Four years worth of education in this thread

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  • epitome
    So Fucking Lame
    • Jun 2009
    • 12156

    #1

    Four years worth of education in this thread

    Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

    Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

    Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

    Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

    Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

    A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

    An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

    Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

    Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.

    Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

    Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.

    A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

    A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

    PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

    Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

    Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

    Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
    Hipster: You have two aurochs. You kill one and fashion it into an original leather outfit. You take pictures of the other for instagram and use its milk for Starbucks coffee.

    Cuilism: I give you a hamburger.
  • Rochard
    Jägermeister Test Pilot
    • Dec 2001
    • 75733

    #2
    that was fucking funny!
    Herschel Savage
    Brooklyn, NY

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    • PR_Glen
      Confirmed User
      • Oct 2006
      • 9058

      #3
      Originally posted by JohnnyClips
      25 years of wisdom (me) : Each person should have the right to do with their life as they see fit and not what is imposed upon them
      Move out of your parents place, you will have more freedom out there.
      webmaster at pimproll dot com

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      • geedub
        Confirmed User
        • Jun 2005
        • 3489

        #4
        Originally posted by PR_Glen
        Move out of your parents place, you will have more freedom out there.
        But then he would miss his mom's Hamburger Helper night
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        • Markul
          Likes Pie
          • Dec 2007
          • 12403

          #5
          Originally posted by PR_Glen
          Move out of your parents place, you will have more freedom out there.
          But.... I pulled out...

          Comment

          • sperbonzo
            I'd rather be on my boat.
            • May 2003
            • 9750

            #6
            Nice one.

            The only problem is the first one. You imply that in Socialism, you can voluntarily decide to give your neighbor a cow.
            Actually it should read:

            Socialism: You have 2 cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.



            Some funny ones though!


            .
            Last edited by sperbonzo; 11-28-2012, 06:37 AM.
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            • Relentless
              www.EngineFood.com
              • Aug 2006
              • 5697

              #7
              GFYism: You start by mentioning you have two cows for sale, then you post a few pics of naked women in an unrelated thread and ask if anyone would hit it. Half the replies are from people who would rather mate with the cows, the others are from cow 'experts' who claim the government has been giving away two cows to people for decades as part of an impossibly complex conspiracy. In the end you have the two cows you started with plus a whole lot of bull. ;)


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              • scuba steve
                Confirmed User
                • Oct 2008
                • 1888

                #8
                Originally posted by sperbonzo
                Nice one.

                The only problem is the first one. You imply that in Socialism, you can voluntarily decide to give your neighbor a cow.
                Actually it should read:

                Socialism: You have 2 cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.



                Some funny ones though!


                .
                eh, i don't think that's correct

                Comment

                • sperbonzo
                  I'd rather be on my boat.
                  • May 2003
                  • 9750

                  #9
                  Originally posted by scuba steve
                  eh, i don't think that's correct

                  Ok. So how would you explain socialism. Does the government ASK you if you would pretty please share with the less fortunate?





                  .
                  Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing

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                  • scuba steve
                    Confirmed User
                    • Oct 2008
                    • 1888

                    #10
                    Originally posted by sperbonzo
                    Ok. So how would you explain socialism. Does the government ASK you if you would pretty please share with the less fortunate?





                    .
                    actually thats the main difference between socialism and communism. government involvement is a lot less

                    Comment

                    • sperbonzo
                      I'd rather be on my boat.
                      • May 2003
                      • 9750

                      #11
                      Originally posted by scuba steve
                      actually thats the main difference between socialism and communism. government involvement is a lot less
                      that's right. There is a difference outlined in the OP. Communism takes both cows.

                      However this does not change the fact that under Socialism the government takes one cow. Look at what is happening in France right now, under a socialist President. If the "super rich" don't pay the government 75% of their income, will the government simply say, "Ok then. We asked, but if you don't want to, then no problem"? Or will the government send people with badges and guns and take them to jail?

                      Don't kid yourself. Sure, socialism is communism-lite, but don't think that people share as a voluntary act under socialism.




