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Considering how lazy and "ten years out of date" you are, I'll write some blog posts for you for free. I have to mention up front that I might upset a lot of people who deserve to be upset.
Still, its an avenue you might want to follow if you're so desperate for help that you are willing to humiliate yourself and ask for assistance at GFY.
Typical GFY post: Marklar marklar? Hah! Marklar! You marklars have no marklaring idea what the marklar I'm marklaring about.
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