what has time/experience taught you?

bla bla bla

i like reading this...it's good to hear people talk about their personal growth from experience...we can always learn from one another.

i feel like i'm too young to impart any sage advice. i just wrote out a long post about pain and growth and all that shit, but honestly, i'm just a kid...i'm just here to learn.

Stop caring, plain and simple. I stopped caring a long time ago.. this way you have no worries, drama, etc.. just stop caring.

i was just about to post the exact same thing. amazing. an ex-girlfriend made me stop caring about everything


focus on whats important. many things in life are incidental and are of little consequence. spend as little time as you can on that stuff

ie family member getting hurt is important. drama over little stuff is energy-draining and causes loss of focus

"i was just about to post the exact same thing. amazing. an ex-girlfriend made me stop caring about everything


focus on whats important. many things in life are incidental and are of little consequence. spend as little time as you can on that stuff

ie family member getting hurt is important. drama over little stuff is energy-draining and causes loss of focus[/QUOTE]




so any relationship you have with a girl in the future will be made to suffer because of what you have been though with your ex? because you won't allow your own broken heart to mend? so you focus on work and success. in the end when you look back on your life who will you have had to share your memories with? your computer? lots of things in this life are important. i don't have the words to state exactly how i feel as it is still nebulas in my brain but i think some of your ideas are flawed.

this is all so interesting. may be because i know you personally and i see that you treat people with respect primarily when you are motivated and there is a reward in it for you.
you treat everyone according to what it is you want or have to gain from them. you are a nice guy, because being good with people helps you further your career. not that there is anything wrong with that. its just slippery. i think you are genuinely a good guy you just have some things to work out... but don't we all.

i think you can learn a lot from anyone you meet. everyone has something to offer. and we are human, everyone fucks ups but it doesn't mean there character is permnantly flawed. it helps to made aware and we have the ability to change and evolve. that is what makes us unique.

When I saw the topic, my first thought was Choose Your Battles and then there it was in your post. I found that works well in all areas of life from work, to home, to parenting and it took me a long time to get there but it's one of the best lessons I've ever learned.

and i just wanted to add that in my saying its slippery is that you appear only to care so much as long as it benefits you in some way. referring to your 85% of the people you meet are unexceptional and don't have much to offer. what do you offer them then? and so that leaves the 15% that are worthwhile. what i get from this is human life seems to be trivialized and people being disregarded.

i am learning how to pick my battles. not very good at it.
i think what time and experience have taught me is that you have to be self reliant. and things are always in flux. there are many ups and downs in life. and its a blessing to have good friends around to share in all that life has to offer.

nice thread.

i've learned to do my own research and never trust ANYONE.

that experience comes with time.

i guess the hard truth is that statistacally speaking you probably are right about most of what you said. it is good to be kind to everyone regardless. you are a realist. i guess i think may be i lost what value i had to you some time ago. may be that is why you were so inconsistent with me.
i dont' want time and experience to leave callouses on my heart.

nice thread, thanks for sharing

well, how about you?

thanks for sharing

the older i get, the more i know that i don't know or never knew shit about anything.

I've learned:
if something is loved by everyone today, it'll be hated by 95% tomorrow and if something is hated by everyone today, it will be embraced by 95% the next day...

There *is* sex in the champagne room

Too many things to mention. Most importantly off the top of my head..

"Pick your battles"

some wise words in this thread, nice digression from the regular 'would you hit it' threads lol.

I'm 51 so I speak from experience not theory. Most of my observations are from those around me not myself.

* A nice comfortable house that meets your needs and gives you pride of ownership ... and is PAID for! ... changes your entire outlook in later years.
(Think, worst case scenario job or economy wise is you have to cover taxes and utilities to live well)

* Relationships end up wonderful or absolute shit, there is no in between. With this in mind you should be able to take an early view on your future happiness or property division.

* Women will always rely on the advise of friends they share 50% of the facts with.

* Expensive cars are enjoyed more when parked in the driveway of your mortgage free home.

