Just a little story about marriage...

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  • Semi-Retired-Dave
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Apr 2004
    • 11190

    #1

    Just a little story about marriage...

    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

    So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
    "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
    "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
    She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
    "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
    Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

    You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

    "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

    "You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

    ........and, they lived happily ever after.

    Now, isn't that a sweet story?
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  • Jet - BANNED FOR LIFE
    So Fucking Banned
    • Sep 2002
    • 7515

    #2
    no reading all that

    Comment

    • silvercash amber
      Confirmed User
      • Jul 2007
      • 595

      #3
      thats right!
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      • RuthB
        Let's Get Paxumized!
        • May 2005
        • 7248

        #4
        damn, talk about a story to put guys off marriage! LOL
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        • cool1
          sex is good
          • Sep 2001
          • 24939

          #5
          Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
          "You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"


          and thats why I killed her your honor.

          Comment

          • _Richard_
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Oct 2006
            • 30989

            #6
            hahahaha.. always funny

            Comment

            • Semi-Retired-Dave
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Apr 2004
              • 11190

              #7
              Originally posted by cool1

              and thats why I killed her your honor.

              Then you are free to go..Unless the judge is a female.

              Straight to the Chair.
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              • The Duck
                Adult Content Provider
                • May 2005
                • 18243

                #8
                Good one with a wife who did all that for me I would stay home and smoke pot.
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                • pixiewillow
                  Confirmed User
                  • Aug 2007
                  • 252

                  #9
                  I'd rather my husband go out then to do that much work to keep him home.

                  SiN2.0 - Sex Information Network

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                  • Shakula
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 948

                    #10
                    Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
                    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

                    So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
                    "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
                    "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
                    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
                    She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

                    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

                    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
                    "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
                    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

                    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
                    Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

                    You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

                    "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

                    "You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

                    ........and, they lived happily ever after.

                    Now, isn't that a sweet story?
                    Dave, tell us, hows life as being married?

                    Comment

                    • Kiwigirl
                      Confirmed User
                      • Mar 2005
                      • 2556

                      #11
                      Hahahaha CLASSIC!

                      KIWISOURCING
                      OUTSOURCING WITH A TWIST!

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                      • Pornwolf
                        Drunk and Unruly
                        • Jan 2002
                        • 22712

                        #12
                        Ahahahahahaha


                        hahahahaha


                        hahaha


                        ha...


                        I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade...

                        Webair, bitches.

                        Comment

                        • baddog
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Apr 2001
                          • 107089

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Jet
                          no reading all that
                          You mean you can't read all that, right?

                          Comment

                          • Compdoctor
                            Confirmed User
                            • Aug 2001
                            • 1937

                            #14
                            and just think, you will soon be married, living the happy life!
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                            • J. Falcon
                              www.AdultCopywriters.com
                              • May 2006
                              • 31587

                              #15
                              This joke is older than baddog.
                              Adult Copywriters



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                              • Big Red Machine
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jan 2005
                                • 9586

                                #16
                                Fat chance of a girl that does all that these days....regardless Good 1

                                ICQ:475437214

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                                • zand_stein
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jul 2007
                                  • 1438

                                  #17
                                  hahaha...........
                                  that is a good one....
                                  nice story.......

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                                  • Spunky
                                    I need a beer
                                    • Jun 2002
                                    • 133978

                                    #18
                                    Lol..that's why I'm never getting married

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                                    • woj
                                      <&(©¿©)&>
                                      • Jul 2002
                                      • 47880

                                      #19
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                                      • Drake
                                        Hello world!
                                        • Mar 2003
                                        • 12508

                                        #20
                                        That's terrifying

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                                        • CDSmith
                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                          • May 2001
                                          • 51460

                                          #21
                                          In light of that it's hard to believe there is actually one little dickhead on this board who ridicules me for being single.

