HAHAH I Love Telemarketers!!!

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  • GTS Mark
    Vrume Mark
    • Jan 2001
    • 20912
    #1

    HAHAH I Love Telemarketers!!!

    So just like you guys I get my good share of telemarketers and damn they bug me!

    So today once calls me and I decide to fight back!

    I listened to their long sales speel about getting a subscription to the Toronto Star. So then just as she is about to get my information...

    I ask her to "hold on"

    Then I put the phone right next to my computer speakers and played this...

    http://www.thisispriceless.com/me/waste1.wav

    If no one can remember this famous clip. It is of our good friend "waste" from GFY after a hard night of drinking at after hour clubs in Toronto at the party in January. He is complaining about not getting any pussy!

    Thanks Waste that telemarketer will never call here again!

    DH
    Tags: None
    • jimmyf
      OU812
      • Feb 2001
      • 12651
      #2
      I ask'em for there home number...
      They will try to give you there work number.

      Tell'em no I want your home number...

      Which they won't give you..

      Ask why not you called me at home...

      Oh yes I forgot... They usually think your a fucking nut for asking for there home number.... Serious.
      Last edited by jimmyf; 06-07-2002, 02:57 PM.
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        • TopCashQ
          Confirmed User
          • Apr 2002
          • 141
          #3
          I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

          It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.
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            • Gator
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2002
              • 1119
              #4
              These assholes harass me all day. I am always looking for new ideas to get them back.
              Last edited by Gator; 06-07-2002, 02:56 PM.

                Comment

                • Flynn
                  pr0's goat screwed me
                  • Jan 2002
                  • 2083
                  #5
                  Originally posted by jimmyf
                  I ask'em for there home number...
                  They will try to give you there work number.

                  Tell'em no I want your home number...

                  Which they won't give you..

                  Ask why not you called me at home...

                  Oh yes I forgot... They usually think your a fucking nut for asking for there home number.... Serious.
                  Dude, there was a great Seinfeld episode where Jerry did the same shit to a telemarketer. good shit man ;)
                  blah blah blah

                    Comment

                    • Slick
                      Confirmed User
                      • Feb 2001
                      • 7338
                      #6
                      I get long distance carriers calling me ALL the fucking time. The thing that's really funny is that they act like they have this great big deal, then when they ask me who my current long distance provider is and my rate is, when I tell them that I pay 4.5 cents per minute, in state & out of state, 24/7, they just say "Sorry, we can't beat that, you're better off staying where you are" and hang up the phone, ha ha ha.

                        Comment

                        • Tipsy
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jul 2001
                          • 6989
                          #7
                          The joys of moving, getting a new number and being ex-directory
                          All I get these days is BT phoning to see if I'm OK and apologising. Doesn't stop the fuckers continuing to get it wrong though.
                          Ignorance is never bliss.

                            Comment

                            • foe
                              Confirmed User
                              • May 2002
                              • 5246
                              #8
                              whats that ringing noise in the backround

                                Comment

                                • foe
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • May 2002
                                  • 5246
                                  #9
                                  btw I like to play jokes on them as well, act mentaly disabled etc, it can get fun

                                    Comment

                                    • jimmyf
                                      OU812
                                      • Feb 2001
                                      • 12651
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by Tipsy
                                      The joys of moving, getting a new number and being ex-directory
                                      All I get these days is BT phoning to see if I'm OK and apologising. Doesn't stop the fuckers continuing to get it wrong though.
                                      I thought I wasn't going to get any when I moved to Fresno and got an unlisted number...
                                      I still get'em but not as many but I get'em.
                                      They have computer's.
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                                        • foe
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • May 2002
                                          • 5246
                                          #11
                                          There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database

                                            Comment

                                            • Tipsy
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jul 2001
                                              • 6989
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by jimmyf


                                              I thought I wasn't going to get any when I moved to Fresno and got an unlisted number...
                                              I still get'em but not as many but I get'em.
                                              They have computer's.
                                              Hmmm...we gotta be luckier in the UK then in that respect. Been here a year now and haven't had one. Making sure I check all the 'don't give my details out' boxes actually seems to work.
                                              Ignorance is never bliss.