                      .
                      Last edited by sperbonzo; 11-28-2012, 07:36 AM.
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                      • NewNick
                        Confirmed User
                        • Mar 2009
                        • 7230

                        #12
                        Paul Markham : Milking cows is easy, shooting great content and selling it to magazines for $3000 a scene non exclusive like I did in the 80's, now that takes real skill.

                        DamainJ : I had two cows but lost them doing a cheap magic trick. Has anyone seen my cows ?

                        Dvtimes : Mi cowws liv in my council flat wiv me. I take pics an vids of them and call it porn.

                        Roald : I am such a fucking Whale who needs cows.

                        Johnnyclips : My cows are not cows, they are sheep. You are all sheep. David Icke is the messiah. Mind control. Blah blah blah fucking blah.

                        Shap : I had the coolest gold plated cows, but Manwin coveted my ass. Now you all want to be the Shapster.

                        DWB : The best cows may or not be bulls. You pay you money you take your chances.....

                        Fabian : You might have bought a cow, you might have fed it and cared for it - but I am taking the milk whether you like it or not. Ok you dont like it - what are you going to do about it ?
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                        • scuba steve
                          Confirmed User
                          • Oct 2008
                          • 1888

                          #13
                          Originally posted by sperbonzo
                          that's right. There is a difference outlined in the OP. Communism takes both cows.

                          However this does not change the fact that under Socialism the government takes one cow. Look at what is happening in France right now, under a socialist President. If the "super rich" don't pay the government 75% of their income, will the government simply say, "Ok then. We asked, but if you don't want to, then no problem"? Or will the government send people with badges and guns and take them to jail?

                          Don't kid yourself. Sure, socialism is communism-lite, but don't think that people share as a voluntary act under socialism.
                          not gonna lie, i haven't followed france or will not follow it, but if thats how they are functioning then i would guess that its not real socialism

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                          • madko
                            Confirmed User
                            • May 2006
                            • 566

                            #14
                            Originally posted by sperbonzo
                            Sure, socialism is communism-lite, but don't think that people share as a voluntary act under socialism.


                            Actually you got it all wrong > Communism is the lite version of Socialism )
                            in Communism:
                            - you don't pay taxes,
                            - don't pay for a house,
                            - no rent
                            - no mortgage
                            - no worries about your business is getting fucked by some big american corporation (because you have no business)
                            - no stupid elections
                            - no worries about choices you have to make (everything is already chosen for you)
                            - much healthier food (it's true it's only rice ...but what the hell :D)
                            - no bankruptcy
                            - no unemployment
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                            • Relentless
                              www.EngineFood.com
                              • Aug 2006
                              • 5697

                              #15
                              Socialism: You recognize that having 2 cows while other people around you are starving is LESS beneficial than having all the milk and meat you can eat while making sure others have at least enough so that they do not starve. Nobody takes your cows or the milk that you need... but if you find a way to make enough milk and meat for 50 people out of your two cows the government requires you to help many other people not starve once you have gotten good and fat. In return, if your two cows die - which eventually happens to all cows, you can be sure you and your family won't starve either because someone else with cows will make sure you have at least enough to survive.


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                              • Dirty F
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Jul 2001
                                • 59204

                                #16
                                Socialsm is evil.

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                                • sperbonzo
                                  I'd rather be on my boat.
                                  • May 2003
                                  • 9750

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Relentless
                                  . Nobody takes your cows or the milk that you need... but if you find a way to make enough milk and meat for 50 people out of your two cows the government requires you to help many other people .

                                  Apparently you don't see the contradiction in your own statement....






                                  .
                                  Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing

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                                  • sperbonzo
                                    I'd rather be on my boat.
                                    • May 2003
                                    • 9750

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by scuba steve
                                    not gonna lie, i haven't followed france or will not follow it, but if thats how they are functioning then i would guess that its not real socialism
                                    Name a socialist government that lets people decide whether or not they wish to "help others" voluntarily... NAME ONE PLEASE....




                                    .
                                    Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing

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                                    • trevesty
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Aug 2006
                                      • 3810

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                      Name a socialist government that lets people decide whether or not they wish to "help others" voluntarily... NAME ONE PLEASE....




