Originally Posted by raymor

Is this her first time buying a car? Hopefully grandma and grandpa will help her with how to buy
a car, to the extent that they know how. At 20 years old, that's perfectly right that she wants to
do this, as it's time that she learns to sell and buy a car. Your job as dad (or grandfather) is to
be her assistant, helping her with her first car buying experience. I've found that taking that
tack often works. "This is exciting, you're buying your own car for the first time. How cool.
Since it's your first time, I'd be glad to assist in any way you'd like. I can ride along with you in
case you want to ask any questions or anything."

It's up to her to ask questions, you (or someone) is offering to be there, mouth shut, until she
wants some input, just as you would do with any of your friends. You wouldn't tell your best
friend what to buy or how to buy unless he asked.

For used car buying specifically, I have two paper checklists which I always use. They have
come in handy with less experienced friends and family because I can say "these lists are
helpful to me. They help me make sure I don't forget to check something important, so I
don't buy a lemon or pay way too much for a car with problems. Here's a copy in case they
may be as helpful to you as they are to me." The cool thing about the checklists is that I'm
not saying I know more than the person I'm talking too. I'm saying that I am helped
by the checklist because I can't remember everything that should be checked. That makes it
easy for them to accept the lists, rather than accepting my advise coming down from on high.