The jewish jokes thread

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  • emjay
    Confirmed User
    • Dec 2004
    • 4280

    #1

    The jewish jokes thread

    OK, i'll start:

    Jewish boy to Father : Dad, can I borrow $100?

    Father : $80?! What do you need $60 for?

    I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
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  • Dirty F
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jul 2001
    • 59204

    #2
    Where does a jewish guy hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.

    Comment

    • emjay
      Confirmed User
      • Dec 2004
      • 4280

      #3
      Originally posted by Dirty Franck
      Where does a jewish guy hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.

      I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
      www.emjayconsultancy.com

      Comment

      • psili
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2003
        • 5526

        #4
        Courtesy of Bash.org:

        <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
        <Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
        <RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
        <Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
        <RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
        Your post count means nothing.

        Comment

        • Michaelious
          Confirmed User
          • Jan 2004
          • 6720

          #5
          What did the Jew say to the bank teller?

          I want MORE!

          Comment

          • KILL_FRENZY
            Confirmed User
            • Aug 2006
            • 6184

            #6
            Originally posted by emjay
            OK, i'll start:

            Jewish boy to Father : Dad, can I borrow $100?

            Father : $80?! What do you need $60 for?

            That's so fucking good

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            Comment

            • KILL_FRENZY
              Confirmed User
              • Aug 2006
              • 6184

              #7
              Why jewish have a big nose ? Because the air is FREE

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              • k0nr4d
                Confirmed User
                • Aug 2006
                • 9231

                #8
                This was a broadcast message on some IRC network, I don't remember which, i think it was efnet.

                -Global- we have opened up 2 new chat chans. For canadians go to #canada , For jews go to #ConcentrationCamp
                Mechanical Bunny Media
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                • KRosh
                  So Fucking Outlawed
                  • Nov 2001
                  • 5114

                  #9
                  Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)







                  Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

                  ICQ 115433750

                  Comment

                  • KILL_FRENZY
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2006
                    • 6184

                    #10
                    Originally posted by KRosh
                    Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)


                    Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back


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                    • Gumballs
                      Confirmed User
                      • Apr 2007
                      • 250

                      #11
                      A Jew and an Italian are walking down the street together and talking about life in general, the Italian looks across the street and spots a beautiful blond with massive tits and a perfect ass.

                      The Italian says to the Jew, Man! I would really love to fuck her.

                      The Jew says, Out of what?
                      http://www.adultpayprocessing.com/

                      Comment

                      • woj
                        <&(©¿©)&>
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 47880

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Gumballs
                        A Jew and an Italian are walking down the street together and talking about life in general, the Italian looks across the street and spots a beautiful blond with massive tits and a perfect ass.

                        The Italian says to the Jew, Man! I would really love to fuck her.

                        The Jew says, Out of what?
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                        • SexualDragon
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2006
                          • 3038

                          #13
                          did you hear about the new jewish car?






















                          It stops on a dime.

                          Then it picks it up.
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                          Comment

                          • You Forgot Poland
                            So Fucking Banned
                            • Jun 2007
                            • 286

                            #14

                            Comment

                            • xNetworx
                              So Fucking What
                              • Jan 2004
                              • 14445

                              #15
                              I heard somebody call a cash register a "Jewish Piano" ... that was funny imo

                              Comment

                              • MaDalton
                                I am Amazing Content!
                                • Feb 2004
                                • 39861

                                #16
                                found this today on a website - i wonder how they figured out the pig is jewish

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                                • Damian_Maxcash
                                  So Fucking Banned
                                  • Oct 2002
                                  • 12745

                                  #17
                                  Have you heard about the new German Microwave?

                                  It seats six.....

                                  Comment

                                  • xxweekxx
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Oct 2002
                                    • 6780

                                    #18
                                    lol.........
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                                    • notabook
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Apr 2006
                                      • 9748

                                      #19
                                      What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

                                      Comment

                                      • TBrown
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Oct 2006
                                        • 1519

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by notabook
                                        What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.
                                        that wasn't too good



                                        mcbrown

                                        Comment

                                        • kmanrox
                                          aka K-Man
                                          • Oct 2001
                                          • 29295

                                          #21
                                          you guys don't plan to do any real business in this industry, do yas?
                                          Crypto HODLr
                                          Crypto mining
                                          Angel investor

                                          Comment

                                          • bronco67
                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                            • Dec 2006
                                            • 29026

                                            #22
                                            one of them Priest Rabbi minister jokes...

                                            A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to start a new church together as an experiment. They're trying to decide how the money will be handled, and the priest makes the first suggestion...he says " we'll draw a line on the floor, then throw the money into the air. Whatever lands to the right of line, will go to us. Whatever lands on the left side will go to god."

                                            The minister says, "how about we just draw circle? the money that lands outside the circle will go to us. What lands inside will go to god."