                                          Maybe once he reads that he'll realize what a tool he is. :D
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                                          • Semi-Retired-Dave
                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                            • Apr 2004
                                            • 11190

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Shakula
                                            Dave, tell us, hows life as being married?
                                            I have no idea, I'm not married..YET!!!
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                                            • Violetta
                                              Affiliate
                                              • Jul 2004
                                              • 28735

                                              #23
                                              hahaha... great!
                                              M&A Queen

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                                              • testpie
                                                Mostly retired
                                                • Apr 2006
                                                • 3231

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
                                                A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

                                                So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
                                                "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
                                                "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
                                                The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
                                                She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

                                                The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

                                                He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
                                                "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
                                                She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

                                                The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
                                                Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

                                                You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

                                                "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

                                                "You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

                                                ........and, they lived happily ever after.

                                                Now, isn't that a sweet story?


                                                Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
                                                "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

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                                                • sniperwolf
                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                  • Mar 2005
                                                  • 17743

                                                  #25


                                                  nice one!
                                                  ~Accepting design works~

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                                                  • NetCashBrian
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Feb 2007
                                                    • 295

                                                    #26
                                                    Truth hurts
                                                    NetCash Brian
                                                    Chief Operating Officer
                                                    ICQ: 334-743-934
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                                                    • martinsc
                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                      • Jun 2005
                                                      • 27043

                                                      #27
                                                      Make Money

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                                                      • Dagwolf
                                                        President of Canada
                                                        • Sep 2003
                                                        • 23141

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by NetCashBrian
                                                        Truth hurts
                                                        Sleep well, and dream of large women.

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                                                        • the alchemist
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Dec 2004
                                                          • 3271

                                                          #29
                                                          Hahahahahaha awesome
                                                          264 349 400

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                                                          • Intricate
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Jun 2007
                                                            • 133

                                                            #30
                                                            Hell... if my wife did that, I'd be having the boys over to my basement bar and showing that woman off, assuming she's hot...rare find.

                                                            edit:

                                                            a couple times of doing that and she'd be saying "okay honey have fun at the bar..."
                                                            chesterbanksphp [.at.] gmail.com
                                                            icq: 350 656 495

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                                                            • pornvue
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Jun 2007
                                                              • 474

                                                              #31
                                                              very nice...i should try that some time
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                                                              • irinasp
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Apr 2007
                                                                • 2160

                                                                #32
                                                                I LIKE IT!!!!!

                                                                • Any questions? Contact me: 633 - 055 - 367

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                                                                • Ross
                                                                  Ik ben een aap
                                                                  • Sep 2002
                                                                  • 18874

                                                                  #33
                                                                  That joke was in a magazing over here a few weeks ago! I pissed myself laughing when I read it

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                                                                  • emjay
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Dec 2004
                                                                    • 4280

                                                                    #34

                                                                    I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
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                                                                    • carol.prime
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Jul 2006
                                                                      • 6960

                                                                      #35
                                                                      hahaha!! so guys you must learned your lesson.
                                                                      " do not go to bar after marriage unless......." lol
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                                                                      • Semi-Retired-Dave
                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                        • Apr 2004
                                                                        • 11190

                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by emjay

                                                                        That is a funny image.
                                                                        Support a Good Cause

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                                                                        • G-Rotica
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Aug 2005
                                                                          • 4258

                                                                          #37
                                                                          ok, who bugged my house?

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                                                                          • Jimmy Rock
                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                            • Feb 2005
                                                                            • 3055

                                                                            #38
                                                                            so true.. i have plenty of freinds that could attest to that
                                                                            Jimmy Rock | ICQ: 285 748 329
                                                                            [email protected]

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                                                                            • tomeatsdinner
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Jul 2007
                                                                              • 262

                                                                              #39
                                                                              hahaha.. So funny.. Its for real.

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                                                                              • mistergardener
                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                • Aug 2007
                                                                                • 746

                                                                                #40
                                                                                I can relate to that! LOL!

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                                                                                • gornyhuy
                                                                                  Chafed.
                                                                                  • May 2002
                                                                                  • 18041

                                                                                  #41

                                                                                  Its more like : cut to the last line without any of the goodies!

                                                                                  icq:159548293

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                                                                                  • Meeper
                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                    • Feb 2007
                                                                                    • 2642

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    hah yea that sounds pretty accurate
                                                                                    Nick "Meeper" Amoroso


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