                                      .
                                      There's no functioning example of pure socialism currently.

                                      Or even close to it really.

                                      Just because someone's party is called "socialist", doesn't mean they're, by definition, socialist.
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                                      • sperbonzo
                                        I'd rather be on my boat.
                                        • May 2003
                                        • 9750

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by trevesty
                                        There's no functioning example of pure socialism currently.

                                        Or even close to it really.

                                        Just because someone's party is called "socialist", doesn't mean they're, by definition, socialist.
                                        so·cial·ism

                                        noun /ˈsōSHəˌlizəm/ 

                                        A political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole

                                        Policy or practice based on this theory

                                        (in Marxist theory) A transitional social state between the overthrow of capitalism and the realization of communism



                                        What you guys are talking about is not socialism, it's communitarianism. It's a small community of individuals that all decide together, and voluntarily, to live in the community together and share everything that they have. Every other system, including socialism, involves government coercion at some level. ALWAYS. If you don't want to pay "your share", the government either comes and takes it, or takes you to jail, or both.



                                        .
                                        Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing

                                        [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/

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                                        • madko
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • May 2006
                                          • 566

                                          #21
                                          The fact is Socialism is just a way of keeping the people under control. It's not perfect(can't be) .. but some social things have to be made in order to keep the hoards under control. It's not about the people, or their well being, it's about the class that controls the people.
                                          So, in my opinion a real capitalist would not see the capitalism without a social component.

                                          In your own company, you are interested in the well being of your employees because .. if they are happy, your company is doing better, and you'll be doing even better. That's why you will offer them medical care, parties, gifts, and other benefits (that's your social component in your company)
                                          Last edited by madko; 11-28-2012, 09:45 AM.
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                                          • trevesty
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Aug 2006
                                            • 3810

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                            so·cial·ism

                                            noun /ˈsōSHəˌlizəm/ 

                                            A political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole

                                            Policy or practice based on this theory

                                            (in Marxist theory) A transitional social state between the overthrow of capitalism and the realization of communism



                                            What you guys are talking about is not socialism, it's communitarianism. It's a small community of individuals that all decide together, and voluntarily, to live in the community together and share everything that they have. Every other system, including socialism, involves government coercion at some level. ALWAYS. If you don't want to pay "your share", the government either comes and takes it, or takes you to jail, or both.



                                            .
                                            That doesn't really have anything to do with what I said, but I tend to stray away from debates on here. Carry on.
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                                            • inabon
                                              Good Old Fat Webmaster
                                              • Jul 2002
                                              • 970

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                              If you don't want to pay "your share", the government either comes and takes it, or takes you to jail, or both.



                                              .
                                              right here you just described the IRS and US government.... things that make you go hummm

                                              if you don´t want to pay you donate and stick it in a tax deduction capitalist "sharing"
                                              Whoever dies with most toys wins.

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                                              • scuba steve
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Oct 2008
                                                • 1888

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                                Name a socialist government that lets people decide whether or not they wish to "help others" voluntarily... NAME ONE PLEASE....




                                                .
                                                a true socialist society doesn't exist that i'm aware of because of human greed. people aren't cool with sharing and not trying to do better than the other

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                                                • madko
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • May 2006
                                                  • 566

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by scuba steve
                                                  a true socialist society doesn't exist that i'm aware of because of human greed. people aren't cool with sharing and not trying to do better than the other
                                                  They've tried -> that's called communism .. but it has it's flaws to
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                                                  • scuba steve
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Oct 2008
                                                    • 1888

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by madko
                                                    They've tried -> that's called communism .. but it has it's flaws to
                                                    starts as socialism, turns into communism

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                                                    • madko
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • May 2006
                                                      • 566

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by scuba steve
                                                      starts as socialism, turns into communism
                                                      in eastern Europe .. it was like this:
                                                      1. monarchy - autocracy
                                                      > 2. constitutional monarchy - some capitalism
                                                      > 3. wwii > socialism> communism
                                                      >4. '89 > socialism (neocommunism)
                                                      > TODAY > Corporatism(capitalism in the eyes of state, autocracy with employees) .