                                            the Rabbi says, "Let's just throw the money into the air...whatever God can catch, he can keep."

                                            Comment

                                            • Adultnet
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Sep 2003
                                              • 8713

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by KRosh
                                              Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)







                                              Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

                                              lol ...


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                                              • notabook
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Apr 2006
                                                • 9748

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by adpayoutbrown
                                                that wasn't too good
                                                What's the difference between a Jew and a gas chamber? A gas chamber has never been inside a Jew.

                                                Comment

                                                • PostWhore
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                  • 4720

                                                  #25
                                                  Whats a difference between a jew and a canoo?























                                                  The Canoo tips!!
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                                                  Comment

                                                  • calibra
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Feb 2003
                                                    • 4357

                                                    #26
                                                    I like this thread, LOL!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • zeruel
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Apr 2007
                                                      • 1387

                                                      #27
                                                      hahaha!!! nice thread!!! LOL!

                                                      Comment

                                                      • emjay
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Dec 2004
                                                        • 4280

                                                        #28
                                                        A totally naked woman jumps into Moish Goldberg's taxi and says, "Take me to Brooklyn."

                                                        Moish looks at her and says, "Lady, how are you going to pay for the ride? You're totally naked and don't even have a pocketbook."

                                                        The woman points between her legs and says, "How about with this?"

                                                        Moish replies, "Lady, ain't you got anything smaller?"
                                                        I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
                                                        www.emjayconsultancy.com

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Fap
                                                          Just Du It
                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                          • 12094

                                                          #29
                                                          Originally posted by KRosh
                                                          Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)







                                                          Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Vick!
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Nov 2005
                                                            • 6882

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by psili
                                                            Courtesy of Bash.org:

                                                            <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
                                                            <Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
                                                            <RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
                                                            <Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
                                                            <RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
                                                            This is so fucking wrong
                                                            Affordable Quality Web Hosting

                                                            Comment

                                                            • urbanpimp
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • May 2007
                                                              • 526

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by kmanrox
                                                              you guys don't plan to do any real business in this industry, do yas?

                                                              hahahahahhahaa

                                                              Comment

                                                              • emjay
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Dec 2004
                                                                • 4280

                                                                #32
                                                                Three Texans are sitting together on an airplane. Two are hardy, tall men wearing cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats. The third is a little old Jewish man wearing a yalmuke, short pants, and high black sox with sandles.

                                                                The first Texan says: My name is Roger, I have 2000 acres and 3,000 head of cattle. I call my place "The Jolly Roger."

                                                                The second Texan says: My name is Gene. I own 5.000 acres and 5,000 head. I call my place "Gene's Ranch Estate."

                                                                The little old Jewish man says: I own 200 acres and got no cattle.

                                                                And what do you call your place says Roger sarcastically.

                                                                Downtown Dallas says the old Jewish man.
                                                                I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
                                                                www.emjayconsultancy.com

                                                                Comment

                                                                • fluffygrrl
                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                  • May 2006
                                                                  • 2187

                                                                  #33
                                                                  1940, Aaron and Ariel are convicted by the nazis to death by firing squad. While they're waiting for the squad to assemble, one of those funny tricycles comes in a cloud of dust. The sentence was comuted to death by hanging.

                                                                  Ariel : See ? Their days are numbered, already running out of bullets.

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • Mutt
                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                    • Sep 2002
                                                                    • 34431

                                                                    #34
                                                                    isn't Lensman Jewish? you guys are tards.
                                                                    I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • emjay
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Dec 2004
                                                                      • 4280

                                                                      #35
                                                                      Originally posted by Mutt
                                                                      isn't Lensman Jewish? you guys are tards.
                                                                      Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...

                                                                      Being married to a jewish princess, I have been to Isreal on several occasions.

                                                                      Once thing that struck me, particularly after having lived in Germany for over ten years, is the Jewish people's capacity not to take themseleves too seriously.

                                                                      Whilst some of the jokes posted here might be "below the mark" and have antisementic undertones, from my experience the greatest fans of Jewish jokes are Jews themselves.
                                                                      I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me
                                                                      www.emjayconsultancy.com

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • GatorB
                                                                        The Demon & 12clicks
                                                                        • Oct 2001
                                                                        • 18208

                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by emjay
                                                                        Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...
                                                                        tard=retard

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • noone1
                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                          • Apr 2007
                                                                          • 111

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Originally posted by emjay
                                                                          Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...

                                                                          Being married to a jewish princess, I have been to Isreal on several occasions.

                                                                          Once thing that struck me, particularly after having lived in Germany for over ten years, is the Jewish people's capacity not to take themseleves too seriously.

                                                                          Whilst some of the jokes posted here might be "below the mark" and have antisementic undertones, from my experience the greatest fans of Jewish jokes are Jews themselves.
                                                                          Yes, we are the greatest fans of them.

                                                                          Comment

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