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artman

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#1

How much $ are you supposed to give at weddings?

07-20-2007, 10:06 AM

I have a bunch of weddings coming up, I don't know what the proper cash giving etiquette is. It will be me +1 for each one.

3 are good friends
2 are people i kinda sorta know.

what do i give?
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#2

07-20-2007, 10:09 AM

a friend I give $500 .. you have to figure its costing him about $200 to have you and a date there. ( in NY anyway)

Family gets $1000

Sorta know ... $300 .. (cover dinner and $100 or so left over)

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#3

07-20-2007, 10:17 AM

Damn you give $500? I need to get married quick. Pay day!

Since many people have small weddings these days due to costs, I highly doubt many people give gifts of $500. Call me cheap if you want, but I think $100-200 for family (depending on relationship) and $50-100 for friend (again) would be fine.

Of course, it always depends on what kind of money you have available to you, too.

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Peaches

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#4

07-20-2007, 10:19 AM

Don't people register for gifts any more??!!
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#5

07-20-2007, 10:20 AM

jebus that much lol? We do a gift card to the place they have a registry or purchase something off their registry for them.
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#6

07-20-2007, 10:21 AM

Enough so that the divorce attorney isn't such a burden on them.
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artman

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#7

07-20-2007, 10:21 AM

Originally posted by Peaches

Don't people register for gifts any more??!!

I was under the impression that gifts were for the showers and cash were for the wedding?
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#8

07-20-2007, 10:21 AM

Originally posted by Sly

Damn you give $500? I need to get married quick. Pay day!

Since many people have small weddings these days due to costs, I highly doubt many people give gifts of $500. Call me cheap if you want, but I think $100-200 for family (depending on relationship) and $50-100 for friend (again) would be fine.

Of course, it always depends on what kind of money you have available to you, too.

if you have a wedding at any decent place in NY your paying $100 to $150 a person for the reception . the cost for a couple to come is at least $200 so you need to at least cover that and then you want to give a gift. now I've gone to weddings in FL and its much cheaper and you can give $150 - $200 as a gift.

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BradM

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#9

07-20-2007, 10:23 AM

My average cash/gift donation was about $75-100 from each FAMILY.

My parents gave me 1k, which was by far the biggest.

Then again my wife is a jew so that would explain why her side of the family was so damn cheap.
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artman

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#10

07-20-2007, 10:23 AM

Originally posted by MikeVega

a friend I give $500 .. you have to figure its costing him about $200 to have you and a date there. ( in NY anyway)

Family gets $1000

Sorta know ... $300 .. (cover dinner and $100 or so left over)

wow, thats too rich for my blood, want to come to my wedding in a few years?

any non rich people want to chime in lol?
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#11

07-20-2007, 10:26 AM

Originally posted by Sly

Call me cheap if you want, but I think $100-200 for family (depending on relationship) and $50-100 for friend (again) would be fine.

do you attend a wedding every week?

I don't use ICQ anymore.
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#12

07-20-2007, 10:27 AM

if you attend like 2 weddings per year you can surely give more than $50 for a friend, heh

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#13

07-20-2007, 10:28 AM

Originally posted by artman

I was under the impression that gifts were for the showers and cash were for the wedding?

Back when my friends and I were getting married it was always gifts - gifts at showers and the wedding. Giving cash was considered "tacky", lol. Now, taking all the gifts BACK and getting cash has been done forever. I had a friend just take her DUPLICATES back (she also had 11 showers - oy) and completely furnish her house with the $$$

But cash - I think that's a recent thing. And I'm still not sure it's done in the south.
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#14

07-20-2007, 10:34 AM

Originally posted by MikeVega

if you have a wedding at any decent place in NY your paying $100 to $150 a person for the reception . the cost for a couple to come is at least $200 so you need to at least cover that and then you want to give a gift. now I've gone to weddings in FL and its much cheaper and you can give $150 - $200 as a gift.

I don't know man. I like helping the people out, but fuck, its their celebration. They should expect to go out of pocket.

It isn't like the people getting married are the only one spending money. It cost well over a grand to go to one of my relatives weddings. Then I'm supposed to give another $500? I think not.

I'm sure you get invited to many weddings!

