Mountain Dew? Users May Go On To Use HARDER Beverages...

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  • Voodoo
    ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
    • Sep 2002
    • 10600

    #1

    Mountain Dew? Users May Go On To Use HARDER Beverages...



    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28538

    "While the risks associated with use of this extreme soda are lower than those of other, even more caffeinated substances, the decision to become a Mountain Dew user sends a young person down a dangerous path. It is the first step on the journey to hardcore beverage use."

    ...

    "According to UCLA Medical Center addiction specialist Dr. Audra Hurst, Mountain Dew is a "gateway beverage," one that serves as a bridge between safe drinks like orange juice and milk and dangerous substances like black tea and "Water Joe," the street name for a powerful strain of chemically enhanced caffeinated water."




    "Regular Mountain Dew use sets the stage for far more serious things," said Lenora Nunez, president of Think Before You Drink, a New York-based soft-drink-industry watchdog group. "You get hooked on it and, suddenly, walking into a Starbucks and ordering a double mochaccino with 144 mg of caffeine or slugging down a carton of Strawberry Quik at 90 grams of sugar a pop doesn't seem like the taboo it once was."




    ...

    It's a gateway soda people. If you start to "Do The Dew"... Seek help. There are support groups, and online help if you are in need of urgent help.

    Don't Do The Dew!
    -V

    "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."
  • $5 submissions
    I help you SUCCEED
    • Nov 2003
    • 32189

    #2
    LMFAO! The Onion rocks!

    Comment

    • FRAUD
      Registered User
      • Aug 2007
      • 34

      #3
      i just stole a case at the store to test this theory.
      FUCK OFF

      Comment

      • D
        Confirmed User
        • Jan 2006
        • 7412

        #4
        I might need an intervention.

        -D.
        ICQ: 202-96-31

        Comment

        • Voodoo
          ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
          • Sep 2002
          • 10600

          #5
          In other news... Domestic violence in America is no longer a problem. Researchers are finding that more and more women are victims of clumsiness, faulty staircases and bumping into doors.

          "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

          Comment

          • Silvercash Tess
            Registered User
            • Jul 2007
            • 53

            #6
            What can't you get addicted to in the world today?

            [email protected]
            ICQ: 425351448

            Comment

            • GrouchyAdmin
              Now choke yourself!
              • Apr 2006
              • 12085

              #7
              Originally posted by Silvercash Tess
              What can't you get addicted to in the world today?
              Intelligence.

              Comment

              • Kevsh
                Confirmed User
                • Dec 2004
                • 8619

                #8
                I Do the Dew because it doesn't have aspartame like almost every other soda - I still do not touch coffee or energy drinks, so I guess I'm in the minority

                Comment

                • Deej
                  I make pixels work
                  • Jun 2005
                  • 24386

                  #9
                  Im addicted to Yellow #5

                  Deej's Designs n' What Not
                  Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching


                  Icq#30096880

                  Comment

                  • Silvercash Tess
                    Registered User
                    • Jul 2007
                    • 53

                    #10
                    Originally posted by GrouchyAdmin
                    Intelligence.
                    True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.

                    [email protected]
                    ICQ: 425351448

                    Comment

                    • D
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2006
                      • 7412

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Silvercash Tess
                      True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.
                      Some of us do.
                      -D.
                      ICQ: 202-96-31

                      Comment

                      • RyuLion
                        • Mar 2003
                        • 32371

                        #12
                        Shitt! I'm more Doomed than I thought..

                        Adult Biz Consultant A tech head since 1995
                        Affiliate Support: Chaturbate | CCBill Live

                        Comment

                        • TG Rebecca
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2006
                          • 2450

                          #13
                          i love my mountain dew.. mmm..

                          ICQ: 263-993 | AIM: TG Rep Rebecca
                          Email: [email protected]

                          Comment

                          • GrouchyAdmin
                            Now choke yourself!
                            • Apr 2006
                            • 12085

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Silvercash Tess
                            True and stupid people do not realize they are stupid.
                            That would be a sign of intelligence, or at least, comprehension and understanding one's lot in life.

                            How nice that many are saved from the fate of knowing who they are. ;)

                            Comment

                            • After Shock Media
                              It's coming look busy
                              • Mar 2001
                              • 35299

                              #15
                              Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways and not meant to be drank alone.

                              [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

                              Comment

                              • GrouchyAdmin
                                Now choke yourself!
                                • Apr 2006
                                • 12085

                                #16
                                Originally posted by After Shock Media
                                Knowing the history of the "dew" it was first a mixer anyways and not meant to be drank alone.
                                The freakiest part is that there's ORANGE JUICE somewhere in there. It's gotta be a conspiracy.

                                Comment

                                • starpimps
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 6954

                                  #17
                                  i went from mountain dew to doing crack

                                  damn it, i will never do the dew again
                                  haha
                                  Teen Porn Models / Solo Girls

                                  Comment

                                  • Spunky
                                    I need a beer
                                    • Jun 2002
                                    • 133978

                                    #18
                                    I went from the dew to jolt cola

                                    Comment

                                    • Silvercash Tess
                                      Registered User
                                      • Jul 2007
                                      • 53

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by GrouchyAdmin
                                      That would be a sign of intelligence, or at least, comprehension and understanding one's lot in life.

                                      How nice that many are saved from the fate of knowing who they are. ;)
                                      hahaha yeah

                                      [email protected]
                                      ICQ: 425351448

                                      Comment

                                      • Angie77
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Aug 2007
                                        • 1356

                                        #20
                                        ewwww strawberry quik really has that much sugar in it??
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