                                                      SO .. nothing is perfect :D and it's kind of a circle
                                                      Last edited by madko; 11-28-2012, 10:13 AM.
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                                                      • Asparaguss
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Nov 2012
                                                        • 386

                                                        #28
                                                        Haha thats good!


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                                                        • Imortyl Pussycat
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Apr 2006
                                                          • 5449

                                                          #29
                                                          this thread is funny and educational, my fave of the day
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                                                          • CPimp
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Aug 2009
                                                            • 2346

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by JohnnyClips
                                                            The government doesn't help poor people. They keep people poor because they need poor people
                                                            In case people haven't noticed, it's now easier than it's ever been to get approved for food stamps and other government assistance, where back in the day, if you worked part time at $7/hr you made too much money, so they denied you.

                                                            In my personal opinion, the government is very clearly WANTING more people to depend on it for even the most basic necessity - food. What I don't know yet, is WHY?

                                                            It's not like they give a fuck about their own people, the ones who actually LIVE on American soil. They'd rather hand out millions and billions of dollars to shitbag countries around the world who don't even appreciate the gesture rather than fix the problems that plague our own streets. Fuck this form of government - I'm sure our founding fathers are turning in their graves at the thought of this pathetic path their country has taken.
                                                            three 997 three 55 three 1 ← That's my ICQ. Contact me there. Thanks.

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                                                            • sperbonzo
                                                              I'd rather be on my boat.
                                                              • May 2003
                                                              • 9750

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by inabon
                                                              right here you just described the IRS and US government.... things that make you go hummm

                                                              if you don´t want to pay you donate and stick it in a tax deduction capitalist "sharing"
                                                              I actually described EVERY government on the planet. It's simply a matter of degree, that's all, and the US government is definitely getting out of control. (The FATCA regulations are a perfect example). I fully expect the EU governments to go the same route, and much much further in some areas. I'm sure all the left wing statists on the board will be very pleased in the coming 4 or 5 years.....




                                                              .




                                                              .
                                                              Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing

                                                              [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/

                                                              ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

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                                                              • J. Falcon
                                                                www.AdultCopywriters.com
                                                                • May 2006
                                                                • 31645

                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by PR_Glen
                                                                Move out of your parents place, you will have more freedom out there.
                                                                Adult Copywriters



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                                                                • inabon
                                                                  Good Old Fat Webmaster
                                                                  • Jul 2002
                                                                  • 970

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                                                  I actually described EVERY government on the planet. It's simply a matter of degree, that's all, and the US government is definitely getting out of control. (The FATCA regulations are a perfect example). I fully expect the EU governments to go the same route, and much much further in some areas. I'm sure all the left wing statists on the board will be very pleased in the coming 4 or 5 years.....




                                                                  .




                                                                  .

                                                                  agreed
                                                                  Whoever dies with most toys wins.

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                                                                  • Zeiss
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • May 2012
                                                                    • 5189

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Imagine you have 2 dicks...


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                                                                    • CurrentlySober
                                                                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                      • 38957

                                                                      #35
                                                                      i cant afford a cow...


                                                                      👁️ 👍️ 💩

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                                                                      • ilnjscb
                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                        • Jun 2009
                                                                        • 8974

                                                                        #36
                                                                        GFY: You have two cows. You post about how cows were priced higher and it was 10 times easier to sell them in 2003. You give away a cow to help you sell the other cow. Paul Markham tells you he took pictures of cows in the 70s. People throw cow pats at him. You read a bunch of 50 page posts and forget to feed your remaining cow. Your cow dies.

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                                                                        • NewNick
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Mar 2009
                                                                          • 7230

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Originally posted by ilnjscb
                                                                          GFY: You have two cows. You post about how cows were priced higher and it was 10 times easier to sell them in 2003. You give away a cow to help you sell the other cow. Paul Markham tells you he took pictures of cows in the 70s. People throw cow pats at him. You read a bunch of 50 page posts and forget to feed your remaining cow. Your cow dies.
                                                                          The poor cow.