* Parents. Until they are gone you don't know how different you will feel about who you are. Hint: Frequent but short calls and visits are easier and more important than occasionally "making time". (Mom, I'm making soup should I .... thanks goodbye) (Dad, you see that catch in the first quarter, great huh, gotta go friends waiting)

* How someone treats animals tells you everything you need to know.

* Anything pleasurable done in excess quickly takes a 180.

* The better off you are the lower your profile should be.

That there is never enough of either

Three pieces of advice based on real life experience.

1. Don't plan on someone changing or you changing someone after you get married... especially trying to change them to be more like yourself. Accept people for who and what they are with all their flaws and if they are not compatible with yours it will NOT work. Contrary to popular belief by most men it's not about how good the sex is but how well the two of you communicate.
we
2. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are asked for them. The majority of ALL arguments in a relationship are caused by differing opinions. I love a good debate but please try to stick to some facts otherwise it's will just be another pissing match that leads to nowhere. You must learn how to agree to disagree.

3. Trust no one until they earn your trust! Too many times we trust people we don't even know based solely on their credentials. Doctors and mechanics are the worst to me. Don't try to tell me what's wrong based on who or what you are... show me some proof! This leads to what I have told my children... Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. That?s the reality of today?s world I hate to say.

Yes my friends these are the reality of things based on my personal experiences which are far reaching compared to most people I know. Take it for what it's worth and GOOD LUCK... if there is such a thing.

_

To be myself

I've learned:

One who is truly wise will become mature enough over time to get over one's self and one's ego and realize that none of us ever really "arrive", we are always works in progress, always.

and...

Patience is a virtue.

nice thread

do your homework b4 you get into anything

put more weight to a mans actions vs his words

Situations (or people) are usually not as good or as bad as they first appear.

Never tolerate disrespect from others, especially employers. If someone does not respect you or your value then there is no future in your dealings with them.

Always do the things you have promised and always be sure to only promise what you can deliver.

You can forgive most things but you should forget nothing.

Never sign anything unless you have read and understand what it says.

Trust no one.

Gather as much personal information as possible on personal and business associates (or adversaries), as a settling of accounts may be required at some later date.

a man can be much richer in ways other than money

Nice thread. I agree with a lot of what has been posted.

Learn from your mistakes, and whenever possible, learn from the mistakes of others.

Don't trust whitey.

congrats to the winners

thats it????

Don't wear anything around your neck that is more valuable than your head.

lol, that is the best one yet.

Well, my daughter has to work in some very bad neighborhoods, so I made sure she knew that.

You are a wise man webmasterchecks

The main thing I learned in life is everyone is out to fuck you in one way or the other. No matter who you are... YOU come first before anyone else. I trust no one in my life it is sad and lonely but it has kept me from failing. Maybe it is because I lived around trash all my life but I believe there are some honorable people somewhere in the world. When you meet an honorable person do not burn your bridges with that person.

Suffering is caused by ignorance is another thing I learned on my own but found better explained by learning the principles of Buddhism.

Very good points and agree!

On the last para - people related. Agree appearances and whatever "postion" they hold can be deceptive - appearances mean nothing. You can have what appears to be a total dumbos, but, they are not. Same with the flipside - can have the most highly qualified people, but they can be totally useless. The perception may be real or not - the only way I can judge that is over a timespan - and "listening hard" and between the lines as to what is said.

On biz, only my , but this is not a sprint. Establishing relationships with people over a number of years is relevant. Apart from the textbook "how to run a biz" stuff - you need to plot a path ahead for a business and worth asking, where will that business be in eg ten years? If it is not likely to be worth the investment in time over than period (other than just earning money) - it may be time for a re-think. Also don't regard the sporadic short-term business "successes" as being too relevant (tho can be very nice) - all businesses ride a wave and have periods of being under water - so, back to the sprint/marathon terminology - business is a marathon and it's a matter of sustained effort in both the good and bad times and staying focussed.