                                                Comment

                                                • foe
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • May 2002
                                                  • 5246
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Tipsy


                                                  Hmmm...we gotta be luckier in the UK then in that respect. Been here a year now and haven't had one. Making sure I check all the 'don't give my details out' boxes actually seems to work.
                                                  that definelty depends on the site, I have done custom work for several companies which do not respect that in ANY way at all.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Jakke PNG
                                                      ex-TeenGodFather
                                                      • Nov 2001
                                                      • 20306
                                                      #14
                                                      Some old woman called me this morning @ 6:30 and asked if I wanted to donate money for some retard-school or something. I think after I had a good 30 minute sleep that night I was pretty rude to her.
                                                      ..and I'm off.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • dipshit moron retard
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Apr 2002
                                                          • 667
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by Gator
                                                          These assholes harass me all day. I am always looking for new ideas to get them back.
                                                          act interested and get them to talk for as long as possible, then just say 'not interested' and hang up or something otherwise abrupt. making these guys run through the entire thing and giving them a small glimmer of hope you might just be dumb enough to buy and then letting them down with no explanation at the end really wears on them. sometimes i just say "im gay" over and over again as soon as they start talking until they hang up on me. they usually say 'Sir?' about 50 times first.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Tipsy
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Jul 2001
                                                              • 6989
                                                              #16
                                                              Like I say - seems we're luckier for the most part in the UK in that respect.
                                                              Ignorance is never bliss.

                                                                Comment

                                                                • jimmyf
                                                                  OU812
                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                  • 12651
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by foe
                                                                  There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database
                                                                  I've seen ad's on TV for those things wonder if they work..

                                                                  Phone company's are all screwed up and really don't care about there customers.... I guess the worse is MCI... man my office mate in the Bay Area went through some shit with them...

                                                                  I thought it was funny... he didn't....
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                                                                    • Due
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Mar 2001
                                                                      • 3620
                                                                      #18
                                                                      I actually worked as a Telemarketer before started on my online ventures.
                                                                      Was a awesome job. I actually miss it sometimes. You also learn a lot about how to manipulate so you get it your way
                                                                      I buy plugs
                                                                      Skype: Due_Global
                                                                      /Due

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • foe
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • May 2002
                                                                          • 5246
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by Due
                                                                          I actually worked as a Telemarketer before started on my online ventures.
                                                                          Was a awesome job. I actually miss it sometimes. You also learn a lot about how to manipulate so you get it your way
                                                                          Does it help you no when negotiating?

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • cherrylula
                                                                              lol
                                                                              • Jan 2002
                                                                              • 15969
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Honestly, my phone rang this morning and when I looked at the caller id to decide if I was going to pick up, it said

                                                                              CHURCH OF JESUS

                                                                              wtf??? I did not answer, they did not leave a message either. If they call back, I suppose I will have to answer it and perhaps have a little fun with the call. hehehe. Maybe I will mention what I do for a living, and rattle off some of my url's. I bet it would give me some quality hits hahahaha

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Due
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Mar 2001
                                                                                  • 3620
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by foe


                                                                                  Does it help you no when negotiating?
                                                                                  Yes a LOT.
                                                                                  You learn a lot about dealing with people in different situations.
                                                                                  At least if you worked withl B2B
                                                                                  Last edited by Due; 06-07-2002, 04:35 PM.
                                                                                  I buy plugs
                                                                                  Skype: Due_Global
                                                                                  /Due

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • SykkBoy2
                                                                                      Jesus loves bacon
                                                                                      • Feb 2001
                                                                                      • 19969
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      I, too, did a lot of telemarketing...even managed a few sales offices...I learned a lot about negotiating and sales...if you can sell someone something over the phone sight unseen, it's a gift and only about 1-2% of those who walked through the door to make their fortune will even stay long enough to make anything worthwhile anyways.......I remember the good old days of $1200-1500 weeks hawking vitamins, ad specs, wireless cable lisences, sports info.......

