Texas VS. California

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • czarina
    Webmaster Extraordinaire
    • Jul 2002
    • 10751

    #1

    Texas VS. California

    The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

    The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

    He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

    The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

    The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

    The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

    The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.

    PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.


    TEXAS :

    The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
    The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

    The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
  • Chris
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • May 2003
    • 27880

    #2
    but texas is one of the brokest states
    good joke but texas doesnt fit

    http://www.businessinsider.com/texas...-crisis-2011-1
    [email protected]

    Comment

    • TheDoc
      Too lazy to set a custom title
      • Jul 2001
      • 13827

      #3
      Agree with Chris...Joke is funny, but Texas couldn't afford the round.

      Texas is overly screwed. One minute they're beggggggging the Fed for more money, stimulus money, totally f'in broke - the next the Gov is out screaming about succeeding from the State and that they can afford it, pay for schools (which are totally broke) and so on..

      Texas is one of the most f'ed up States right now and with the new Affiliate law on the way, it's about to get kicked in the balls once again.
      ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825
      It's all disambiguation

      Comment

      • pornguy
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Mar 2003
        • 62910

        #4
        Good joke no matter what.
        PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic

        AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online!
        TChicks.com | Angeles Cid | Mariana Cordoba | MAILERS WELCOME!

        Comment

        • Rochard
          Jägermeister Test Pilot
          • Dec 2001
          • 75733

          #5
          Funny joke.

          I think most states are screwed. It's just simple math - All future spending was planned out on what they expected to collect tax wise, and when everything went out South their income went down while their expense (mostly unemployment) went through the roof.
          Herschel Savage
          Brooklyn, NY

          Comment

          • TheDoc
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Jul 2001
            • 13827

            #6
            Texas is a bit special Rochard... Texas for example had more than enough for schools, yet took stimulus money for schools, spent on the schools, then turned around and spent the State schools funds on other b.s., making it so when they run out of stimulus money they have no money, meaning they have to beg the fed for more while bashing them at the same time.

            Very few States are as ass backwards as Texas has become.
            ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825
            It's all disambiguation

            Comment

            • Agent 488
              Registered User
              • Feb 2006
              • 22511

              #7
              too long .... didn't read ...

              Comment

              • Vendzilla
                Biker Gnome
                • Mar 2004
                • 23200

                #8
                for those that think texas is screwed, I can't imagine a state being more screwed than California
                Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants
                think about that

                Comment

                • TheDoc
                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                  • Jul 2001
                  • 13827

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Vendzilla
                  for those that think texas is screwed, I can't imagine a state being more screwed than California
                  They're screwed in totally different ways.... Cali could unscrew itself by one adjustment alone, how it sells/deals with its resources. Texas, thinks unscrewing itself means succeeding from the States, which is dangerous for the entire Country.
                  ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825
                  It's all disambiguation

                  Comment

                  • LAJ
                    Gingerific
                    • Jun 2001
                    • 5567

                    #10
                    Texas is a pretty screwed state. A drive thru the backwoods where some of the most conservative people live, there is nothing but boarded up buildings, junk shops and poverty. But hey, as long as gay marriage doesn't happen, none of the rest seems to matter to them. Oh and Governor Perry is a douche.

                    However... the state has an oasis... AUSTIN. I never lived in a better metro area in my life. Thankfully we are protected from hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, desert and ignorance with much of the rest of the state. SO I guess in that regard... THANKS.
                    YNOT.com - The original industry resource
                    email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

                    Comment

                    • 96ukssob
                      So Fucking Banananananas
                      • Mar 2003
                      • 12991

                      #11
                      i dont think this is a true story...
                      Email: Clicky on Me

                      Comment

                      Working...