A Sunday Laugh ... Courtroom Joke ;-)
There is this small town court case of a major felony.
The prosecutor calls a witness to the offence, a Mrs Jones, a lady of about 85 years of age who has lived in the small town all of her life.
As has to be the case in any small town trial, the legal counsel must be transparent when it comes to any personal relationships between themselves and any witnesses, so the prosecutor asks Mrs Jones, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?".
"Yes", says the old lady, "You are as an obnoxious little shit as you were when you were just a child growing up across the road from me. You lied, you cheated and you stole then, and I'll goddamn bet that you would do the same now."
The prosecutor blushes and goes silent for a minute as he considers how to work around that one ....
"Mrs Jones, do you know Mr Peterson, the counsel for the defence?", he asked.
"My bloody oath I know that fat, lazy, good for nothing little pervert. I have known him since he was born when I was an attending nurse at the hospital and I have known the little shithead ever since. Still looking through old ladies bathroom windows at night Peterson?".
At that the Judge comes to life, bangs his gavel, and orders both sets of counsel to chambers.
When in the chambers, the judge faces the prosecutor and defence counsel and says, "If either of you two ask that old bitch if she knows me I'll have you disbarred by sundown".
The prosecutor calls a witness to the offence, a Mrs Jones, a lady of about 85 years of age who has lived in the small town all of her life.
As has to be the case in any small town trial, the legal counsel must be transparent when it comes to any personal relationships between themselves and any witnesses, so the prosecutor asks Mrs Jones, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?".
"Yes", says the old lady, "You are as an obnoxious little shit as you were when you were just a child growing up across the road from me. You lied, you cheated and you stole then, and I'll goddamn bet that you would do the same now."
The prosecutor blushes and goes silent for a minute as he considers how to work around that one ....
"Mrs Jones, do you know Mr Peterson, the counsel for the defence?", he asked.
"My bloody oath I know that fat, lazy, good for nothing little pervert. I have known him since he was born when I was an attending nurse at the hospital and I have known the little shithead ever since. Still looking through old ladies bathroom windows at night Peterson?".
At that the Judge comes to life, bangs his gavel, and orders both sets of counsel to chambers.
When in the chambers, the judge faces the prosecutor and defence counsel and says, "If either of you two ask that old bitch if she knows me I'll have you disbarred by sundown".
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