11-19-2010, 04:23 PM
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Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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Apparently SillyRant missed it... 
Quote:
South Park‘s newest season kicked off last night by revealing Cartman’s hidden dream of being a NASCAR driver, but alas, as Cartman saw it, he didn’t have the characteristics to become a successful driver. Poor Cartman, share a cry for him. As Kyle and Stan began to offer a helping hand they slowly realized what Cartman had meant. It wasn’t the fact that he is fat, racist and a terrible kid; rather, it was because he wasn’t poor and stupid enough to ever be a part of it…and we’re off, as South Park takes on NASCAR and a few more other things…
Naturally, in any scheme Cartman concocts, he enlists the help of poor naive Butters who is so easily manipulated into doing anything Cartman says. Butters promptly uses all of Cartman’s wealth, around $57, to help out those less fortunate than him; namely, the poor stupid fans of NASCAR, and helps Cartman drink about a gallon of Vagisil since it supposedly creates memory loss and will make Cartman stupid.
Despite growing three sparkly clean vaginas inside his stomach, Cartman crashes the race car he and Butters hijack during a NASCAR race and crash it into a nearby lake. Hilarious right? No, not really, and it didn’t get too much better than that.
Soon Cartman’s hijinx catches the eye of Vagisil and suddenly he has a sponsor and a new car! A sponsor who created Vagisil because his wife Patty apparently has a stinky cooter that would clear the room wherever she went like Timon from The Lion King, except he farted and didn’t have a stinky twat.
Things started to pick up a little at this point as Cartman and Butters videotape themselves acting really ‘poor’ and ‘stupid’, which naturally entails raging on Obama while acting drunk and inebriated and speaking in a southern twang. Still not too many laughs, but certainly one of the bright spots.
Eventually Cartman takes his show to the track for one final race after ripping on Danica Patrick and all other NASCAR drivers, and does produce some laughs as he proceeds to destroy everything around him, and gives a big Fuck You Danica Patrick in a hilarious way.
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