                                                                                      I love the scene in "Glengarry Glen Ross" when Alec Baldwin is giving his spiel about "you suck and are a lousy bastard" and in "Boiler Room" when ben Affleck does ther "ear to ear" speech...I used to love giving those speeches....

                                                                                      best thing to do with any contest or premium promotion type telemarketers (are there any of those left?) is to ask for them to disclaim you....then, by law, they have to give you the phone number to call to claim your "prize" without benefit of purchase....

                                                                                      as for the long distance company calls, I just start asking for phone or I've even gone so far as to start asking questions like "can you save me money on phone sex? that shit costs like $3 a minute and I'm an ugly freak of nature and a loser, so can't afford those rates" and go into a long spiel about how I was hated as a child and my father used to beat me with a section of garden hose while forcing me to dress as a french maid....I love telemarketers
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                                                                                        • PicsULove
                                                                                          Registered User
                                                                                          • Apr 2002
                                                                                          • 82
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          hahah my brother and i used to have contests to see who could keep them on the longest....
                                                                                          we'd have friendly chats and soemtimes theyd be so bored they would talk for 10+minutes since they didnt want to call another house and get hung up on....ah so fun hah
                                                                                          <a href="http://www.PicsULove.com>PicsULove.com</a>

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                                                                                            • Sly_RJ
                                                                                              Live Hard - Die Hard
                                                                                              • Feb 2002
                                                                                              • 17042
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Whenever they call me I just pretend I'm on the crapper with a violent case of diarrhea. Describing each and every detail. Everything from the burning sensation to the rotten smell of digested boiled eggs.
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                                                                                                • tiger
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                                                                  • 6986
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  I've got the caller ID block on my phone so that anyone that doesn't allow me to see their number is not allowed to call me.

                                                                                                  Funny thing in the year since I've had it I haven't received a single fucking call. I used to get minimum 2 per day. I don't care what anyone says those assholes are 10 million times worse then any email spammer.

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Pathfinder
                                                                                                      theking of trailer parks
                                                                                                      • Sep 2001
                                                                                                      • 2290
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by TopCashQ
                                                                                                      I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

                                                                                                      It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.
                                                                                                      If I am in the mood to play I use the technique of trying to sell them something, but I start before they get into their sales pitch. I usually start off by saying something like "Oh you are calling about my add in the paper" and proceed to provide details about a car, truck, RV, etc. Every time they try to interrupt I will add a few more details. They usually end up hanging up one me.

                                                                                                      One time one started off by telling me it was my lucky day and that I had won $10,000.00 all I had to do was to send them X amount of dollars for whatever, in order to collect the money. I said; no it is your lucky day. I don't need the money, so I give you permission to pay the fees and just keep the money for yourself.

                                                                                                      Usually I just hang up on them.
                                                                                                      Last edited by Pathfinder; 06-07-2002, 08:45 PM.

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • SleazyDream
                                                                                                          I'm here for SPORT
                                                                                                          • Jul 2001
                                                                                                          • 41470
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          just tell em you're naked and horny.
                                                                                                          This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

                                                                                                          Now read without the word dog.

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                                                                                                            • fantasycontent
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Apr 2002
                                                                                                              • 2104
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by TopCashQ
                                                                                                              I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

                                                                                                              It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.
                                                                                                              I actually ask the telemaketers to give my number to others in their office to call me. The approach you have to take is when they start stop them and ask if they are over 18 yrs. If they say yes tell them you are more then happy to hear all about their products but that they have to hear your shpiel FIRST (i made the mistake of listening to them first and they hung up when i started). Most usually agree and I always tell them about my adult video site or ask if they surfer adult sites (though none admit to this). I also tell them as a telemarketers special if they act now they can get one and the other for 1/2 price! I call it the telemarketer special lol. If they tell you they are not interesed tell them thanks for your time but I would not be interested in your services either but if you know anyonw who might need a video please have them call me. I have actually had 2 tell me they would check out the site when they got home. This is marketing at it's best on their dime!!!
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                                                                                                                • Slick
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                  • 7338
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Oh yeah, that reminds me of the phone calls that I get every couple of weeks wanting me to donate money to buy bullet-proof vests for the police in my area. It's pretty funny though because my local news and radio actually had local police come out and said that it was a scam to beware of those calls. I did bring that up to them the last time they called and they said that they didn't know that I was talking about, that they're 100% legit, ha ha ha.

