call her and let her know that you hadn't been able to compose yourself after seeing the state of your place or you would have talked to her sooner. tell her you were shocked and mortified at the condition of the place and let her know what you found. ask her to explain herself and then say nothing more so she is forced to speak. let her ramble on or hear her say "what do you mean?". tell her it was totally unacceptable and a good friend would never dream of trashing your place. move her to the aquaintence category after the call. that's what i would do anyway
