Girls!!..This is how it is - live by it or leave us alone!
Ok Girls - now we hear the guys' side - These are our rules!
Do not bend them, this will only result in total confusion !!!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down.
> 2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
> can
> find the perfect present yet again!
> 3. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> 4. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
> 5. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
> 6. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
> way.
> 7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
> 8. Crying is blackmail.
> 9. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
> 10. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar.
> Remind us frequently beforehand.
> 11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be
> any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
> 12. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> 13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> 14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> 15. Check your oil! Please.
> 16. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> 17. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
> to
> act like soap opera guys.
> 18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> 19. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> 20. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
> not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> 21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
> 22. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> 23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we were going out.
> Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
> 24. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for
> example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
> what mauve is.
> 25. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> 26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> 27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 28. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape
Do not bend them, this will only result in total confusion !!!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down.
> 2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
> can
> find the perfect present yet again!
> 3. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> 4. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
> 5. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
> 6. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
> way.
> 7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
> 8. Crying is blackmail.
> 9. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
> 10. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar.
> Remind us frequently beforehand.
> 11. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be
> any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
> 12. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> 13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> 14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> 15. Check your oil! Please.
> 16. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> 17. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
> to
> act like soap opera guys.
> 18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> 19. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> 20. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
> not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> 21. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
> 22. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> 23. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we were going out.
> Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
> 24. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for
> example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
> what mauve is.
> 25. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> 26. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> 27. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 28. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape
butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look
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