My Personal Boner Problem

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  • smutnut
    So Fucking Banned
    • Jul 2007
    • 5889

    #1

    My Personal Boner Problem

    Okay, check this out. It's the same one Tony Soprano had if you watched the series.

    When I go to sleep at night I wake up with a hard on that would make Madonna's stretch out pussy fall in love with me. But during the day or even if I go to a strip club or even if I fucking jerk off I can't get a hard on.

    Seriously.

    I want to blame porn (burning out my social psych), but is there a deeper psycho problem?
  • DamianJ
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jul 2006
    • 15808

    #2
    They say if you can get an erection in your sleep there is nothing physically wrong. So, although this is no real help, the issue is in your head.

    Comment

    • smutnut
      So Fucking Banned
      • Jul 2007
      • 5889

      #3
      Originally posted by DamianJ
      They say if you can get an erection in your sleep there is nothing physically wrong. So, although this is no real help, the issue is in your head.
      That's almost worse though. I know I'm a sick fuck, but I guess this is God's vengence or something. You think there is really a God? Too much Porn? All Chicks suck? I could come up with more stuff, but I'm kind of lost now.

      Also, not to gross you out but I can jack off and come without an actual hard on.

      It's got to be too much porn, right? I shouldn't be laughing

      Comment

      • Buff
        GFY Assassin
        • May 2003
        • 2993

        #4
        Are you kidding? This makes you one of the luckiest men alive. You no longer need to chase women, so your life just got 100000 times simpler. I pray for the day I become impotent/lose my sex drive. God, it will be the best day of my life.

        Comment

        • smutnut
          So Fucking Banned
          • Jul 2007
          • 5889

          #5
          Originally posted by Buff
          Are you kidding? This makes you one of the luckiest men alive. You no longer need to chase women, so your life just got 100000 times simpler. I pray for the day I become impotent/lose my sex drive. God, it will be the best day of my life.
          None of what you just said is the result of not getting a hard on when you need one. This isn't a viagra commercial. It's about me and Tony Soprano and he's on his way to your house right now LOL

          Comment

          • Sid70
            Downshifter
            • Dec 2002
            • 16413

            #6
            U need a young hot slut, 21 y.o. max to make you feel real hard, to realize you are an old fuck and to make you happy fucking a young body.
            Русня, идите нахуй!

            Comment

            • Choopa Phil
              Confirmed User
              • Apr 2009
              • 3965

              #7
              Your testosterone levels peak at that time and first thing in the morning. And also looking at porn all day will do that to you.
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              Comment

              • smutnut
                So Fucking Banned
                • Jul 2007
                • 5889

                #8
                Originally posted by Sid70
                U need a young hot slut, 21 y.o. max to make you feel real hard, to realize you are an old fuck and to make you happy fucking a young body.
                that absolutely won't work. You just think you are old. Not today. Just tomorrow for sure. You can depend on it.

                Comment

                • beerptrol
                  Confirmed Asshole
                  • Feb 2003
                  • 12722

                  #9
                  maybe you dream about men when you sleep, so when you go to a female strip club you don't get aroused. Try a male strip club and see what happens
                  “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.”
                  -- Ulysses S. Grant

                  Comment

                  • AaronM
                    GFY Royality ;)
                    • Oct 2001
                    • 46917

                    #10
                    Time for a prostate exam.

                    Comment

                    • CaptainHowdy
                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                      • Dec 2004
                      • 94052

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Buff
                      Are you kidding? This makes you one of the luckiest men alive. You no longer need to chase women, so your life just got 100000 times simpler. I pray for the day I become impotent/lose my sex drive. God, it will be the best day of my life.

                      Comment

                      • L-Pink
                        working on my tan
                        • Mar 2005
                        • 39151

                        #12
                        Originally posted by AaronM
                        Time for a prostate exam.
                        I imagined you holding an index finger up as you typed that.

                        .

                        Comment

                        • smutnut
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Jul 2007
                          • 5889

                          #13
                          I see what you guys did here. You guys want me to do this...

                          Comment

                          • AaronM
                            GFY Royality ;)
                            • Oct 2001
                            • 46917

                            #14
                            Originally posted by L-Pink
                            I imagined you holding an index finger up as you typed that.

                            I imagine you enjoyed that mental picture.

                            My post was serious.