                                                                          "Americas Hitler" JD Vance.
                                                                          “There isn’t really an upside to Trump.” Tucker Carlson.
                                                                          “a convicted felon rapist is now your president” OneHungLow, gfy.com

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                                                                          • Relentless
                                                                            www.EngineFood.com
                                                                            • Aug 2006
                                                                            • 5697

                                                                            #38
                                                                            Originally posted by sperbonzo
                                                                            Apparently you don't see the contradiction in your own statement.... .
                                                                            There is no contradiction in that statement. The cows do remain yours... their productivity is divisible. Straight up socialism doesn't work... and neither does straight up capitalism. What does work is Capitalism with strictly enforced socialistic limitations for things like safety, security and the good of society overall.

                                                                            We don't allow anyone to build their own nuclear bomb... though some people in our society have the money, machinery and knowledge to do it. From a purely capitalistic perspective, making a nuclear bomb would be the single most profitable thing you could do with your time. As a matter of security we don't allow it... and that is socialism at work. We don't allow people make their employees work 115 hours per week in non-ventilated factories without enough fire exits. That's more socialism. You should not be able to make billions of dollars in our markets which benefit from the work of our society and then pay 0 taxes on your profits calling it 'pure capitalism' as if that is a good thing.

                                                                            6 of the top 400 earners in our society during 2009 (the last year reported) paid 0 personal income tax taxes according to research done by Warren Buffet. That is not a good thing. As he said, that puts those 6 people in Mitt Romney's theoretical 47%- pure capitalism would allow people to pay 0 back to society for all the benefits they gain from it... socialism would ask too much in return. The answer is in the middle... and watching people avoid that eventual truth is like watching people try to claim Jesus is going to help them win the next Powerball drawing.

                                                                            We are a mixture of capitalism and socialism... a pendulum swings back and forth between the two... in recent years it swung too far one way and now it is swinging back the other way. The top 400 incomes have gone up more than 500% in the last ten years. Meanwhile employee productivity has more than doubled and employee wages have remained stagnant, not even keeping pace with inflation.

                                                                            The asshats on the bottom who abuse the social safety net AND the asshats at the top who feel their success does not require them to add equity back into the economy that allowed them to prosper are the problem. As a simple test, ask yourself... what did you MAKE last year. Not how much money... what was your work product. If you created nothing, supported the creation of nothing, and extracted profit without adding equity back into the system... you aren't worthy of protection or admiration.

                                                                            There is a huge difference between a factory owner who employs people at quality jobs while producing something, and a hedge fund manager who bilks investors and juices employee pensions while profiting from the company's ability to create debt and paying a tiny fraction of what an actual producer would have had to pay on the same dollar amount.

                                                                            When the producers (employers and employees) align against the parasites (at the very bottom AND very top) the country will finally attain the balance it has been missing for over a decade. The wealthy asshats are telling you to hate the poor asshats... neither is doing you any favors.


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                                                                            • fuzebox
                                                                              making it rain
                                                                              • Oct 2003
                                                                              • 22353

                                                                              #39
                                                                              I know nothing about livestock. Can someone please rewrite the original post in terms I can relate to?

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                                                                              • epitome
                                                                                So Fucking Lame
                                                                                • Jun 2009
                                                                                • 12156

                                                                                #40
                                                                                I was wondering if there would be an argument about socialism.

                                                                                We are told Obama is a socialist, but nobody can agree on what that is.

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                                                                                • epitome
                                                                                  So Fucking Lame
                                                                                  • Jun 2009
                                                                                  • 12156

                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  Originally posted by JohnnyClips
                                                                                  25 years of wisdom (me) : Each person should have the right to do with their life as they see fit and not what is imposed upon them
                                                                                  You are 25 and still have a bicycle as your main mode of transportation and have roommates? You're a little behind on life man. Less time on GFY, more time working.