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Hot Tropical Babes
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                      • 3014
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      I hand the phone to my secretary (my three year old daughter)


                                                                                                                      Sometimes, I ask the telemarketer for their home phone number so I can call back at 3am. I explain I hope they are sound asleep when I call.
                                                                                                                      <BR>
                                                                                                                      Trade with Big Tits TGP
                                                                                                                      Trade with Titman

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                                                                                                                        • LoveAsianChicks
                                                                                                                          Registered User
                                                                                                                          • Mar 2002
                                                                                                                          • 1464
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          If you get a female caller say this:

                                                                                                                          "your voice is really sexy, do you mind If I touch myself while you talk?"

                                                                                                                          they hangup.

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • PersianKitty
                                                                                                                              Meow Media Inc.
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                              • 7785
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Originally posted by foe
                                                                                                                              There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database
                                                                                                                              The Tele-Zapper... cheap, can be bought online or at Radio Shack and other place and yes it appears to work for the most part. Before placing it on my biz line at home, I was getting several sales calls a day. Most I get now..the zapper kills em and there's no one there when I pick up.

                                                                                                                              I have all the caller ID blocks (requiring them to press 1 to show their number), etc on my phones, but there are still many from out of state, etc, that get through that.

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • Pete
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                                  • 6617
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  I think its rude for these people to phone me at home and interupt my life so I return the favour by hanging up on them as they are in the middle of there sales pitch
                                                                                                                                  Evoke Electronics

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                                                                                                                                    • mike503
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • May 2002
                                                                                                                                      • 2243
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      yeah there's a funny campaign called the "please hold" campaign or something. basically when they call, you say "please hold" and go do some chores... maybe check in once in a while, and hopefully you can keep them on the line for 10 minutes. if everyone did this, the telemarketers' # of calls per day would be so shitty they'd go out of business.

                                                                                                                                      also, another thing you can do is to scare the piss out of them. when someone calls have your girlfriend or wife screaming the background and tell the person that you just tried unsuccessfully to flush her abortion down the toilet...
                                                                                                                                      php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz.

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                                                                                                                                        • mike503
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • May 2002
                                                                                                                                          • 2243
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by PersianKitty


                                                                                                                                          The Tele-Zapper... cheap, can be bought online or at Radio Shack and other place and yes it appears to work for the most part. Before placing it on my biz line at home, I was getting several sales calls a day. Most I get now..the zapper kills em and there's no one there when I pick up.
                                                                                                                                          too much money in telemarketing, just like too much money in spam. they'll find a way around it, or one of the techs who made it will be bribed or sell off the secrets on how to get around it.

                                                                                                                                          but at least it gives you some silence, for now...

                                                                                                                                          the only way to stay cool is to use a unix-based hosts.allow/deny method of security with them. basically DENY all, ALLOW only from the numbers i recognize. then no LD people, no caller-id blocked people, no one gets to talk to you besides the few people you allow.
                                                                                                                                          php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz.

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                                                                                                                                            • Wizzo
                                                                                                                                              2011 GFY Hall of Fame!
                                                                                                                                              • Nov 2000
                                                                                                                                              • 15224
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Use it as a oppertunity to "spread the word of JeSus".....Tell them you can save them, that they are sinner and you want to help them out... Blah Blah Blah....They will hang up pretty quick...

                                                                                                                                              Also, a good leader into that is ask them do they think Jesus would buy what they are selling?
                                                                                                                                              Looking for Opportunity!

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