Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION!

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  • luv$
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    • Dec 2004
    • 6158

    #1

    Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION!

    Insert timeline pic below - but first time I read it and very funny:

    Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

    When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan,
    Jim
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  • tony299
    lurker
    • Aug 2002
    • 57021

    #2
    That is great

    Comment

    • cj_purve
      Confirmed User
      • Sep 2002
      • 1065

      #3
      hahahahhahahahahaha
      classic

      Comment

      • Big_Red
        Confirmed User
        • Jun 2006
        • 4147

        #4
        wheres that timeline pic?
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        • notabook
          Confirmed User
          • Apr 2006
          • 9748

          #5

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          • heywood
            So Fucking Banned
            • Jun 2003
            • 468

            #6
            haha that probably is old as sin, but I haven't seen it. I think I should memorize it.

            I love bible thumpers.

            Comment

            • darnit
              Confirmed User
              • Jul 2001
              • 2439

              #7
              New to me

              Comment

              • AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
                Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
                • Jul 2004
                • 38323

                #8


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                • nikooo
                  Confirmed User
                  • Apr 2007
                  • 1199

                  #9
                  great........

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                  • dozey
                    Confirmed User
                    • Nov 2004
                    • 552

                    #10

                    Comment

                    • everestcash
                      Confirmed User
                      • Apr 2002
                      • 2194

                      #11
                      lol very funny!
                      tnx for sharing)

                      Comment

                      • Wizzo
                        2011 GFY Hall of Fame!
                        • Nov 2000
                        • 15224

                        #12
                        HAHA... great stuff!
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                        • PaulB IYP
                          Confirmed User
                          • Nov 2005
                          • 2164

                          #13
                          that is gold
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                          • Brad
                            Confirmed User
                            • Jan 2007
                            • 2510

                            #14
                            I'll have to keep that one in my back pocket for later use
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                            • JayDeeZee
                              Confirmed User
                              • Aug 2006
                              • 3595

                              #15
                              LOL...That's a great one

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                              • notabook
                                Confirmed User
                                • Apr 2006
                                • 9748

                                #16
                                Originally posted by dozey

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                                • WarChild
                                  Let slip the dogs of war.
                                  • Jan 2003
                                  • 17263

                                  #17
                                  That's pretty much all Old Testament stuff. Remember, Christians are all about the New Testament. Not that I believe any of it.
                                  .

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