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                                                                                  • Struggle4Bucks
                                                                                    Sieg Hi!
                                                                                    • May 2011
                                                                                    • 3615

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    Originally posted by JohnnyClips
                                                                                    25 years of wisdom (me) : Each person should have the right to do with their life as they see fit and not what is imposed upon them
                                                                                    That`s what you say when you`re like 11 years old and you`re experiencing for the first time that today you don`t feel like going to school...
                                                                                    Half troll half amazing!

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                                                                                    • Killswitch
                                                                                      REVOLUTIONARY
                                                                                      • Oct 2012
                                                                                      • 2576

                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      Originally posted by geedub
                                                                                      But then he would miss his mom's Hamburger Helper night
                                                                                      Joke or not, I grew up eating hamburger helper because my family didn't make much money... I kind of like it.

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                                                                                      • Struggle4Bucks
                                                                                        Sieg Hi!
                                                                                        • May 2011
                                                                                        • 3615

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        Originally posted by epitome
                                                                                        Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

                                                                                        Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

                                                                                        Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

                                                                                        Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

                                                                                        Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

                                                                                        Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

                                                                                        An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

                                                                                        A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

                                                                                        Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

                                                                                        An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

                                                                                        A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

                                                                                        Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

                                                                                        An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

                                                                                        Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

                                                                                        Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

                                                                                        Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.

                                                                                        Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...

                                                                                        Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.

                                                                                        A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

                                                                                        A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

                                                                                        PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

                                                                                        Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

                                                                                        Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

                                                                                        Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
                                                                                        Hipster: You have two aurochs. You kill one and fashion it into an original leather outfit. You take pictures of the other for instagram and use its milk for Starbucks coffee.

                                                                                        Cuilism: I give you a hamburger.
                                                                                        great story... especially the
                                                                                        American,French and Italian Corporation.
                                                                                        You don`t have one for a Dutch Corporation?
                                                                                        Half troll half amazing!

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • RKLover
                                                                                          A B User
                                                                                          • Dec 2007
                                                                                          • 256

                                                                                          #45
                                                                                          Originally posted by CPimp
                                                                                          In case people haven't noticed, it's now easier than it's ever been to get approved for food stamps and other government assistance, where back in the day, if you worked part time at $7/hr you made too much money, so they denied you.

                                                                                          In my personal opinion, the government is very clearly WANTING more people to depend on it for even the most basic necessity - food. What I don't know yet, is WHY?

                                                                                          It's not like they give a fuck about their own people, the ones who actually LIVE on American soil. They'd rather hand out millions and billions of dollars to shitbag countries around the world who don't even appreciate the gesture rather than fix the problems that plague our own streets. Fuck this form of government - I'm sure our founding fathers are turning in their graves at the thought of this pathetic path their country has taken
                                                                                          I love when people refer to the "Founding Fathers" as if they were omniscient and always correct. How many RPM's do you think they got in those coffins when non-landowners were given the right to vote? 5400? How about freeing the slaves most of them owned - ramped it up to 7200? And Women voting? Not to mention equal pay and rights? They could probably spin their way to the Moon, Alice!!!

                                                                                          Let's not forget what the American Revolution was really about. A bunch of rich, white, slave-owners who did not want to pay taxes. Not much has changed, except the slavery part.
                                                                                          Last edited by RKLover; 11-28-2012, 02:49 PM.
                                                                                          There is no excuse for ignorance, yet it still remains a powerful force.

                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                          • NewNick
                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                            • Mar 2009
                                                                                            • 7230

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            Originally posted by RKLover

                                                                                            Let's not forget what the American Revolution was really about. A bunch of rich, white, slave-owners who did not want to pay taxes. Not much has changed, except the slavery part.
                                                                                            I always thought it was about tea ?
                                                                                            "Americas Hitler" JD Vance.
                                                                                            “There isn’t really an upside to Trump.” Tucker Carlson.
                                                                                            “a convicted felon rapist is now your president” OneHungLow, gfy.com

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                                                                                            • ilnjscb
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Jun 2009
                                                                                              • 8974

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              Originally posted by RKLover
                                                                                              I love when people refer to the "Founding Fathers" as if they were omniscient and always correct. How many RPM's do you think they got in those coffins when non-landowners were given the right to vote? 5400? How about freeing the slaves most of them owned - ramped it up to 7200? And Women voting? Not to mention equal pay and rights? They could probably spin their way to the Moon, Alice!!!

