Am I paranoid or am I reasonably cautious :
So, I decided to go by this park and sit down and chill out.
I arrived and there was one guy there by the tennis court who I waved at.
He kind of hesitantly waved back and seemed to stare as I parked and
walked toward the baseball filed. He left the park at this point still
kind of looking at me. No big deal I thought and still think.
I take a seat on the bleachers and for some reason I start to wonder
if I'm doing something wrong. I'm pretty sure I'm not breaking any laws
but this feeling that I'm doing something wrong is really strong.
I'm thinking, keep sitting here and the cops will come.
Hey, just paranoia I say. So I chill there in the quiet for about 30
minutes and decide the paranoia is just because I'm the only human
soul anywhere near this place.
Then I decide I better leave. I get up and start walking back to the car
and up rolls two cop cars. I figure this is probably a routine run for the
cops. You know, just cruise the park every now and then making the
rounds. The cops see me, at least I think they do, then they drive
behind the tennis courts and circle around but then come full circle and the
first car stops by me and rolls down his window.
The cop tells me he got a call that there was a fight by the tennis
courts. Well, there's nothing near the tennis courts except my car.
No other humans were in the park since the first guy left.
I tell the cops that there is no way there was a fight out here because
no one else except me had been here for the last 30 minutes.
I tell him that who ever called in a fight is full of shit, unless I'm
fighting with myself.
The cops say OK and they leave and so do I.
So all is well, no big deal.
But was I paranoid to believe that cops would show up as soon as
I sat down or am I reasonably cautious that some idiot will call the
cops on me just for sitting down?
There was no fight out there, I'm the only one there!
And this has
nothing to do with race; that entire neighborhood is the
same race as me without exception.
Fuck it! I'm paranoid. It's just a coincidence that someone thought
it was a fight and I just happen to be the only one there.
Reality : I'm scared shitless about going places because I'm big as all fucking
hell and the site of me scares the shit out of some people and the cops come.
This happens all the time. People think they are scared but they
have no idea of how terrified I've become because I keep thinking that
I'm going to go to jail just because I look like a fucking monster.
It's all in my mind right?
This happens to you also right?