Jerking off @ the office

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  • Brut
    So Fucking Banned
    • Apr 2002
    • 81

    #1

    Jerking off @ the office

    You guys know what it feels like: that hard-on that just won't stop, that won't go down no matter what you do or what you think about. The only way to tame the beast is by slapping it. It happens now and then, and shouldn't be mistaken for the regular hard-ons that comes and goes.

    Now, once a while this beast is awoken when I'm at work, which happened the other day. Overcome by the desire and the need to get it down (lunch was coming up), I placed my raging hard-on so that it couldn't be seen, put my sweater over and headed for the bathroom. Once there I was faced with this dilemma, which I want to know if any of you guys out there has ever faced:

    When you go into the toilet you can always assume that someone have to go in right after you, in other words: someone might be standing outside waiting for you to finish. But beating off takes more time than taking a piss, even if you wrestle the one eyed warrior in a tempo that makes the right arm cramp up, it usually takes the same amount of time as if you're taking a dump. So it's safe to assume that anyone standing outside waiting for you to finish - thus have to wait at least 5 minutes - will think that you're taking a shit.

    But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office.

    What can I do?
  • UnseenWorld
    Confirmed User
    • May 2001
    • 5279

    #2
    One word: saltpeter.
    SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

    Comment

    • chodadog
      Confirmed User
      • Apr 2002
      • 9736

      #3
      Jerk off in your cubicle.
      26 + 6 = 1

      Comment

      • MetaformX
        Confirmed User
        • Mar 2002
        • 6704

        #4
        Brut, you sick motherfucker. I am telling dad

        Comment

        • Exxxotica
          Confirmed User
          • Jan 2001
          • 4396

          #5
          Originally posted by Brut



          But then, when you come out all red in the face and breathing heavily as if taken the shit of your life, they go in and they can't smell any foul stench, they surely must put two-and-two together? I don't want to be known as the jerk-off (litterally) in the office.

          What can I do?
          Invite them into your stall.

          Friends who play together...stay together.
          Last edited by Exxxotica; 05-02-2002, 11:32 PM.


          Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

          note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy

          Comment

          • Brut
            So Fucking Banned
            • Apr 2002
            • 81

            #6
            Originally posted by chodadog
            Jerk off in your cubicle.
            Yah, only problem would be I would go nuts and shoot everywhere. Hitting everyone and everything around me. It would be the most awesome disaster the world has ever seen....so I don't think that would be an option

            Comment

            • chodadog
              Confirmed User
              • Apr 2002
              • 9736

              #7
              Originally posted by Brut


              Yah, only problem would be I would go nuts and shoot everywhere. Hitting everyone and everything around me. It would be the most awesome disaster the world has ever seen....so I don't think that would be an option
              Under the desk my good man! Leave it for the janitor! hahaha
              26 + 6 = 1

              Comment

              • Exxxotica
                Confirmed User
                • Jan 2001
                • 4396

                #8
                Originally posted by chodadog


                Under the desk my good man! Leave it for the janitor! hahaha

                On a more disgusting note:

                When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

                Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

                Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

                I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.


                Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

                note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy

                Comment

                • chodadog
                  Confirmed User
                  • Apr 2002
                  • 9736

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Exxxotica



                  On a more disgusting note:

                  When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

                  Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

                  Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

                  I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.
                  Ack!
                  26 + 6 = 1

                  Comment

                  • Brut
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Apr 2002
                    • 81

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Exxxotica



                    On a more disgusting note:

                    When I got my cable conection, the guy came over and installed a card into the back of my PC.

                    Being that my PC is kept under my desk, he had to be down on his hands and knees under my desk installing the thing.

                    Let me remind you people... I somtimes masteurbate up to four times a day.

                    I felt so bad for that poor guy down there.
                    Whoa.. You don't clean yer shit up when yer done? lol. You should invest in a sock

                    Comment

                    • chodadog
                      Confirmed User
                      • Apr 2002
                      • 9736

                      #11
                      Yeah, exxx, you need a cum rag or something man.. that's just not coo'
                      26 + 6 = 1

                      Comment

                      • Exxxotica
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jan 2001
                        • 4396

                        #12
                        but it's NATURAL


                        Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven

                        note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy

                        Comment

                        • chodadog
                          Confirmed User
                          • Apr 2002
                          • 9736

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Exxxotica
                          but it's NATURAL
                          I'm pretty sure the cable guys sees things differently! hehehehe
                          26 + 6 = 1

                          Comment

                          • snowpimp
                            Confirmed User
                            • Feb 2002
                            • 1099

                            #14
                            fill the room up with airfreshener or strike a bunch of matches as if you'd taken a shit. and don't forget to put the seat down before you walk out....i've been editing and reviewing our xpleasures videos, it's a *HARD* fucking job and sometimes when things get in the way, you just have to take care of business....
                            HIGH QUALITY ADULT AND NON-ADULT DESIGN/MARKETING WORK SINCE 1997!!

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                            Comment

                            • CDSmith
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • May 2001
                              • 51460

                              #15
                              Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all.

                              BTW, does anyone wanna buy woodywrench.com? How about pudpulley.com? yankywank.com? Just curious.
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                              • Due
                                Confirmed User
                                • Mar 2001
                                • 3620

                                #16
                                Join a site with some old and fat people.
                                Whenever you feel you need to jerk off. Go look at the members area
                                I can give you some discount for www.oldnfat.com
                                I buy plugs
                                Skype: Due_Global
                                /Due

                                Comment

                                • Hot Tropical Babes
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2001
                                  • 3014

                                  #17
                                  I dont know what to tell you Brut, I never have been faced with that kind of delima.

                                  But, this may help, click on the thread called "This chick is hot"
                                  that may shrink your dink.
                                  <BR>
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                                  Comment

                                  • Squishy
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Aug 2001
                                    • 1809

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by CDSmith
                                    Simple --- carry a "stall broken" sign with you at all times. When you have to wank, just hang the sign and no one will bother you at all...
                                    Where you been, man? It makes me nervous when you disappear like that for so long...ya know, wolves and shit...

                                    Comment

                                    • jojojo
                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                      • Mar 2002
                                      • 2318

                                      #19
                                      Brut:

                                      How can you jerk off knowing there are other men wandering around a few feet away from ya!

                                      Look under the door and wait till you see 'no feet'
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                                      Comment

                                      • vegasdude
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Jul 2001
                                        • 3649

                                        #20
                                        look here:
                                        http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...threadid=59122

                                        and the hardon will die in less than 2 secs!
                                        Did you fucking talk to me??!
                                        Who the fuck told you to talk to me??!"

                                        Comment

                                        • Milton
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Apr 2002
                                          • 1118

                                          #21
                                          Normaly i take a jerk at the morning and the night..
                                          when the porno movies start on tv.. vivid is good to jerk off
                                          to ..

                                          Comment

                                          • VeriSexy
                                            Join The Royal Family
                                            • Apr 2002
                                            • 25463

                                            #22
                                            You guys still get hard to porn? Maybe I have been at this too long. =/ Pictures and Movies don't do anything to me anymore.
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                                            Comment

                                            • Jamdin
                                              Registered User
                                              • Jan 2001
                                              • 3560

                                              #23
                                              You should try out the ladies' room instead. Open a stall door with some gal sitting on the throne & say in a low deep voice "Open up & I'll see to it that you get a raise!"

                                              Comment

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