                            Comment

                            • smutnut
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Jul 2007
                              • 5889

                              #15
                              Really, no boner. Now this would have been great in high school, but not so great when i'm picking up nasty old whores these days

                              Comment

                              • Barefootsies
                                Choice is an Illusion
                                • Feb 2005
                                • 42635

                                #16
                                Originally posted by Buff
                                Are you kidding? This makes you one of the luckiest men alive. You no longer need to chase women, so your life just got 100000 times simpler. I pray for the day I become impotent/lose my sex drive. God, it will be the best day of my life.
                                WTF?!?!.....
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                                Comment

                                • AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
                                  Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
                                  • Jul 2004
                                  • 38323

                                  #17




                                  Get the prostate exam - maybe you'll learn things about yourself...

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                                  Comment

                                  • Darkcrni
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Jun 2007
                                    • 1704

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Buff
                                    Are you kidding? This makes you one of the luckiest men alive. You no longer need to chase women, so your life just got 100000 times simpler. I pray for the day I become impotent/lose my sex drive. God, it will be the best day of my life.

                                    Really? Then why don't you just cut your dick off.
                                    That way you don't have to wait to get impotent!

                                    Comment

                                    • Spunky
                                      I need a beer
                                      • Jun 2002
                                      • 133978

                                      #19
                                      Amputation is the only answer

                                      Comment

                                      • CYF
                                        Coupon Guru
                                        • Mar 2009
                                        • 10973

                                        #20
                                        you could always try some horny goat weed or something?
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                                        Comment

                                        • Shagbunny
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Oct 2007
                                          • 3028

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Sid70
                                          U need a young hot slut, 21 y.o. max to make you feel real hard, to realize you are an old fuck and to make you happy fucking a young body.
                                          bingo

                                          Comment

                                          • smutnut
                                            So Fucking Banned
                                            • Jul 2007
                                            • 5889

                                            #22
                                            LOL, I'm serious. I wake up praising Jesus with my boner high to the sky, but when it matters, it doesn't even want to talk LOL.

                                            I wouldn't even talk about this if Tony Soprano didn't have the same problem and he was hitting anything that squirmed

                                            Comment

                                            • MattPIVO
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Feb 2012
                                              • 240

                                              #23
                                              How old are you? Did this occur recently? Probably best to see a doctor regardless and get a blood test.


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                                              Comment

                                              • smutnut
                                                So Fucking Banned
                                                • Jul 2007
                                                • 5889

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Sid70
                                                U need a young hot slut, 21 y.o. max to make you feel real hard, to realize you are an old fuck and to make you happy fucking a young body.
                                                You do know I checked this out already. Nothing is more embarrassing than some little clueless whore getting a complex from you.

                                                Comment

                                                • CYF
                                                  Coupon Guru
                                                  • Mar 2009
                                                  • 10973

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by smutnut
                                                  LOL, I'm serious. I wake up praising Jesus with my boner high to the sky, but when it matters, it doesn't even want to talk LOL.
                                                  line up a little hottie to spend the night and hit it first thing in the morning
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                                                  Comment

                                                  • smutnut
                                                    So Fucking Banned
                                                    • Jul 2007
                                                    • 5889

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by MattPIVO
                                                    How old are you? Did this occur recently? Probably best to see a doctor regardless and get a blood test.
                                                    It's definitely psychological, but I'm not paying for a shrink unless she's going to fuck me to guarantee her work.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • mavruda
                                                      porn cartoonist
                                                      • Feb 2007
                                                      • 2597

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by Sid70
                                                      U need a young hot slut, 21 y.o. max to make you feel real hard, to realize you are an old fuck and to make you happy fucking a young body.
                                                      Or two on half of age each...
                                                      And I mean 44 years old Milf - or two younger women each one at age of 22....

                                                      Comment

                                                      • smutnut
                                                        So Fucking Banned
                                                        • Jul 2007
                                                        • 5889

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by mavruda
                                                        Or two on half of age each...
                                                        And I mean 44 years old Milf - or two younger women each one at age of 22....
                                                        Nothing personal but your avatar has the ugliest cat I have ever seen in my life, and I like cats. Now I have even worse boner problems.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • bronco67
                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                          • Dec 2006
                                                          • 29026

                                                          #29
                                                          You need to tell your woman to spread her peaches and slide herself down on that thing, right before you wake up in the morning.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • papill0n
                                                            Unregistered Abuser
                                                            • Oct 2007
                                                            • 15547

                                                            #30
                                                            try fingering your arse at the breakfast table

                                                            Comment

                                                            • bronco67
                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                              • Dec 2006
                                                              • 29026

                                                              #31
                                                              how many times have you bent your dick just a little too far when taking a piss in the morning?

                                                              Comment

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