On battles - rarely have them and sure would not be over trivial stuff - it's not worth the effort. Would also not describe them as battles but more, (tho this depends on the nature of the problem), a matter of a sustained effort in slowly gathering solid "intelligence" on every aspect of the issue - there is usually no hurry to do this. Some of that intelligence may be good or bad for you, but as long as it is undeniable fact, it's a basis to monitor a path ahead. Personal gripes and agendas are not helpful in this process - better to keep it clean-cut, not slanted towards "personal revenge", but more based on elements which can be used in front of a judge (especially if that is a possible outcome). Working with an appropriated experienced lawyer during this time would be normal - he will be as good as the breifing you provide. This can be a hell of a lot of work and take years - so really depends on the issue at stake and whether costs or recovery of perhaps an asset, does still exist. (Only had two "battles" ever - and still spinning the fishing line out on the second for about two years now - and don't expect a resolution for maybe 6-8 years yet, but will bring justice to a seriously unjust issue involving very serious money.)

If you think it is only 85% of people who are "unexceptional" - that's being very enthusiastic about the human species Everyone is different and have their own interests/problems/ambitions/lifestyle etc - they may be "unexceptional" to us, but not to others. Tho, understand what you are saying - it's hard to find people who "blend" and have some qualities/experience to bring to the table.

Plan for the long term.

If you try to finish things quickly they rarely turn out right or at all. Even though next spring, summer or fall seems far away it isn't. It's going to be here faster than you expected. The older you get the more you realize that. If you work on things knowing that they will be perfect later, instead of quickly finished and passable tomorrow, you will always come out on top.

That goes for business projects. It goes for your personal well being (Crash diets vs. ongoing health regimens etc) and relationships.

Yes, relationships too. Cultivate the friends you have. It's an ongoing process that takes work but later in life as you pass your 30's you will understand why it is important.

Life isn't a race, always do what you like and do it well or don't do it at all.

This is not true. Everyone has a motive but as long as you remember receiving anything is a 2 way street then you will be ok. The key is figuring out what the other person wants or needs and making sure that person gets what they want as you get what you want.

I've never been fucked by anyone. This is why.

*Women lie. The better they look, the more full of shit they are.

*Money can't buy happiness but it can definitely rent it for a while.

*If it itches for more than a few days, see a doctor.

Totally agree PW

An individual has total freedom to choose the path/lifestyle they want to live and should mean enjoying what they are involved in and know that area inside out to produce a good end product - half-measures usually fail. Benchmarks of "success" can be applied to how well whatever product worked - and that usually brings degrees of other benefits - ie monetory blah.

blah blah blah blah indeed

Judging by the first part of your post, I guess you have that down.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, there is a pretty good chance that it is at least waterfowl.

nice cars are more enjoyed cruising down a stretch of really sweet road. animal people usually treat people like crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY_GyyvsHbM

this fits here as well


Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ?99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience?I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you?ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can?t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked?.You?re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don?t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don?t be reckless with other people?s hearts, don?t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.


Floss

Don?t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you?re ahead, sometimes
you?re behind?the race is long, and in the end, it?s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don?t feel guilty if you don?t know what you want to do with your
life?the most interesting people I know didn?t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don?t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you?ll miss them when they?re gone.

Maybe you?ll marry, maybe you won?t, maybe you?ll have children,maybe
you won?t, maybe you?ll divorce at 40, maybe you?ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary?what ever you do, don?t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either ? your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else?s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can?don?t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it?s the greatest instrument you?ll ever
own..

Dance?even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don?t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they?ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you?ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don?t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don?t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you?re 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it?s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

Beauty is only skin deep. The most beautiful woman I've ever known also turned out to be the ugliest person I've ever known.

Don't smoke...I did and I feel I've paid a price for it.

Respect your parents, listen to them even when you think they're wrong...they're usually right.

Don't ever be scared, afraid or ashamed to kiss your Dad hello or goodbye.

Love an animal and enjoy the love it gives back to you.

Tell those most important to you that you love them...often.