency charges on "Freedom of Religion" grounds.
#
# Embrace the healing benefits of urine drinking.

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#29

12-31-2007, 10:27 AM

1. Do some travelling
2. Read at least 1 book a month.
3. Sleep at least 6 hours a day
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#30

12-31-2007, 10:33 AM

Originally posted by Babaganoosh

This year, I resolve to make more money. I will stop turning down money. I will stop letting money making situations escape from me (no, I won't blow you for $20). I will join the ranks of GFY sig whores. When a friend's friend's cousin offers me $25 to go over and fix his piece of shit computer, I will take it. I will revive dead sites and start new ones. I will stop spending money on stupid shit that I don't need.

I will stop being such a prick to people.

I will make an effort to enter and maintain a long-term relationship with a woman who isn't a flake and I will not run for the hills if things happen to get serious.

I will master the ukulele.

hehe that's a good list!

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#31

12-31-2007, 10:39 AM

I'm still working on mine.

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