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hahmike

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#1

Office World - GO FUCK YOURSELF

06-21-2002, 12:13 PM

today i walked into office world and bought a new chair for my porn empire.

now i've spent 2 hours trying to put the damn thing together with no luck. it is pissing me right off. its not like i can return the thing with ease... it is half built, and huge.

does anyone know how the fuck to put together one of these adjustable height exec chairs? please!

i have what looks to be a bicycle pump cylinder and three plastic cones, as well as the chair itself and the base...

the damn thing didn't come with a construction manual. i have five wheels and the base of the chair (in a star shape) and have no idea how to put them all together. someone please tell me how to attach the wheels, at least!

another hour of this shit and i'll have to go take my anger out on a bunch of small kids... or old people.
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clickpimp

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#2

06-21-2002, 12:14 PM

seat side up, wheels down.

eventually, earth will lose.
enjoy it while it lasts.
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421Fill

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#3

06-21-2002, 12:18 PM

you must be a programmer. lol. just leave the kids outta it. k? the easiest way would be to smply stare at the picture on the box for a few minutes.
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hahmike

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#4

06-21-2002, 12:22 PM

there isn't a picture

all i have is:

office seating group, model 5050

description: high back leather exec with headrest

and a barcode.

wouldn't be so bad if i could just get the wheels done tonight...
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BuckNaked

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#5

06-21-2002, 12:25 PM

it all snaps together dude...

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Redbone

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#6

06-21-2002, 12:25 PM

Now, what I'm about to say sounds sarcastic, but it's not:

You have to jam the pieces together with main force.

The arms, if there are any arms, will probably be attached with screws, though. The rest you just have to jam together. Those cones go on the outside of the cylinder, biggest goes lowest, like one of them there pirate telescopes. Jam the cylinder into the base with the wheels until you can't get it out again. Then put the cones on like I said. Then jam the rest on top (there will be a hole in the bottom of the chair where you jam that cylinder).

Jam it in, slide it on, jam it in.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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hahmike

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#7

06-21-2002, 12:31 PM

i've done the wheels! woohoo! thanks!

i owe you a beer...

i put most of the chair together, but the cones are in the wrong order. is there any way to un-brute force the base and the seat apart again, so i can rearrange the cones?

i was going to try pulling and pulling... until i realised that if the two parts come loose, i'll end up flying across the room into the tv set. any advice on how to take it apart, please?
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#8

06-21-2002, 12:32 PM

Originally posted by clickpimp
seat side up, wheels down.

hahahaha

Ive put together some fucked up chairs in my time though.

I sit on buckets now.

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FreeOnes

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#9

06-21-2002, 12:33 PM

have a nice weekend

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hahmike

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#10

06-21-2002, 12:33 PM

hehe...

besides the height adjustment (a lever) there is a big twisty knob underneath the seat. it doesn't seem to have any function... any ideas what this may do?
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Redbone

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#11

06-21-2002, 12:34 PM

I think you can just turn your Mighty Joe Young brute force on the cones themselves and reorder them like that. They're only for show anyway. I wouldn't try to force the main pieces apart again.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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421Fill

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#12

06-21-2002, 12:36 PM

too fucking funny. good luck man. was there a display model at the store?
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Redbone

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#13

06-21-2002, 12:36 PM

About that twisty knob under your seat, well, again this might sound sarcastic...

You use it to...

No, I can't do it. It IS sarcastic!

(It's to loosen or tighten your lean-backingness. Turn it one way and you can't lean back very far, and vice-versa.)

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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Redbone

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#14

06-21-2002, 12:38 PM

And the seat is where you put your ass.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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Fletch XXX

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#15

06-21-2002, 12:38 PM

Originally posted by Redbone
About that twisty knob under your seat, well, again this might sound sarcastic...

You use it to...

No, I can't do it. It IS sarcastic!

(It's to loosen or tighten your lean-backingness. Turn it one way and you can't lean back very far, and vice-versa.)

Or it could be the ole air lift chamber, which if ya pull up while standing up the height of the seat shall rise?

Eh i still prefer my bucket, so mutha mutha fuck it.

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BuckNaked

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#16

06-21-2002, 12:39 PM

okay, the bicycle pump thing (hydraulic) slides into the cones and then fits into the top of the chair, where the lever is, the lever has to be up against the hydraulic lever on the tip so that when you pull it it raises or lowers the chair.

the wheels snap into the star base, then put the chair with the hydraulic lift into the star and sit down on it, it all snaps together, just make sure the wheels are snapped in before you sit on it...

and the knob is used to adjust the tilt of the chair

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Redbone

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#17

06-21-2002, 12:40 PM

Nah, Fletch, that's a lever.

Do you ever turn your bucket upsidedown when you're working so you don't have to get up to go to the toilet?

I know I would, if I had a bucket.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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hahmike

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#18

06-21-2002, 12:43 PM

i've done it! thanks guys!

turbo... there is a display model at the store, i was planning to go take a look at it in the morning. no need to now.

i love you all. :D

Last edited by hahmike; 06-21-2002, 01:02 PM.
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hahmike

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#19

06-21-2002, 12:46 PM

however, i am especially worried about the bicycle pump thing directly beneath my asshole. if the metal holder breaks, and the wooden part above it breaks, then there is only a thin layer of leather between my anus, and 20 inches of aluminium pipe.
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Redbone

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#20

06-21-2002, 12:46 PM

You're welcome. I couldn't stop laughing so I decided to channel that energy into helping you.

I really thought that would make me stop laughing, but it didn't.

Damn it. Thanks a lot, man.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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Redbone

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#21

06-21-2002, 12:48 PM

It's like the opposite of the Sword of Damocles. But you learn to live with it.

Pffffffftttttttth. I'm done.
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hahmike

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#22

06-21-2002, 12:49 PM

LOL!

for the most part, i offically know to put together an office chair. at least i won't look like a complete loser if i ever have to do it at work.

so... thank YOU.
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