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#15

07-20-2007, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by aico

Enough so that the divorce attorney isn't such a burden on them.

haha, good call bro.

blah blah blah
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artman

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#16

07-20-2007, 10:38 AM

I am new to this whole going to wedding things,
one thing i don't understand is gift registries.
Lets say you wanted to get something from the registry and all the things in your price range are already taken (since i guess lots of places show what's been bought by other people)
do you buy like 10 smaller items and just wrap em all up in one box? or just go for the duplicate?
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#17

07-20-2007, 10:43 AM

if i ever get married mikevega is getting an invitation.

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#18

07-20-2007, 10:43 AM

I hate weddings, and personally don't see much point in them...

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#19

07-20-2007, 10:44 AM

Originally posted by MikeVega

if you have a wedding at any decent place in NY your paying $100 to $150 a person for the reception . the cost for a couple to come is at least $200 so you need to at least cover that and then you want to give a gift. now I've gone to weddings in FL and its much cheaper and you can give $150 - $200 as a gift.

This theory is exactly right. It is supposed to depend on where it will be and what the expense of the wedding is. It's more of a thank you to the couple for allowing you to share their day and festivities with them. If it's a run away elope in Vegas, the $ gift would be much less than an elaborate, expensive ceremony.

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#20

07-20-2007, 10:47 AM

Here is a little tip for all you suckers wanting to get married. When you do sign your future earning away, the best way to get a shitload of gifts is to send invitations to all the congress/politician people. They of course will not come to your wedding, but they will send you a gift because they don't want to seem like they forgot who you are (even though you know you never met them).
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#21

07-20-2007, 10:52 AM

Originally posted by aico

Here is a little tip for all you suckers wanting to get married. When you do sign your future earning away, the best way to get a shitload of gifts is to send invitations to all the congress/politician people. They of course will not come to your wedding, but they will send you a gift because they don't want to seem like they forgot who you are (even though you know you never met them).

My mother "invited" all her rich friends in FL. We knew they wouldn't come but I got loads of crystal, silver, china, etc. from them
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#22

07-20-2007, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by BradM

Then again my wife is a jew so that would explain why her side of the family was so damn cheap.
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#23

07-20-2007, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by artman

I am new to this whole going to wedding things,
one thing i don't understand is gift registries.
Lets say you wanted to get something from the registry and all the things in your price range are already taken (since i guess lots of places show what's been bought by other people)
do you buy like 10 smaller items and just wrap em all up in one box? or just go for the duplicate?

10 smaller itens....

I'm just a newbie.
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#24

07-20-2007, 10:56 AM

Originally posted by BradM

Then again my wife is a jew so that would explain why her side of the family was so damn cheap.

lol,
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#25

07-20-2007, 11:13 AM

if it just a friend I would say $100 per person is about right but close friends and family I usually go $200 t0 $250 per person

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#26

07-20-2007, 11:13 AM

i only pay at divorces
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I am chauncy

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#27

07-20-2007, 11:13 AM

if it just a friend I would say $100 per person is about right but close friends and family I usually go $200 t0 $250 per person

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#28

07-20-2007, 11:25 AM

i only pay at divorces
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#29

07-20-2007, 11:33 AM

If I know the bride I use the registry to buy a gift.
If I only know the groom about $200 for close friends.
Not so close friends - I usually don't attend the wedding and send a gift $100 or less.
Family - I give as much as I can afford to.

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#30

07-20-2007, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by Sly

I don't know man. I like helping the people out, but fuck, its their celebration. They should expect to go out of pocket.

It isn't like the people getting married are the only one spending money. It cost well over a grand to go to one of my relatives weddings. Then I'm supposed to give another $500? I think not.

I'm sure you get invited to many weddings!

If the wedding is out of state and you have to fly out then i agree that you should only cover the cost of your plate but if your local then it really costs nothing to go and you'll eat and drink for 5 hours with friends and family. you should cover your dinner cost and then give the couple something to help them get started.

for the record i also tip the staff really well. I worked at a country club many years ago as a bartender and i know how hard a job it is. I always give the girl that works my table $20-$40 depending on how well she takes care of the table and the bartenders get a $20 when i walk in and $2 a drink after that. so if i order 5 drinks I'm dropping a $10. I've been to weddings where I've left $60 for the bar over the course of the night. that's just me .

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#31

07-20-2007, 01:52 PM

Originally posted by MikeVega

a friend I give $500 .. you have to figure its costing him about $200 to have you and a date there. ( in NY anyway)

Family gets $1000

Sorta know ... $300 .. (cover dinner and $100 or so left over)

What?

The wedding party rarely pays for you to be there. Their parents do the paying...

So $300 for someone you don't know is ridiculously high!

I'd give em $100 to $200 depending on how drunk I am...