                                                                                              Let's not forget what the American Revolution was really about. A bunch of rich, white, slave-owners who did not want to pay taxes. Not much has changed, except the slavery part.
                                                                                              Nice job quoting that almost word for word - lets also not forget that at the time, the so called "rich white men" had counterparts that were asian and african who were just as rich if not richer, just as slave owning, and didn't give a damn about anyone's vote, would torture you and cut your head off on a whim, lived in palaces, and ruled with an iron fist. Aren't you glad you lucked out and got the rich white men who thought it was nice to let you vote, and voluntarily surrendered power? Of course you are!

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • RKLover
                                                                                                A B User
                                                                                                • Dec 2007
                                                                                                • 256

                                                                                                #48
                                                                                                Originally posted by ilnjscb
                                                                                                Nice job quoting that almost word for word - lets also not forget that at the time, the so called "rich white men" had counterparts that were asian and african who were just as rich if not richer, just as slave owning, and didn't give a damn about anyone's vote, would torture you and cut your head off on a whim, lived in palaces, and ruled with an iron fist. Aren't you glad you lucked out and got the rich white men who thought it was nice to let you vote, and voluntarily surrendered power? Of course you are!
                                                                                                So? Being Less Wrong still does not make them right. So much of what we have today is due to th foundation they laid. But they were not Saints, and much of what they believed was very wrong in regards to Gender and Race.

                                                                                                P.S. I am a rich white man. My family openly opposed slavery and actively participated in the Underground Railroad.
                                                                                                Last edited by RKLover; 11-29-2012, 09:18 AM.
                                                                                                There is no excuse for ignorance, yet it still remains a powerful force.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • ilnjscb
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Jun 2009
                                                                                                  • 8974

                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                  Originally posted by RKLover
                                                                                                  So? Being Less Wrong still does not make them right. So much of what we have today is due to th foundation they laid. But they were not Saints, and much of what they believed was very wrong in regards to Gender and Race.

                                                                                                  P.S. I am a rich white man. My family openly opposed slavery and actively participated in the Underground Railroad.
                                                                                                  Less wrong = better. And, I'm sure that they are sobbing in their graves that you don't like them. Thanks for listing your pedigree - it makes everything you say that much more true.

                                                                                                  The word for what you are doing is "presentism"

                                                                                                  "Presentism is a mode of literary or historical analysis in which present-day ideas and perspectives are anachronistically introduced into depictions or interpretations of the past"

                                                                                                  Presentism

                                                                                                  And, the word for people who brag online about what their family did in the past and about how much money they have is "wanker"

                                                                                                  "wanker can carry suggestions of egotistical and self-indulgent behaviour"

                                                                                                  Wanker

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                                                                                                  • MaDalton
                                                                                                    I am Amazing Content!
                                                                                                    • Feb 2004
                                                                                                    • 39861

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    Originally posted by NewNick
                                                                                                    Paul Markham : Milking cows is easy, shooting great content and selling it to magazines for $3000 a scene non exclusive like I did in the 80's, now that takes real skill.

                                                                                                    DamainJ : I had two cows but lost them doing a cheap magic trick. Has anyone seen my cows ?

                                                                                                    Dvtimes : Mi cowws liv in my council flat wiv me. I take pics an vids of them and call it porn.

                                                                                                    Roald : I am such a fucking Whale who needs cows.

                                                                                                    Johnnyclips : My cows are not cows, they are sheep. You are all sheep. David Icke is the messiah. Mind control. Blah blah blah fucking blah.

                                                                                                    Shap : I had the coolest gold plated cows, but Manwin coveted my ass. Now you all want to be the Shapster.

                                                                                                    DWB : The best cows may or not be bulls. You pay you money you take your chances.....

                                                                                                    Fabian : You might have bought a cow, you might have fed it and cared for it - but I am taking the milk whether you like it or not. Ok you dont like it - what are you going to do about it ?
                                                                                                    AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003
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