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Peabody most of your list can be summarized as "I only like vanilla sex". But I dig the spirit of this, so -
What I hate is when porn is just boring. And I'd say a very high percentage of it is largely the same. A shitty 8 x 10 set, that is clearly a set, chick is not pretty and/or not made up and can't "act", both get completely naked in first 20 seconds and then just bang away plain meat on plain meat robotically for another 20 minutes.
I don't care how you do it but how about a little variety? set dressing, keep some minimal clothing on the girl, give us a little theme or tiny bit of story that carrys over into the fucking, etcetera.
I also wish the fucking guys behind the camera would shut the fuck up.
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