Friends $300.... Good friends $500...

Family $500 - $1000 depending on if they were a cousin or a sibling.
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#32

07-20-2007, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by MikeVega

If the wedding is out of state and you have to fly out then i agree that you should only cover the cost of your plate

You must go to a lot of 2nd and 3rd time weddings or something...

That is the only time the wedding party paid for your plate...
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#33

07-20-2007, 02:07 PM

I know lots of people that pay part or most of the wedding costs and even if they don't I'm giving because i want them to have a nice chunk of change to start off with. if it was a 2nd wedding i would give less but a first time young couple starting off i want to help. many people i know put the money they make from the wedding right toward their first house. I may not be the norm but i like to know that i helped get them started with their new life.

Example: My brother in-law just got married 3 months ago. my in-laws paid about $10k of the $30k the wedding cost. the rest was paid for by my brother in law and new wife. now $10k is a great gift from his parents but still put them $20k in the hole. I gave them a $1200 plasma tv for their new place and $500 cash to help them cover the debt they put themselves into paying for the wedding. they didn't have to pay the full $20k all at once they paid bits and pieces over the past year as they booked things but it still hurts for a new couple. and $30k in NY is a small wedding. I've been to $100k weddings in the past year.

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#34

07-20-2007, 02:07 PM

I agree 100% with MikeVega. I was taught that you're suppose to give at least enough to cover "your plate" plus $50-$100+ on top of it. So I usually give $150-$300.

If your gift is less than the cost of the plate you look cheap.

At least that's how I was taught....

Last edited by Meloman; 07-20-2007, 02:09 PM.
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#35

07-20-2007, 02:10 PM

at least $10k. what's your address so I can send you an invite
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#36

07-20-2007, 02:12 PM

a gram of coke was the standard back when I got married
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#37

07-20-2007, 02:17 PM

I paid for my wedding.

I also told everyone to just send cash instead of gifts. Plus cash is sort of tradition in my background. Now my per person costs was 38.00 not including location or alcohol.

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#38

07-20-2007, 02:20 PM

Originally posted by aico

Enough so that the divorce attorney isn't such a burden on them.

Thats great!
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#39

07-20-2007, 02:21 PM

give them singles so it'll look like its a lot of $..

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#40

07-20-2007, 02:21 PM

Originally posted by SuzzyQ

Thats great!

Write a Fast Divorce's Lawyer's name on the bills..

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#41

07-20-2007, 02:23 PM

Always if not good friends asume 50$ a head so people you don;t really know 100$ for freinds I would add the 100$for you ebing there + another 100$ just because

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#42

07-20-2007, 02:58 PM

I just went to a wedding last weekend, it wasn't a very fancy dancy event but it was for a good friend. I gave $300 for me and my wife...

From what I have been told it's basically the cost of having you at the event (dinner/drinks etc..)

I usually give more because I tend to drink like a fish at these events LOL!

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#43

07-20-2007, 04:07 PM

Lol. Some of you guys seem really cheap, but then again, i don't know how it is where you live. I drop'd 12k on my wedding, and per person cost was around $100. I didn't expect to brake even after the wedding ofcourse, since there was alot of familly, so you pay for 5 people, and get only one envelope, but that's not important. Good thing my relatives weren't stingy on money. I agree with Mike on this one, seems like a guy that knows manners. If i go to someone's wedding, $200 is the minimum i give, for people that i barelly know. For friends and relatives, it just goes up, and depends on the current financial status i'm at that time.

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#44

07-21-2007, 04:13 AM

Originally posted by artman

I have a bunch of weddings coming up, I don't know what the proper cash giving etiquette is. It will be me +1 for each one.

3 are good friends
2 are people i kinda sorta know.

what do i give?

Really depends on where you live.

A good rule of thumb, is what ever you think it costs per head at the reception .. is what goes in the envelope.

For a good Friend, I make a little honeymoon basket of goodies along w/ the green.

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#45

07-21-2007, 05:07 AM

$200 is the usual gift we give.

Plus - we'll blow another $100+ if there is a cash bar at the reception.
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#46

07-21-2007, 05:18 AM

Originally posted by MikeVega

a friend I give $500 .. you have to figure its costing him about $200 to have you and a date there. ( in NY anyway)

Family gets $1000

Sorta know ... $300 .. (cover dinner and $100 or so left over)

I have the almost same princip....just in euros
friends gets 300-500 eur,sorta-know 200-300 and familly 1k euro
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