Lesson in daily management (FUNNY)

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  • KRosh
    So Fucking Outlawed
    • Nov 2001
    • 5114

    #1

    Lesson in daily management (FUNNY)

    Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
    but she belonged to someone else...


    One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
    her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
    screw you. But the girl said NO.


    Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
    the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
    time you pick it up. "


    She thought for a moment and said that she would have
    to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
    boyfriend and told him the story.


    Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
    money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
    pants down."


    So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
    goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
    girlfriend to call.


    Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
    asks what happened.

    She responded, "The bastard used coins!"


    Management lesson:

    Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

    ICQ 115433750
  • baddog
    So Fucking Banned
    • Apr 2001
    • 107089

    #2
    good one

    Comment

    • Vick!
      Confirmed User
      • Nov 2005
      • 6882

      #3
      lolz great ..
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      Comment

      • Farang
        one sick puppy
        • Oct 2004
        • 11713

        #4
        that's great
        fbm

        Comment

        • DVTimes
          xxx
          • Jun 2003
          • 31650

          #5
          thats is very good.
          XXX

          Comment

          • CurrentlySober
            Too lazy to wipe my ass
            • Aug 2002
            • 38984

            #6
            Haa Haaa ! Kewl
            ️ ️

            Comment

            • Andiz
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2006
              • 2594

              #7
              I like that a lot.....

              Comment

              • Violetta
                Affiliate
                • Jul 2004
                • 28735

                #8
                hahaha... great!!
                M&A Queen

                Comment

                • ffmihai
                  keep walking...
                  • Jun 2002
                  • 7177

                  #9
                  not bad haha!

                  Comment

                  • RayBonga
                    too cool for highschool
                    • Nov 2005
                    • 12164

                    #10
                    Some more:

                    man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
                    shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
                    which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
                    quickly
                    wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
                    door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

                    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
                    towel
                    that you have on."

                    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
                    naked
                    in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and
                    leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman
                    wraps
                    back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

                    When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
                    "Who was that?"

                    "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
                    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he
                    owes me?"

                    Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
                    credit and risk in time with your shareholders, you may be in a
                    position
                    to prevent avoidable exposure.

                    A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
                    lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
                    comes
                    out in a puff of smoke.

                    The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give
                    each of
                    you just one."

                    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
                    Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Pouf!
                    She's
                    gone.

                    In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
                    be
                    in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
                    endless
                    supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Pouf! He's gone.
                    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
                    want those two back in the office after lunch."

                    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

                    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
                    saw
                    the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
                    day
                    long?"

                    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
                    below the crow, and
                    rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
                    ate it.

                    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
                    sitting
                    very, very high up.

                    A turkey was chatting with a bull.

                    "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
                    turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
                    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
                    bull.

                    "They're packed with nutrients."
                    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
                    him
                    enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next
                    day,
                    after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

                    Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the
                    top of
                    the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
                    out
                    of the tree.

                    Moral of the story: BS may get you to the top, but it
                    won't keep you there.

                    Comment

                    • martinsc
                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                      • Jun 2005
                      • 27043

                      #11
                      Make Money

                      Comment

                      • webair
                        Confirmed User
                        • Feb 2002
                        • 8531

                        #12
                        Thats Funny!


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                        • Doctor Dre
                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                          • Jan 2001
                          • 51692

                          #13
                          This is great, got anymore of theses ?
                          Originally posted by rayadp05
                          I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?

                          Comment

                          • u-Bob
                            there's no $$$ in porn
                            • Jul 2005
                            • 33063

                            #14
                            we want more

                            Comment

                            • KILL_FRENZY
                              Confirmed User
                              • Aug 2006
                              • 6184

                              #15
                              great one

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                              Comment

                              • tranza
                                ICQ: 197-556-237
                                • Jun 2003
                                • 57559

                                #16
                                That´s good!
                                I'm just a newbie.

                                Comment

                                • javok
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jun 2001
                                  • 710

                                  #17
                                  cool shit
                                  dickrate.com

                                  Comment

                                  • Rhesus
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Aug 2004
                                    • 2009

                                    #18
                                    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."

                                    MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!

                                    Comment

                                    • Rhesus
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Aug 2004
                                      • 2009

                                      #19
                                      Usually the junior executives and staff of the company generally play football; the middle level managers are more interested in tennis
                                      and the top management usually has a preference for Golf.

                                      MORAL OF THE STORY: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

                                      Comment

                                      • Rhesus
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Aug 2004
                                        • 2009

                                        #20
                                        A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

                                        MORAL OF THE STORY- Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

                                        Comment

                                        • Rhesus
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Aug 2004
                                          • 2009

                                          #21
                                          There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin, Germany's Chancellor Kohl, America's Dictator Bush and French Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is American's Randy. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

                                          MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you in.

                                          Comment

                                          • Rhesus
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Aug 2004
                                            • 2009

                                            #22
                                            A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
                                            pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

                                            Moral of the story:
                                            1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
                                            2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
                                            3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

                                            Comment

                                            • jonesonyou
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Sep 2003
                                              • 3853

                                              #23
                                              All of those are great lessons.

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                                              • gornyhuy
                                                Chafed.
                                                • May 2002
                                                • 18041

                                                #24
                                                This thread rawks! Thanks...

                                                icq:159548293

                                                Comment

                                                • KRosh
                                                  So Fucking Outlawed
                                                  • Nov 2001
                                                  • 5114

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by gornyhuy
                                                  This thread rawks! Thanks...
                                                  I am glad you like it
                                                  ICQ 115433750

                                                  Comment

                                                  • carol.prime
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Jul 2006
                                                    • 6960

                                                    #26
                                                    thanks for the lesson you have shared, i learned a lot!. lol
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                                                    • ADL Josh
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Feb 2007
                                                      • 3026

                                                      #27
                                                      haha, nice one!
                                                      ICQ: 395-433-632

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Clark Miller
                                                        Registered User
                                                        • Jun 2007
                                                        • 365

                                                        #28
                                                        The old coins on the floor trick... works every time!
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                                                        • hollinator
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Jul 2005
                                                          • 391

                                                          #29
                                                          This was a nice little mid-day read! Thanks!!!
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                                                          • VeriSexy
                                                            Join The Royal Family
                                                            • Apr 2002
                                                            • 25463

                                                            #30
                                                            lol funny one
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                                                            • Brother Bilo
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Jun 2007
                                                              • 4193

                                                              #31
                                                              Some of these are pretty good. The one about the shredder is the best, almost the exact same thing has happened to me

                                                              Comment

                                                              • shekinah
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • May 2006
                                                                • 8452

                                                                #32
                                                                lol.. I'm loving this thread!

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