Thanksgiving is almost here!
And for the first time in my life, I'm planning on doing a vegetarian Thanksgiving.
I know, how can you have a "Turkey Day" without Turkey!?
Truthfully, I'm not sure.
"Tofurky" just doesn't seem right. Maybe I'll just sculpt my mashed potatoes into the shape of a turkey (as an homage to 'Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind,' perhaps?)
I can hear the snickers, already...I can hear the taunts of "hippy" and "treehugger."
But before you judge my meatlessness, just know I have my reasons.
What are my reasons, you ask?
Um, well, I'm not supposed to talk about it.
It's sort of a *delicate* subject around the FLASHCA$H offices as there are several lawsuits and sanctions by PETA still being discussed.
Okay, okay! I'll tell you. Truthfully, its hard NOT to talk about it.
You expect me to watch Buddy go balls-deep into a semi-frozen poultry carcass and just pretend it didn't happen!?
I realize that he is living in Canada now and maybe that puts some psychological distance between him and the carnage he left. But I saw what I saw. And that image will be with me forever.
For the rest of my life I won't be able to hear, "stuffing a turkey," without feeling a wee bit nauseous.
And THAT, my friends, is why I'm doomed to a life of tofu.
And for the first time in my life, I'm planning on doing a vegetarian Thanksgiving.
I know, how can you have a "Turkey Day" without Turkey!?
Truthfully, I'm not sure.
"Tofurky" just doesn't seem right. Maybe I'll just sculpt my mashed potatoes into the shape of a turkey (as an homage to 'Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind,' perhaps?)
I can hear the snickers, already...I can hear the taunts of "hippy" and "treehugger."
But before you judge my meatlessness, just know I have my reasons.
What are my reasons, you ask?
Um, well, I'm not supposed to talk about it.
It's sort of a *delicate* subject around the FLASHCA$H offices as there are several lawsuits and sanctions by PETA still being discussed.
Okay, okay! I'll tell you. Truthfully, its hard NOT to talk about it.
You expect me to watch Buddy go balls-deep into a semi-frozen poultry carcass and just pretend it didn't happen!?
I realize that he is living in Canada now and maybe that puts some psychological distance between him and the carnage he left. But I saw what I saw. And that image will be with me forever.
For the rest of my life I won't be able to hear, "stuffing a turkey," without feeling a wee bit nauseous.
And THAT, my friends, is why I'm doomed to a life of tofu.
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